N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

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View Quote Eugene Sutphin: [during sex with Beverly] Oh honey, you are hot tonight!
View Quote Chip Sutphin: [in response to Misty telling the family about her new love interest] You sure can pick 'em.
View Quote Misty Sutphin: Chip! Our mother is Charles Manson!
View Quote Ralph Sterner: [while having teeth drilled] Help me Betty! He's worse than the dentist in the Marathon Man!
View Quote Marvin Pickles: There was a lady in the men's room, I swear! A pretty little lady, in the stall right next to me!
View Quote Police woman: Bingo boys, bust the bitch.
View Quote Emma Lou Jenson: [talking to her dog] Come on, lick Mommy's feet. Get 'em all wet!
View Quote Detective: Proceed with caution; she is armed. And ****in' nuts!
View Quote Chip: Hey dad, have you ever seen Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer?
Eugene: I most certainly have not!
View Quote Eugene: Listen to this, [reading from the newspaper] "Hillside Strangler gets his college degree in prison".
Beverly: That's nice, dear.
Eugene: Nice? He should have been executed!
Misty: He killed people, mom!
Beverly: We all have our bad days.
View Quote Chip: Is there a killer loose?!
Detective Pike: No son, nothing that exciting.
View Quote [Beverly calls Dottie Hinkle]
Dottie Hinkle: Hello?
Beverly Sutphin: Is this the **** residence?
Dottie Hinkle: God damn you! Stop calling here!
Beverly Sutphin: Isn't this 4215 Pussy Way?
Dottie Hinkle: You bitch!
Beverly Sutphin: Now let me check the zip code. Two-one-two-****-you?
Dottie Hinkle: The police are tracing this call this very minute.
Beverly Sutphin: Well, Dottie Hinkle, then why aren't they here, huh, ****face?
Dottie Hinkle: **** YOU! [hangs up]
Beverly Sutphin: [laughs manically]
[Beverly immediately calls Dottie back]
Dottie Hinkle: Didn't I just say **** you!?
Beverly Sutphin: [in a different voice] I beg your pardon!
Dottie Hinkle: Who is this?
Beverly Sutphin: Mrs. Wilson from the telephone company. We understand you're having some trouble with an obscene phone caller?
Dottie Hinkle: Oh, Mrs. Wilson, I'm so sorry. These calls are driving me crazy! I'm a divorced woman, please help me.
Beverly Sutphin: Well what exactly does this sick individual say to you?
Dottie Hinkle: I can't say the words out loud, I don't use bad language.
Beverly Sutphin: Oh yes, I know it's difficult, but we need to know the exact words.
Dottie Hinkle: I'll try. ****, that's what she calls me.
Beverly Sutphin: [reverting to the original voice] Listen to your filthy mouth, you ****in' whore!
Dottie Hinkle: Goddamn you!
Beverly Sutphin: Mother ****er!
Dottie Hinkle: **** sucker!
View Quote Chip: So happy I could shit.
Beverly: Chip! You know how I hate the brown word.
View Quote Misty: Mother! It's Carl! He's dead!
Beverly: How horrible. Oh, I just sold the Peewee Herman doll!
View Quote Dottie Hinkle: Nice as pie she was to me, then I hear her say it.
Detective: Say what?
Dottie Hinkle: Are those... I can't say the words out loud.
Detective: Could you tell a police woman the exact words she used?
Dottie Hinkle: Maybe.
Police woman: It's okay, nobody's gonna hurt you. Come on, let it out.
Dottie Hinkle: PUSSY! That's what she said to me! PUSSY WILLOW!
View Quote Chip: You know Mom, Scotty thinks you're the killer.
Beverly: [laughs] Does he? You know, for someone who doesn't wear his seatbelt Scotty sure is nosy.
View Quote Chip: Tell me the truth, Mom. Really, it's okay with me. Are you a serial killer?
Beverly: Chip, the only serial I know anything about is Rice Krispies!
View Quote Birdie: You're bigger than Freddy and Jason now! Only you're a real person!
Beverly: Do you think I need a lawyer?
Chip: You need an agent!
View Quote Beverly: Mrs. Hinkle, do you drink?
Dottie Hinkle: No, I don't.
Beverly: So you weren't drunk when you received those alleged obscene phone calls?
Dottie Hinkle: I certainly was not.
Beverly: You mean to tell me the day I came over to Mrs. Ackerman's, the day you claim you recognized my voice, you weren't drinking?
Dottie Hinkle: One beer with lunch is hardly drinking.
Beverly: So you do drink?
Dottie Hinkle: Socially. I'll have a beer.
Beverly: So you admit you just lied?
Dottie Hinkle: No I don't, you bitch!
Judge: Watch your mouth, Mrs. Hinkle.
[Beverly whispers "**** you" to Dottie]
Dottie Hinkle: Did you see her?! She just said "**** you" to me!
Beverly: Let the record show I'm merely standing here!
Dottie Hinkle: **** you too, you whore!
Judge: I'm warning you, Mrs. Hinkle. One more obscenity and I'll charge you with contempt of court.
Beverly: Mrs. Hinkle, are you insane?
Dottie Hinkle: No I'm not, you mother ****er!
View Quote Beverly: You can't wear white shoes after Labor Day!
Juror #8: That's not true anymore.
Beverly: Yes it is! Didn't your mother tell you?
Juror #8: No! Please! Fashion has changed!
Beverly: No, it hasn't.
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