Samantha
Can either of you tell me who wrote The Great Gatsby?
John
Judy Blume?
Ted
Hitler?
Samantha
F. Scott Fitzgerald.
John
Who's that?
Samantha
The author.
John
Well, why are you saying **** him?
Samantha
What?
Ted
You just said F. Scott Fitzgerald. I mean, what would Scott Fitzgerald do to you?
John
Yeah.
Samantha
No, that's his first name.
Samantha
What? No!
John
Well, what does the "F" stand for?
Samantha
Francis.
Ted
No, it's got to be "****".
John
It must be "****".
Ted
It's got to be "****".
John
It has to be "****".
Samantha
Why the hell would it be "****"?
John
Well, 'cause otherwise, why wouldn't he just say it?
Ted
Yeah, he's hiding something. It's "****". It's "****," it's "****."
Samantha
That's completely insane. You guys are idiots.
Ted
Yeah, well, whatever. Ted Clubber Lang. Get used to it.
