Know-It-All
Wow, look at all those presents. I want all of them.
3rd most-quoted character in The Polar Express (2004): in 15 of its 75 quotes
Most scenes with: Conductor (5), Hero Boy (5), Hero Girl (5)
You know, Montezuma, the king of the Aztecs would drink 50 quarts of hot chocolate every day. It was thick as mud and red. He put chili pepper in instead of sugar. Get it? Hot chocolate?
More lines from Know-It-All
4 quotes
Know-It-All
Boy that guy sure likes to show off with his ticket punch. Look what that wise guy punched on my ticket. “L-E” What the heck does that mean?
Know-It-All
Hey, you missed it. We rode down some really sharp hills. And then we were on what looked like a frozen lake. But I know it was just an optical illusion caused by moonlight and atmosphere.
Know-It-All
'm checking on my Christmas presents. I wanna make sure 'm getting everything on my list. All I found was one present. And all it had was a bunch of stupid underwear.
Scenes with Know-It-All
10 scenes
Know-It-All
Do you know what kind of train this is?
Of Course. It's a magic train.
Know-It-All
I know it's a magic train. Actually, it's a Baldwin 2-8-4 S3-class steam locomotive built in 1931 at the Baldwin Locomotive Works. It weighs 456,100 pounds and...
Who in the blazes applied that emergency brake?!
Know-It-All
[Pointing at the Hero Boy]
He did.
I don't think we're supposed to leave our seats.
Know-It-All
Yeah, it's a violation of railroad safety regulations for a kid to cross moving cars without a grown-up.
I think 'll be okay.
Well, the wind blew it out of my hand. (Shows hero girl his ticket) You can have my ticket!
(Shocks himself)
These tickets are not transferable! (Gives back the hero boy his ticket) Young lady, you're just gonna have to come along with me!
Know-It-All
You know what's gonna happen now? He's gonna throw her off the train. He's gonna probably throw her right off the rear platform. It's standard procedure. That way, she won't get sucked down under the wheels. They may slow the train down a little bit, but they're never gonna stop it.
Stop it? That's it! I have to stop the train again.
Know-It-All
No, please, don't do that again.
It's five minutes to midnight.
Know-It-All
Hey, what gives? It was five minutes 'till midnight four minutes ago.
Exactly.
Elf
nobody gets hurt, here's how we're gonna get you guys down.
Know-It-All
This is simple. Why, I know...
Elf
What do you know? You're not supposed to be here in the first place. But since it's Christmas, 'm gonna let you slide.
Know-It-All
"Lean." Whatever that's supposed to mean.
"Lean" is spelled with four letters. I believe I punched five.
Know-It-All
Hey, are you saying I don't know how to...? Oh, 'm sorry. It says "learn." My mistake.
Lesson learned.
Know-It-All
Hey! Hey, you. Yeah, you! Do you know what kind of train this is?
Huh?
Know-It-All
Train, do you know what kind of train this is? Well, do you?
Uh...
Of course! It's a magic train. We're going to the North Pole.
Know-It-All
Ah, I know it's a magic train. Actually, it's a Baldwin 2-8-4 S-3 class Berkshire type steam locomotive, built in 1931 at the Baldwin Locomotive Works. It weighs 456,100 pounds and has a tractive force of 83,450 pounds. Its top speed is--
Mm-hmm.
Know-It-All
Hey, look, everybody!
Isn't that wonderful?
Know-It-All
Herpolsheimer's! Herpolsheimer's! [the Polar Express went slowly past the Herpolsheimer's store outside] Wow, look at all those presents! I want ALL of 'em!
It's so Christmassy, cozy and beautiful.
[The carol "Good King Wenceslas" plays inside the shop, and an animatronic Santa is placing presents in a display]
[After the train arrives at the North Pole and stops in front of the giant tree in the city's center...] [organizing the children and lining them up]
Alright. Alright, ladies and gentlemen. 2 columns, please. Shorter in the front, taller in the rear. Even-numbered birthdays on the right, odd-numbered on the left. No pushing. No pushing. But let's not dilly-dally, it's 5 minutes to midnight.
Know-It-All
Hey, what gives? It was 5 minutes until midnight 4 minutes ago.
Exactly! Columns of 2! [counts the children] 1, 2.
Question.
[looks at Billy inside, thinking that Billy can choose to see Santa or not]
No one is required to see Santa. [to the children] Ladies and gentlemen, you do not have to hold hands...
[Hero Boy and Hero Girl climb aboard the observation car, but unbeknownst to them, Hero Boy accidentally steps on a lever which uncouples the car. Inside...] [to Billy]
Look, you have to come with us.
[feeling depressed and left out and thinking Christmas is not important to him]
Christmas just doesn't work out for me. It never has.
But Christmas is such a wonderful and beautiful time. It's a time for giving and being thankful, for friends and family. People hang decorations and lights. And then Santa comes and leaves presents under our Christmas trees.
[sighs]
Look, I don't know if Christmas is gonna work out for you or not, but this is Christmas Eve. Don't stay here by yourself.
Yes, come with us. We'll go together.
[Billy then decides to come with the two and have the chance to meet Santa. But just then, the observation car jerked and started to roll backwards, and its lights go out. It was uncoupled from the train. The three go to the platform at the back and feared what would happen next.] [assuring]
We're gonna be okay. [They get diverted onto another track downhill.] MAYBE NOOOOOOOTT!! [gasps] The emergency brake. The emergency brake! [hurries to the front of the car] There's no brake! I CAN'T FIND THE BRAKE!!
[materializes next to the manual brake]
Take a break, kid! How 'bout a nice, good hot cup of Joe?
Give me your other hand. Give me your other hand!
I can't!
On 3! 1, 2, 3! [they yank Billy up, but he is still stuck] Look! [sees a hand grabbing Billy's foot]
It's still got me!
On 3 again! 1, 2, 3! [they yank Billy up again, and the person grabbing onto Billy is revealed to be the Know-It-All; shocked yet sternly] You!
Know-It-All
[feigning shock]
You?!
What are you doing here?!
Know-It-All
Same as you, I'm checking out my Christmas presents. I wanna make sure I'm getting everything on my list. All I found was one present, and all it had was a bunch of stupid underwear!