I thought you said if we destroyed the brain, it'd die!
It worked in the movie!
Well, it ain't working now, Frank!
You mean the movie lied?
Burt Wilson
Clu Gulager · 6 quotes
Ernie Kaltenbrunner
Don Calfa · 4 quotes
Frank
James Karen · 3 quotes
Freddy
Thom Mathews · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Burt Wilson & Ernie Kaltenbrunner (3), Burt Wilson & Frank (2), Freddy & Frank (2)
The Return of the Living Dead quotes
What about the bones Ernie?
Bones are no problem. Hardest thing to burn is the heart.
A heart, why?
'cause it's just one big tough muscle.
Yeah, but Ernie, I mean, c'mon, we don't want the heart sticking around!
Then I'll turn it up hotter for the heart.
You did what? You opened it? You stupid moron! You idiot! What's the matter with you Frank? Haven't I already told you never to even go near those goddamn tanks?
What are we gonna do, Burt?
I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to be sued by the Darrow Chemical Company. I might even be investigated by the government. I might become very famous. I might even lose my business. I might even go to jail, goddamn it! That's what I'm going to do!
Casey
Chuck, I never did like you. Oh, but God, hold me tight.
Burt...that favor you owe me?
Yeah.
Watch your ass out there.
[to Tina]
Gee... And now you made me hurt myself again! You made me break my hand completely off this time Tina! But I don't care Darlin', because I love you, and you've got to let me EAT YOUR BRAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINS! WHERE ARE YOU!
What's the weirdest thing you ever saw in here?
Oh, kid, I have seen weird things come and I have seen weird things go. But the weirdest thing I ever saw just had to cap it all.
Oh, yeah? What's that?
Let me ask you a question, kid. Did you see that movie, Night of the Living Dead?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the one where the corpses start eating the people, right? Sure. Wh-what about it?
Did you know that movie was based on a true case?
Come on, you're shitting me, right?
I've never been more serious in my life.
That's not possible. I mean, they showed zombies taking over the world.
They changed it all around. What really happened was back in 1969, in Pittsburgh, at the V.A. hospital, there was a chemical spill and all that stuff kinda leaked down into the morgue and it made all the dead bodies kinda jump around as though it was alive.
What chemical?
2-4-5 Trioxin, it's called. It was to kinda spray on marijuana or something. And the Darrow Chemical Company was trying to develop it for the Army. And they told the guy who made the movie that if he told the true story, they'd just sue his ass off. So he changed all the facts around.
So what really happened?
Well, they closed it all down, see, and the Army shipped all that contaminated dirt and all those dead bodies out. And they kept it a secret.
So how come you know about it?
A typical Army **** up. The Transportation Department got the orders crossed, and they shipped those bodies here instead of to the Darrow Chemical Company.
Spider
Man, look, how can we kill those things?
You don't.
Spider
Da **** you mean, "You don't"?
Burt.
You can't kill those mothers, they're already dead. You gotta understand they're not living creatures, they're animated. I mean, you can chop them up into pieces, the pieces would still come after you.
Spider
Oh, ****!
All you can do is just burn'em. You got to totally reduce them to ashes, so there's nothing left to come after you.
Spider
Man, there's a hundred of those ****ers!
Yeah, that is the question.
Suicide
Nobody understands me, you know that? I ****in' bust my ass for you guys, and what do I get? "You're spooky." **** you, man. **** you all.
Trash
I like it spooky.
Suicide
I got somethin' to say, you know? What do you think this is all about? You think this is a ****in' costume? This is a way of life!
Trash
[sidling up to him]
Yes!
Suicide
What's wrong with you, man? Show some ****in' respect for the dead, will ya?
Trash
Do you ever wonder about all the different ways of dying? You know, violently? And wonder, like, what would be the most horrible way to die?
Spider
I try not too think about dying too much.
Trash
Mm. Well for me, the worst way would be for a bunch of old men to get around me, and start biting and eating me alive.
Spider
I see.
Trash
First, they would tear off my clothes...
Chuck
Hey, somebody get some light over here, Trash is taking off her clothes again.
[Ernie has restrained a zombie onto a mortuary table in order to talk to it]
You can hear me?
1/2 Woman Corpse
Yes.
Why do you eat people?
1/2 Woman Corpse
Not people. Brains.
Brains only?
1/2 Woman Corpse
Yes.
Why?
1/2 Woman Corpse
The PAIN!
What about the pain?
1/2 Woman Corpse
The pain of being DEAD!
1/2 Woman Corpse
I can feel myself rot.
Eating brains... How does that make you feel?
1/2 Woman Corpse
It makes the pain, go away!
[on the phone with the police]
Listen, there's a bunch of people from the cemetery who are stark, staring, mad, and they'll kill you and eat you if they catch you. It's like a disease. It's like rabies, only faster, a lot faster. That's why you've got to come and get us out of here now... right now!