B Mrs. Benchley
[first lines of the film] [first line of the film; reading]
"So they set off up the hill, arm in arm, the knight, the dragon, and the boy. The lights in the little village began to go out one by one." [is interrupted by a toy rifle going off] "But there were stars and a late moon as they climbed the downs together." [toy rifle again] Robert, please.
Robert Benchley [The scene pan to Robert Benchley lying on a raft in the pool, with the toy rifle]
Go on, I can hear in any position. [shoots a dart at a duck decoy in the pool]
B Mrs. Benchley
[continues reading]
"And as they turned the last corner and disappeared from view, snatches of an old song were borne back on the night breeze. I can't be certain which of them was singing, but I think it was the dragon."
Robert Benchley Go on, I'm listening.
B Mrs. Benchley
That was the end, and a very lovely end, too.
Robert Benchley Yeah, charming, charming. It's funny. No matter which way I aim, I always hit the same duck.
B Mrs. Benchley
Robert, I have a wonderful idea. We'll sell this book to Walt Disney.
Robert Benchley Well, you can't. It belongs to your nephew. [looks at rifle] So does this, too. I wonder what he'd take for it.
B Mrs. Benchley
I mean the idea, for a movie. I'm sure if you went to his studio and suggested it to him, he'd jump at it.
Robert Benchley Me suggest a story to Walt Disney? Why, I hardly know him.
B Mrs. Benchley
Well, you hardly knew me when you suggested marriage.
Robert Benchley Yeah, look at the trouble I got into. He can't listen to every crackpot with a wild idea.
B Mrs. Benchley
You might be the exception. All you would have to do would be to go to his studio and show him the book.
Robert Benchley I wouldn't dream of it!
B Mrs. Benchley
They're always open to new ideas. Get your things on, and stop shilly-shallying.
Robert Benchley [stands up on raft]
I am not shillying and I am not shallying. But once and for all, I will not go to the studio. I will not make myself look ridiculous. [falls through and bubbles come out of his mouth] And that's final.
Doris [holding up a cel of Bambi in front of her]
Like it?
Robert Benchley I'd be all right if you could get that reindeer out of the way.
Doris I'll see if I can scare up the background that goes with it.
Robert Benchley Nothing wrong with the one I just saw.
Doris [A man hands her a painting]
Thanks. This is his background. He fits right on top of it, like this. There.
Robert Benchley And very cunning, too. I'd like to take him home with me.
Robert Benchley [Bambi suddenly comes to life and hides behind a rock in the background]
What do you know? He took me seriously.
Robert Benchley [Benchley is watching a camera man shooting cels of Donald Duck]
Yeah, but he still doesn't move.
DD Donald Duck
Just a minute, big boy. Give me time, give me time!
DD Donald Duck
[Benchley laughs in astonishment]
Look, I'll show ya. I'll show ya. Now look. First my foot is up here, see?
Robert Benchley Uh-huh.
DD Donald Duck
Then, it's down here, understand?
Robert Benchley Now I get it.
DD Donald Duck
Like this...
Robert Benchley Yeah.
DD Donald Duck
And this...
Robert Benchley I see.
DD Donald Duck
And that. See?
Robert Benchley Sure.
DD Donald Duck
When I do it faster, I'm walking. Get it?
Robert Benchley Yeah, certainly.
B Mrs. Benchley
[last lines of the film]
So while you were shilly-shallying, they made the picture. I never knew it to fail. In all the years that I've known you, you've always been too late. Really, Robert, I can't understand why you're forever letting these opportunities slip through your fingers. Anyone would've thought of it in time, months ago. But you... [sighs]
B Mrs. Benchley
Well, why don't you say something?
Robert Benchley [last line of the film; as Donald Duck]
Aw, phooey! [quacking furiously] Phooey!
