Father
Thomas Smith?
Thomas Here! But I don't know where here is man, 'cause I'm so wasted man!
Father
Thomas, it is a sin to even pretend that you-you-you're baked.
Superstar quotes
Thomas
Grandma Gallagher
Mary Katherine, what are you doing?
I'm using my telekineses to kill the girl who poured pig's blood on me at the prom.
Mary Katherine Gallagher doing a Bully Voice
Oh look at you, my pretty little girl, sitting there with your face all painted up in your little halter top, you're nothing but a little slut.
Mary Katherine Gallagher doing a Puerto Rican Lady Voice
Don't call me that, I'm a Puerto Rican lady senior.
Mary Katherine Gallagher doing a Bully Voice
You're nothing but a little slut, Sybill Ann Dorsett, we know you're a little slut!
Mary Katherine Gallagher doing a Puerto Rican Lady Voice
I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut, I AIN'T NO SLUT! (breaks the door, falls on the ground and cries.)
Oh my God!
Jesus Oh my Me! How are you?
It's going OK. Are you the Lord?
Jesus Well, to you I am. See, technically, you're, like, in this REM sleep state, and I'm a mixture of your mind's images of God, some past authority figures, uh, Skye, and your dad. Basically, your subconscious came up with me to help you deal. Dig?
Yeah... uh, you want a glass of water or something?
Jesus No, I'm good. I'm God!
Oh. Right.
So what really happened to your parents?
Slater They were savagely ripped apart and eaten by a school of hammerhead sharks.
That happens a lot.
Father Ritley Mary Katherine, what was that horrible thing you said to Sister Eileen?
I told her to move her big white butt or I would cold **** her h***y ass.
Father Ritley [Evian is receiving Communion.]
Body of Christ.
Evian Graham Are these non-fat?
[to Evian]
If I was Sissy Spacek in the movie Carrie, I'm gonna use my telekinesis to KILL you!
[to Evian]
Well, you should be embarrassed because your parents named you after bottled water!
Are you aware that I am rubber, and you are glue, and whatever you say to me bounces off, of me, and sticks to you? So put that in your, back pocket.
Sometimes, when I get nervous, I stick my hands under my armpits and than I smell them like this!
SUPERSTAR!
These are my BREASTS. They're so BIG. I need a BRA to strap them and support because they're so HUGE they need to be hooked and strapped for support. My big boobs, this one is bigger than this one 'cause is the mommy and that's the baby. And this one is very nice to this one and they hold hands because they're FRIENDS!
Your birthmark looks like shit!