[Gargamel looks for a laboratory in New York City and spots a port-a-potty/] [impressed]
Oh. Yes. It's a bit small, but it should do nicely! [climbs into the port-a-potty with Azrael] Oh, it's even got its own cauldron!
[A gurgling sound can be heard]
What died in here? [the port-a-poty shakes and thumping sounds can be heard] OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, OPPEEENNNN!
[Gargamel and Azrael finally fall out, dizzy and confused] [choking]
Somebody's been working a dark and terrible magic in there! [coughs in disgust]
[After Gargamel runs headlong into the back of a stopped cab, the Smurfs laughed at him as the cab starts moving again and pulled away]
Knock yourself out, Gargamel!
You've had that coming for about 30 years!
Smurfs! [as a Anjelou card flew by from the bumper and he grabs it]
[he and Azrael walk around New York, searching for the Smurfs]
We must find this Smurf thief. [Azrael meows] Ah, stop your complaining. If I were a Smurf, where would I go? [spots a businessman talking on the phone and approaches him] You there, you there! Fancy pants! Have you seen any little blue men?
[on the phone]
Absolutely, what price are we talking about?
You're selling them?
[A woman talking on the phone walks by, Gargamel follows her.] [on the phone]
Have you looked in the drawer, sweetie?
[on the phone]
In the kitchen, Lily.
Who is this Lily?
[A man also talking on the phone walks by.] [on the phone]
Are you kidding? She's like the hottest girl in my apartment.
[stops the man]
Please, please. Please, young woodsman. What does the temperature of this Lily have to do with the finding of Smurfs?
[to Gargamel]
Take your meds, man. [walks away]
[confused]
What? I, I... [shouts] IS EVERYONE IN THIS REALM COMPLETELY INSANE?! [spots a peddlar] Oh, thank the gods. A local wizard. Excellent. [to the peddlar] Eh pardon me, wise sir? By any chance, have you seen any little blue men?
They're everywhere! [laughs maniacally and walks away]
I knew it. I knew it! I told you we were close, Azrael!
[unenthusiascally]
I know.
Oh by the way, I wouldn't go anywhere if I were you.
Well, why not?
Our world doesn't really do well with people from other places. I mean, look what happened to E.T.! [The Smurfs look at Patrick, confused] It's a movie. A moving picture? Book? Just stay. Okay? [Walks out the door]
Grace, we're being attacked! Do not be fooled by their cuteness!
It's okay, it's okay. [Cuts to the Smurfs gathered around her bare feet; so close that they can smell her toes]
They're friendly!
How can you be the girl in the village?
Well see, I wasn't brought by a stork like the others. I was created by Gargamel to trap the other Smurfs.
Wow! And then what happened?
Papa saved me. He cast a special spell, and then helped become the Smurf I was meant to be.
