This war was not started for your private gratification, and you can be damned sure it's not being run for your personal convenience, either!
Major John Reisman
Lee Marvin · 13 quotes
Maj. Gen. Worden
Ernest Borgnine · 3 quotes
Samson Posey
Clint Walker · 3 quotes
Archer J. Maggot
Telly Savalas · 2 quotes
Joseph Wladislaw
Charles Bronson · 1 quote
Victor Franko
John Cassavetes · 1 quote
Most scenes together: Major John Reisman & Samson Posey (2)
The Dirty Dozen quotes
Page 1 of 2
Col. Everett Dasher Breed Reisman! Some people may consider you a first-class officer. But as far as I'm concerned, you're a disorganized, undisciplined clown. I'm gonna' make it my business to run you out of this Army.
I owe you an apology, colonel. I always thought that you were a cold, unimaginative, tight-lipped officer. But you're really quite emotional, aren't you?
Gen. Denton Major Reisman is heading toward a court martial of his own. He's the most ill-mannered, ill-disciplined officer that it's ever been my displeasure to meet.
You think so, Denton? You may be right. But he's sure right about one thing. Somebody up there must be a raving lunatic.
Ours or theirs?
[Kinder has just finished a psychiatric evaluation of Reisman's troops]
So what does that give you?
Capt. Stuart Kinder Doesn't give me anything. But along with these other results, it gives you just about the most twisted, anti-social bunch of psychopathic deformities I have ever run into! And the worst, the most dangerous of the bunch, is Maggott. You've got one religious maniac, one malignant dwarf, two near-idiots... and the rest I don't even wanna think about!
Well, I can't think of a better way to fight a war.
Capt. Stuart Kinder These people don't know their enemy is the Germans. They think the enemy is their own United States Army!
Maybe that's because the Germans haven't done anything to them yet.
Any questions?
Suh? Do we have to eat with ****hs?
Sergeant Clyde Bowren [Jefferson jumps Maggot] [as Reisman exits the room]
What's going on, sir?
Oh, the gentleman from the South had a question about the dining arrangements. He and his comrades are discussing place settings now.
How come you speak German?
My old man came from Silesia. He didn't speak German, he didn't dig coal. If he didn't dig coal, he didn't eat.
Posey, what did they lock you up for? I mean, what did you do?
I already told you that sir.
Well tell me again. I'm sure your friends over here would like to know too.
This fella kept pushing me. I don't like to be pushed so I hit him.
Killed a man with your bare hands because he shoved you?
I only hit him once.
Only him him once. And drove his jawbone right through his brain because he pushed him.
What do you think, Sergeant?
Sergeant Clyde Bowren I think you'll do just fine, sir.
Sergeant Clyde Bowren I think the first chance one of those lovers gets, he's going to shoot the Major right in the head... sir.
Which one of you guys wants to be a general? [Pinkley raises his hand] Pinkley?
Pinkley What kind of general, sir?
Just a plain, ordinary, every day, home-lovin' American general.
Pinkley I'd rather be a civilian, sir.
I don't want to hurt you Major.
You're not gonna hurt me, I'm gonna hurt you.
lt confirms a suspicion l've had for some time now, sir.
Think we might share that suspicion? l think you should.
Since we are over here to try to win the war, it shouldn't be advertised that someone we work for is a raving lunatic.
Hey! What's the matter with you? You think I want to die? Ha! If you think that then you don't know Victor Franko.
I never went in for embroidery, just results.
I reckon the folks'd be a sight happier if I died like a soldier. Can't say I would.