JC Jason Carvey
Okay, I think I'm on Hudson. Um, what color's the outside of the restaurant?
LC Laura Crane
I think it's red.
JC Jason Carvey
I don't see anything red.
LC Laura Crane
I, um, I could be wrong. Let me just, um, let me go and have a little look see.
JC Jason Carvey
Okay. Thank you.
LC Laura Crane
[Laura walks out of the bar]
Hang on. Yep, it's definitely red.
JC Jason Carvey
Yeah, I don't see anything red here.
LC Laura Crane
You sure you're on Hudson?
JC Jason Carvey
Uh...oh, crap. I'm still a block over. Oh, it looks like there's an alley I can cut through. Is the restaurant near an alley?
LC Laura Crane
Um... [notices a nearby alley] Yes, yes, there is an alley.
JC Jason Carvey
Oh, perfect. Okay. I'm coming down the alley.
LC Laura Crane
[Laura looks at the alley; no one comes out]
I don't see you.
JC Jason Carvey
Wait, really? Are you sure? [Laura crosses the road and walks into the alley] Uh, there's some dumpsters about halfway down.
LC Laura Crane
I see them, but I don't see you.
JC Jason Carvey
Yeah, I don't see you either. This is...creepy, right?
LC Laura Crane
Uh, a little bit.
JC Jason Carvey
[chuckles]
20th century slashers, huh?
LC Laura Crane
Yeah. Are you sure you're walking towards Hudson?
JC Jason Carvey
I'm sure. Oh, wait! I think I see you. Can you wave?
LC Laura Crane
[waves]
Can you see me?
JC Jason Carvey
Uh, the person I'm looking at isn't waving. They're just staring at me.
LC Laura Crane
Are you sure?
JC Jason Carvey
Okay, this is weird. Uh...now they're moving towards me.
LC Laura Crane
Are you okay?
JC Jason Carvey
Oh, shit. He's following me.
LC Laura Crane
[walks straight into the alley]
I don't see anybody.
JC Jason Carvey
Oh, shit! He's after me!
LC Laura Crane
Where are you?
JC Jason Carvey
He's got a knife! He's got a knife!
LC Laura Crane
What? What?
JC Jason Carvey
And that isn't the worst part! The worst part is...
Ghostface
[As Jason speaks, his voice suddenly changes into a familiar voice...]
...you teach a class about slashers, and you still walked into a dark alley...alone.
LC Laura Crane
That's not funny.
Ghostface
Ha. No. [Long beat] It’s not.
Ghostface
[Laura suddenly gets scared at something, but it turns out to be a group of teenagers walking past the alley. Laura sighs in relief, until Ghostface suddenly appears and viciously stabs a screaming Laura several times]
Now I see something red!
[He delivers one last stab at Laura, killing her, then takes off his mask, revealing himself to be Jason Carvey]
[At Gale's apartment, the phone rings]
Gale's boyfriend: That'll be our food. [Answers the phone] Hello? [To Gale] Not the food, it's for you.
GW Gale Weathers
Who is it?
Gale's boyfriend: May I ask who's calling, please? [To Gale] He says it's the killer.
GW Gale Weathers
[Gale's eyes widen, and she quickly takes the phone from her boyfriend]
Hello?
Ghostface
Hello, Gale. Strange that you and I have never spoken on the phone. This is long overdue.
GW Gale Weathers
I agree. [To her boyfriend] Call the police.
Ghostface
[Her boyfriend leaves]
I figured, after all these years, you’d want an interview.
GW Gale Weathers
You figured right. So, what's your motive this time? You angry at the movies or are you just trying to stay relevant?
Ghostface
I could ask you the same. Don’t you know? The legacy characters are disposable now. No one cares about last century’s heroes.
GW Gale Weathers
Why bother with me at all?
Ghostface
Call it nostalgia. Or maybe you deserve to be punished for all that money you made off the misery of others. Maybe it’s time someone made a buck reporting your death.
GW Gale Weathers
You know you're, like, the tenth guy to try this, right? And spoiler alert, it never works out for the dipshit in a mask.
