Pecos Bill Kind of makes it all worthwhile, don't it?
Played by Patrick Swayze 
Tall Tale (1995) · 61 quotes
Tall Tale (1995) · 61 quotes
Most-quoted character in Tall Tale (1995): in 21 of its 61 quotes
Most scenes with: Paul Bunyan (5), Daniel Hackett (4), John Henry (3)
I am a ring-tailed roarer. I can draw faster, shoot straighter, ride harder, and drink longer than any man alive. I ride cyclones and I wrestle. I'm the rip-snortinest cowboy that ever rode North, South, East or West of the Rio Grande. I'm Pecos Bill.
More lines from Pecos Bill
11 quotes Pecos Bill Pecos Bill Widowmaker's kind of particular of folks taking liberties with him. Matter of fact, last man who tried that… Widowmaker kicked him so hard he ended up halfway to the Moon. Name of Lanky Hank. He bounced up and down for a month of Sundays until finally I just had to shoot him down so he could have a proper burial.
Pecos Bill You sure do know a lot for a half-growed piglet, so how’s this for plain English: stay away from the horse or he'll kill you.
Pecos Bill [surrounded by thugs]
Howdy. [a thug punches him]
Pecos Bill [after Daniel describes telephones]
Everybody'll know everybody else's business? Well, in no time at all, there won't be a single place left where a man can find any privacy.
Pecos Bill Used to be when a man got a head start, it meant something.
Pecos Bill You gave it your best shot? Well, if you gave it your best shot, you ain't got nothing to be sorry for.
Pecos Bill Mister, you can insult me, and you can insult my friends. As a matter of fact, you can insult my mother and my horse. But mister, don't you ever insult the great state of Texas.
Pecos Bill First that blasted ox, now a gall-darn jackass. Might as well be ridin' turtles. [John Henry: Cold Molasses is a mule!] I wasn't referrin' to her.
Pecos Bill This ain't nothin' compared to the summer of '88. It was so hot, that chickens was layin' fried eggs, and babies was cryin' out sawdust. So I hightailed it up to Kansas...
Pecos Bill It is amazing, the things heat'll do to a man.
Scenes with Pecos Bill
9 scenes
Who are you?
Pecos Bill I am a ring-tailed roarer. I can draw faster, shoot straighter and drink longer than any man alive. I ride cyclones and i wrassle--
You got a name, don't you?
Pecos Bill I'm gettin' to that. I'm the rip-snortinest cowboy that ever rode North, South, East or West of the Rio Grande. I'm Pecos Bill.
And I'm Santy Claus.
Pecos Bill Friendly cuss, ain't he, Widow Maker? Well, Dan'l Hackett, I think them two varmints got somethin' that belongs to you.
Pecos Bill I oughta plug you two right now. But I make it a rule never to kill a man on a Sunday.
Grub
Sunday?
Zeb Today's Wednesday.
Pecos Bill Wednesday?
Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but in my day, we didn't steal from the land, we just borrowed from it.
Pecos Bill Well, now what in tarnation are you going to do about it?
I'm going to do as I darn well please and the rest of the world can go to the blazes!
Pecos Bill And would that be includin' Paradise Valley?
Paradise Valley is no concern of mine.
You're not Paul Bunyan.
Who says I ain't?
My pa used to tell me stories about Paul Bunyan. He said that Paul Bunyan was a giant of a man, a man who could tame a continent, a man who could look danger in the eyes and laugh in its face.
Well, he did get those parts right.
Well, not from where I'm sitting! Seems to me you're just hiding out, feeling sorry for yourself.
Pecos, who is this kid?
Seems to me that you're just plain scared. You are not the Paul Bunyan my pa was telling me about.
How old are you, kid?
Twelve.
Do me a Sequoia-sized favor - Stay out of my way if you want to be thirteen.
Calamity Jane Well, paint my toenails and curl my hair.
