Rosencrantz Half of what he said meant something else, and the other half didn't mean anything at all.
2nd most-quoted character in Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead (1991): in 18 of its 48 quotes
Most scenes with: Guildenstern (11)
A man talking sense to himself is no madder than a man talking nonsense not to himself.
Or just as mad.
Or just as mad.
And he does both.
So there you are.
Stark raving sane.
More lines from Rosencrantz
7 quotes Rosencrantz Rosencrantz Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end?
Rosencrantz Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance, at least. You could lie there thinking, "Well. At least I'm not dead."
Rosencrantz Whatever became of the moment when one first knew about death? There must have been one. A moment. In childhood. When it first occurred to you that you don't go on forever. Must have been shattering, stamped into one's memory. And yet, I can't remember it. It never occurred to me at all. We must be born with an intuition of mortality. Before we know the word for it. Before we know that there are words. Out we come, bloodied and squalling, with the knowledge that for all the points of the compass, there's only one direction, and time is its only measure.
Rosencrantz We drift down time, clutching at straws. But what good's a brick to a drowning man?
Rosencrantz Be happy – if you're not even happy, what's so good about surviving? We'll be all right. I suppose we just go on.
Rosencrantz To sum up: your father, whom you love, dies, you are his heir, you come back to find that hardly was the corpse cold before his young brother popped onto his throne and into his sheets, thereby offending both legal and natural practice. Now why exactly are you behaving in this extraordinary manner?
Scenes with Rosencrantz
10 scenes
Is that you?
Rosencrantz I don't know.
Guildenstern (disgusted): It's you.
Rosencrantz Shouldn't we be doing something – constructive?
What did you have in mind? … A short, blunt human pyramid …?
What's the first thing you remember?
Rosencrantz Oh, let's see. … The first thing that comes into my head, you mean?
No – the first thing you remember.
Rosencrantz Ah. … No, it's no good. It's gone. It was a long time ago.
No, you don't take my meaning. What's the first thing you remember after all the things you've forgotten?
Rosencrantz Oh, I see … I've forgotten the question.
Rosencrantz?
Rosencrantz What?
Guildenstern?
Rosencrantz What?
Don't you discriminate at all?!
What a shambles! We're just not getting anywhere.
Rosencrantz Not even England. I don't believe in it anyway.
What?
Rosencrantz England.
Just a conspiracy of cartographers, you mean?
The old man thinks he's in love with his daughter.
Rosencrantz Good God. We're out of our depths here.
No, no, no! He hasn't got a daughter! The old man thinks he's in love with his daughter.
Rosencrantz The old man is?
Hamlet … in love … with the old man's daughter … the old man … thinks.
Rosencrantz Do you think Death could possibly be a boat?
No, no, no … death is not. Death isn't. Take my meaning? Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being. You can't not be on a boat.
Rosencrantz I've frequently not been on boats.
No, no … what you've been is not on boats.
Rosencrantz Did you ever think of yourself as actually dead, lying in a box with a lid on it?
No.
Rosencrantz Nor do I, really. It's silly to be depressed by it. I mean, one thinks of it like being alive in a box. One keeps forgetting to take into account the fact that one is dead, which should make all the difference, shouldn't it? I mean, you'd never know you were in a box, would you? It would be just like you were asleep in a box. Not that I'd like to sleep in a box, mind you. Not without any air. You'd wake up dead, for a start, and then where would you be? In a box. That's the bit I don't like, frankly. That's why I don't think of it. Because you'd be helpless, wouldn't you? Stuffed in a box like that. I mean, you'd be in there forever, even taking into account the fact that you're dead. It isn't a pleasant thought. Especially if you're dead, really. Ask yourself, if I asked you straight off, "I'm going to stuff you in this box. Now, would you rather be alive or dead?" Naturally, you'd prefer to be alive. Life in a box is better than no life at all, I expect. You'd have a chance, at least. You could lie there thinking, "Well. At least I'm not dead. In a minute somebody is going to bang on the lid, and tell me to come out." [bangs on lid] "Hey, you! What's your name? Come out of there!"
A man, breaking his journey between one place and another, at a third place of no name, character, population, or significance sees a unicorn cross his path and disappear. That in itself is startling, but there are precedents for this sort of mystical encounter, or rather, a choice of persuasions to put it down to fancy, until – "My god!" shouts a second man, "I must be dreaming! I thought I just saw a unicorn!" At which point a dimension is added which makes the experience as alarming as it will ever be. A third witness, you understand, adds no new dimension, only spreads it thinner, and a fourth thinner still, and the more witnesses there are, the thinner it spreads and the more reasonable it becomes until it is as thin as reality – the name we give to the common experience. "Look! Look!" recites the crowd. "A horse, with an arrow in its forehead! It must have been mistaken for a deer!"
Rosencrantz I knew all along it was a band.
He knew all along it was a band.
Rosencrantz And here they come!
I'm sorry it wasn't a unicorn. It would have been nice to have unicorns.
The law of probabilities states that if six monkeys were … if six monkeys were …
Rosencrantz Game?
Were they?
Rosencrantz Are you?
Game. The law of probabilities states that if six monkeys were thrown up in the air for long enough, they would land on their tails about as often as they would land on their …
Rosencrantz Heads.
Which even at first glance doesn't strike one as a particularly rewarding speculation in either sense … even without the monkeys. I mean, you wouldn't bet on it. I mean, I would, but you wouldn't.