Ghostface
[Unknown to Gale, Ghostface grabs her boyfriend and pulls him away]
Oh, but they certainly leave a mark before they go, don’t they? Richie and Amber managed to butcher Dewey, carved him up like a Christmas goose. How does it feel to lose the only man who ever loved you?
GW Gale Weathers
[struggling to stay cool upon hearing Ghostface's words]
**** you!
Ghostface
How does it feel to know that you weren’t there for him at the end? Not there to give him comfort, ‘cause he died screaming in his own guts.
GW Gale Weathers
[tearful]
You're the one who's gonna die screaming.
Ghostface
Maybe, but you won’t be around to see it. You couldn’t stop what happened to Dewey, just like you’re not gonna be able to stop this.
GW Gale Weathers
[He reveals himself by throwing Gale's boyfriend's body through a shelf and destroying it. Ghostface chases Gale through the apartment, with Gale narrowly avoiding or fighting back against Ghostface's attacks, before locking herself in a room, grabbing a gun, and shooting at the locked door that Ghostface is struggling to open]
How's that for nostalgia, ****er?!
Ghostface
[Gale's phone rings, and she answers it]
You missed.
GW Gale Weathers
Sure I did.
Ghostface
[speaking quickly]
You win. I’m in the elevator, heading for the ground floor.
GW Gale Weathers
Sure you are. [Fires two shots]
Ghostface
[sounding wounded]
Maybe...you did hit me. Maybe I’m wounded. [Speaks normally] Or maybe I’m wearing a bulletproof vest.
GW Gale Weathers
That's why I'm gonna shoot you in the **** head!
Ghostface
[She opens the door and walks out of the room, but sees no sign of Ghostface]
You would’ve made a good killer, Gale. Sidney never would've made sense, and Dewey was the fan favorite. But you cracking under the pressure and turning into Ghostface would’ve been a great twist.
GW Gale Weathers
Keep talking, asshole.
Ghostface
[chuckles]
Sure. What do you want to talk about? You never got to be the leading lady, did you? It was always all about poor, sweet Sidney sucking up all the oxygen. Where did that leave you to be?
GW Gale Weathers
The brains and the sex appeal?
Ghostface
Sorry about your boyfriend. All those muscles didn’t help much.
GW Gale Weathers
They sure didn't. [Ghostface resumes chuckling] Can you hold, please?
Ghostface
[stops chuckling]
Huh?
[Gale presses the hold button, causing Ghostface's own phone to make a sound, exposing his hiding place]
Kirby
[At the theater, Sam and Tara are struggling to escape from two Ghostface killers, when Kirby Reed and Detective Wayne Bailey arrive with guns drawn]
It's okay!
Sam
Stay the **** back!
Tara
We know it's you, Kirby!
Kirby
But one of them knocked me out!
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
Kirby, stop! Get away from those girls!
Kirby
What are you doing here?
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
You killed Quinn? YOU KILLED MY DAUGHTER?!
Kirby
JESUS CHRIST! [to Sam] Whatever he is saying, don't trust him! He's probably the killer!
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
[One Ghostface charges towards Wayne, but as Kirby attempts to warn Wayne, he suddenly shoots Kirby, revealing himself to be the primary Ghostface] [to the Ghostface next to him]
Great job. [Another Ghostface walks in and stands next to Wayne, showing that there are three killers behind the murders] Both of you.
Tara Carpenter
You?
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
Yeah, of course, me. Frankly, I expected more from the two of you after what you did to us.
Tara Carpenter
What do you mean "us"?
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
[The Ghostface on the left takes off his mask, revealing himself to be Ethan. Wayne chuckles]
Ta-da.
E Ethan
Mindy was right. It was easy to juke the roommate lottery. I mean, all I had to do to meet you was room with a conceited, condescending alpha literally named Chad. ****, it felt good to kill him! [Shows his mask] This was your grandmother's, Sam. Nancy Loomis. Really runs in your **** family, doesn't it? Speaking of family...
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
Wait for it.
E Ethan
My name's not Ethan Landry. Isn't it, Dad?
Tara Carpenter
[Wayne laughs]
Dad?
SC Samantha Carpenter
Wait. If it's you two, that just leaves... [Looks at the Ghostface on the right] Mindy?