Pecos Bill Calamity? My cactus flower!
Calamity Jane [shoots his cigar]
Don't you "Cactus Flower" me, you double-crossing dog!
Pecos Bill I missed you, darling! If only you knew how much I've been thinkin' about you...
Calamity Jane I know too well, you pissant, flea-infested little weasel. [shoots the ceiling, causing a bucket to fall on his head]
Pecos Bill Calamity, you're looking mighty pretty tonight.
Calamity Jane Trying to sweet-talk me, you hairy, overgrown, meally-mouthed, two-faced, lyin', yellow-bellied snivelling snake?! [shoots his belt off] You gutless, brainless, heartless, sidewinder!
Pecos Bill [backed to a wall]
Now, you still ain't sore about Amarillo, are you?
Calamity Jane You had to bring up Amarillo? [shoots an outline of Pecos Bill into the wall]
Pecos Bill Stupid ox! What's wrong with the dumb animal?! Why ain't he pulling, Paul?! Why'd he quit pulling, Paul?
It's very simple. If you insulted him, you have to apologize.
Pecos Bill Paul.
Mister Pecos Bill.
Pecos Bill I ain't apologizing to no ox.
I once seen a picture of New York City at night, it's all lit up with all these electric light bulbs. Can use a few of them right now.
Pecos Bill Electric light ball?
Light bulbs. They're balls of glass that light up hundreds of times brighter than the brightest candle.
Go on.
Well, pretty soon, people won't need lanterns, won't have to go chop their wood to make fires. Just turn this little knob and the electric light bulbs just come on.
But I like chopping wood.
Pretty soon, there won't be no darkness. It'll be like noontime at midnight.
Well, how are folks going to see the stars?
They just... won't see the stars, I guess.
Pecos Bill Well, I don't like it. No siree Bob, I don't like it one... Oh... [laughs] If you ask me, I think he's telling us a tall tale.
Yeah, that's a tall tale. That's a tall tale for sure.
That's God's honest truth.
Not see the stars?
Pecos Bill This ain't nothin' compared to the summer of '88. It was so hot, all the chickens was layin' fried eggs and babies was cryin' sawdust. Things got so bad, the whole state of Texas lit on fire. So I hightailed it up to Kansas...
Does this story have a point? Or does it just go on and on and on like this stinkin' desert?
Pecos Bill Yeah, this story has a point. I blew out the dang fire! You know, I'm gettin' sick and tired of you complaining and whining all the time!
I'm lost in a giant barbeque pit and I don't know what's going to kill me first: the heat, the thirst, or having' to listen to your inceseant yammerin!
You stay out of this you-you contest loser! What did you call me?!
[Paul and Henry start to fight]
You're nothing but a big fat quitter! QUITTER, QUITTER, QUITTER!
Pecos Bill Harm one hair on that boy's head and you're a dead man, Stiles.
I got no quarrel with you, cowboy, or your friends.
Pecos Bill You sure got a peculiar way of showing it.
Pecos Bill You can't have the -
Pecos Bill If that's your way of thinking, I reckon we don't.
You don't stop progress, cowboy. That's the difference between me and you. I can adjust to the times. You can't.
Don't listen to him, Daniel.
We can beat this thing yet.
Pecos Bill You've just got to believe, boy.
[hesitates, turns to Pecos, John and Paul]
Where do you get off telling me what to do? Where do any of you get off telling people how to live?!
That's it, boy. That's the spirit!
Pecos Bill Don't lose the dream, Daniel.
You don't know what you can do until you try.
Don't give up on yourself, kid.
You all are nothing! Just a bunch of tall tales that my pa made up! [turns to Pecos Bill] And you are nothing but hot air.
I ain't got all day, boy. Time is money.
Pecos Bill Don't do it, Daniel.
Mister, I got no fight with you.
Pecos Bill Naw, defenseless youngins' and farmers are more your style.
Mister, you just killed yourself.