QB Quinn Bailey
[Ghostface takes off the mask to reveal herself as Quinn]
Hey, roomies. You didn't see that one coming, did you?
Tara Carpenter
Yeah, because you died!
QB Quinn Bailey
I kind of didn't, though...it was a good way to get off the suspect list. Stabbed Gale Weathers, stabbed Mindy on the train, that sort of thing.
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
Yep, and I just made sure I was first on the scene so I could switch her body out with a fresh one. Little fake blood, a prosthetic. You'd be amazed at what a grieving father can get away with.
QB Quinn Bailey
[Quinn and Ethan put their Ghostface masks back on their pedestals] [shows her mask]
I got Stu Macher's mask. He was my favorite.
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
That's number 3. That's two. This leaves... [Reveals his own Ghostface mask] ...your father's. This is what we've been counting down to, Sam. I'm gonna need you to put it on.
SC Samantha Carpenter
[annoyed and angered]
**** you!
E Ethan
[She throws the mask away, only for Ethan to slice her in the arm. Wayne laughs]
OOOHHH!
Tara Carpenter
You stay the **** away from her!
SC Samantha Carpenter
What is this? You did this as a family?
QB Quinn Bailey
Oh, yeah, bitch. You should know better than anyone.
E Ethan
They're still not getting it.
SC Samantha Carpenter
Look, I don't know what you believe, but I didn't commit those murders in Woodsboro! It wasn't me!
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
Oh, we know that. Of course you didn't. What do you think? This is based on some bullshit conspiracy theory? Come on. Who do you think started the rumors about you in the first place?
QB Quinn Bailey
[Quinn raises her hand, answering Wayne's question. Wayne snickers]
Do you know how easy it was to turn Sam from the hero of Woodsboro into the villain? How easy it is to convince the world to believe the worst in people rather than the best?
E Ethan
Because it's not enough to just kill someone these days. You have to assassinate their character first. So when Dad here "discovers" your horribly mutilated bodies posed with Sam wearing her father's mask, he'll say some poor, dumb bastard read on the Internet that you're the real Ghostface and took matters into their own deluded hands.
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
Exactly. That's why it's a perfect alibi. And all the best lies are based on the truth. And you're a killer, just like your father.
SC Samantha Carpenter
No, I'm not!
QB Quinn Bailey
Yes, you are, you mother****er! You killed our brother!
SC Samantha Carpenter
What are you talking about?
Tara Carpenter
You said your brother died in a car accident.
E Ethan
No, no, no, you sweet, dumb thing. He died in Woodsboro, at the hands of your bitch sister.
SC Samantha Carpenter
[Sam looks at all the Bailey family members and becomes stunned, realizing who they're talking about]
You're Richie's family.
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
[slowly gets angry as he nods]
Yeah.
E Ethan
[Ethan attacks Sam again, as she and Tara attempt to get away, before the family corners them again]
Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding! Now she's finally starting to get it!
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
[angry]
Now, it wasn't until I saw that photograph of what you've done to him that I knew, that I knew you had to **** die! You had to be punished, along with anyone else who stands in our way!
QB Quinn Bailey
[Samantha glares angrily at Quinn]
There she is. There's the **** killer.
Tara Carpenter
[to Wayne; sarcastically]
Real great parenting job, by the way.
QB Quinn Bailey
[angry]
Shut your whore-**** MOUTH! [Pushes Tara and Sam towards Wayne]
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
Have I been a perfect dad? No. Have I maybe overindulged Richie's love of these little movies? Maybe. For me, they're just a little dark. But...Richie really loved them. Loved them. He even made a few of his own. Did you know? [Stares mournfully at footage of Richie playing on a damaged theater screen] There's a very special bond between a father and his first son, which is why I helped him build this collection.
SC Samantha Carpenter
This was all his?
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
Yes. He's a very passionate collector. And he inspired others. We had to kill those two wannabe film students because, well, we had to kill you first, Sam. I put the theater in their name, then good old Detective Bailey would've just stumbled on it, but I didn't have to, because, by golly, that Gale Weathers is one hell of a journalist. I built a tribute to my son, which is why this is where you have to die, Sam, surrounded by all the things he loved the most.
SC Samantha Carpenter
What happens next? What? After you're done with us, what? You just disappear?
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
No. We gotta hurry over to the hospital and make sure Mindy and Gale don't pull through. [Angrily pulls out his gun] Because everybody dies, Sam! Everyone who had anything to do with the death of my son suffers and dies!
QB Quinn Bailey
**** yeah, they do!
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
Now put on the mask!
SC Samantha Carpenter
[suddenly gets an idea]
He was...so pathetic.
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
[realizing who Sam is talking about and gets offended]
That's not true.
SC Samantha Carpenter
Yeah, your son. He was a manbaby who made his girlfriend do all the killing.
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
[in denial]
He was a strong, virile young man!
SC Samantha Carpenter
He was a limp-dick little **** who cried before I slit his throat.
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
[shocked and angered]
What?!
QB Quinn Bailey
[enraged]
SHUT THE **** UP!!
E Ethan
[She viciously attempts to attack, only for Tara to attack first by bashing Quinn on the head with a brick she was holding, then Kirby regains consciousness and shoots Wayne as he tries to dodge, allowing Sam and Tara to get away. Ethan ambushes Kirby]
Recognize this?
Kirby
**** YOU!
SC Samantha Carpenter
[Ethan stabs Kirby much like what Charlie did to her last time, but is stopped by Sam, who pushes him away]
Sorry, but I kinda need this. [Plunges the knife off of Kirby's stomach]
Kirby
**** 'em up!
E Ethan
What are you gonna do about it, bitch?
[To Ethan's surprise, Sam stabs him multiple times]
Tara
[During the final fight, Tara manages to stab Ethan in the mouth. Quinn, who was about to kill Sam, becomes horrified at her brother's predicament, while Sam, holding a gun, smiles tauntingly at Quinn. Tara then twists the knife through Ethan's mouth as Ethan groans helplessly and painfully]
Now die a **** virgin! [Removes the knife from Ethan's mouth and cries at peace as Ethan falls to the ground]
S Samantha
[taunting a stunned Quinn]
Looks like you're down another brother. [Quinn becomes enraged and desperately tries to charge at Sam, only for Sam to fire her gun and fatally shoot Quinn in the head as Detective Bailey looks on in horror] Always gotta shoot them in the head. [Tries to fire one more bullet on Bailey, but the gun is empty] Oh, ****!
[Sam drops the gun and charges at Detective Bailey, who, having lost all of his children, loses his composure and charges at her as well. They tackle each other, slip off the railing, and crash onto the ground. When Bailey wakes up, he finds himself all alone in the room. As he desperately searches for Sam and Tara, his phone suddenly rings, and when he answers it, Ghostface's voice is heard speaking to him]
Ghostface
Hello, Detective Bailey. I’ve got one question for you.
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
Oh, yeah? What's that?
Ghostface
What’s your favorite scary movie?
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
[chuckles]
"Favorite scary movie."
Ghostface
I’m asking, because you’re in one now. You’re in my movie.
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
[Wayne enters the room where the Ghostface costumes are and starts shooting his gun, trying to find and kill Sam. He notices one Ghostface costume is missing]
I see you've put on your true face, huh? Your birthright. Poetic that you're gonna die in it.
Ghostface
This is what you wanted, isn’t it?
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
[Wayne fires his gun again, but still doesn't find Sam. He starts to get angry and anxious]
Now you know the truth, huh? Murder's in your blood! Stop **** around and SHOW YOURSELF!
Ghostface
Be careful what you wish for.
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
I'm a **** police officer! How do you think this is going to go, Sam? Who do you think they're gonna believe, huh?!
Ghostface
Probably the one who’s still alive.
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
[Angered at those words, Wayne drops the phone in a rage, failing to realize that Ghostface is right behind him and about to attack. When he turns around and sees Ghostface, he instantly loses his nerve and becomes scared]
No! NO!!
S Samantha
[Ghostface immediately stabs Wayne multiple times, while Wayne screams in pain and horror. As a seriously wounded Wayne falls on his knees, Ghostface takes off his mask, revealing herself as Samantha, who is about to continue stabbing Wayne until Tara comes in and stands next to her]
My father was a murderer. No matter what you think, I'm better than that.
DW Detective Wayne Bailey
[becomes relieved, thinking that Sam is gonna spare him]
Thank you. Thank you.
S Samantha
[Samantha and Tara look at each other, then Samantha glares at Wayne again]
But you did **** with our family, so...
[Samantha stabs Wayne through the eye, and Wayne lets out one final scream of pain before collapsing to the ground and dying]
JC Jason Carvey
[Jason is back in his apartment, having killed Laura Crane. His cell phone rings, and Jason answers it, believing it's his friend, Greg]
I'm sorry, okay? I just got massive blue balls, and I had to practice. Please don't be mad. How mad are you?
Ghostface
Oh...I'm not mad, Jason.
JC Jason Carvey
Dude, you said we wouldn't use the voice on each other.
Ghostface
We said a lot of things.
JC Jason Carvey
This is...Greg, right?
Ghostface
[chuckles]
Who else would it be?
JC Jason Carvey
Where are you? I want to tell you about it. Oh, by the way, we should go to that frat party. Tara's going.
Ghostface
What was it like?
JC Jason Carvey
Not on the phone, man. And, seriously, turn off the **** voice modulator.
Ghostface
I'm just trying to get the voice right. You got to have your practice, I get mine.
JC Jason Carvey
Whatever.
Ghostface
Just tell me what it felt like. Then maybe I'll come out.
JC Jason Carvey
Dude, I know you're not here.
Ghostface
Humor me.
JC Jason Carvey
All right, fine. [chuckles] It was even better than we ever could've imagined. When the knife went in here, it's like she wasn't human anymore, just an animal. And every time it went in, she was...less and less human. And then, she was...just meat.
Ghostface
But she wasn't just meat, Jason. She was a person, our film professor.
JC Jason Carvey
Yeah, well...**** her. She gave me a C-minus on my Giallo paper.
Ghostface
Is that why you killed her? Because of the C-minus? Who's next here? The grade school vice principal?
JC Jason Carvey
You know who's next. Why are you being like this?
Ghostface
Come on, Jason. How long have we known each other?
JC Jason Carvey
You tell me.
Ghostface
Eight years. We met in Junior High, in Atlanta. I just want you to tell me why you think you're doing this, in your words.
JC Jason Carvey
We're finishing Richie's film.
Ghostface
That's right. By killing Sam and Tara.
JC Jason Carvey
Why are you **** with me? Why won't you tell me where you are?
Ghostface
Why do you keep asking me that? I already told you. I'm here. [beat] Let's play a game. Do you know Warm or Colder? Come on. Find me, and then we'll go and cut up the Carpenter sisters.
JC Jason Carvey
[Jason notices the apartment's cameras are switched on]
Are you using the **** cameras? [flips the bird at a camera]
Ghostface
Yeah, the cameras. And at that moment, you're very, very cold.
JC Jason Carvey
All right, douchebag. Let's play.
Ghostface
[Jason walks around the apartment, looking for Greg. He approaches Greg's bedroom]
Cold. [Jason walks away from the bedroom] Heating up. [Jason approaches a closet] Warmer. Warmer.
JC Jason Carvey
[Jason opens the closet; it is empty]
All right, you know what? This is stupid. I'm gonna hang up now.
Ghostface
But you're getting warmer. [Jason approaches the kitchen, and starts to walk away from it] Colder. [Jason notices the fridge and slowly starts walking towards it] Warmer. Warmer. [Jason prepares to open the fridge] You're on fire!
JC Jason Carvey
[Jason opens the fridge, discovering pieces of Greg's body inside, to his horror] [shocked]
****!
Ghostface
[Ghostface suddenly appears and stabs him in the back of his arm. Jason turns around to face Ghostface, who grabs him]
Do you feel like an animal, Jason? [Stabs him multiple times in the stomach] Like meat?
JC Jason Carvey
[falls to his knees]
But...we have to finish the movie.
Ghostface
Who gives a **** about movies?! [Stabs Jason one more time, killing him]