Sam quotes from The Peanut Butter Falcon (2019)

First thing you do is, you're gonna kind of just, like, you're gonna feel out, you know, just how big the ring is. you just go, you know, kind of check out, you know, what your space is, where you're gonna be moving around. All right, one of the fundamentals now is when you go to hit a guy with an elbow. You got to hit a guy with an elbow, but you also gotta do a foot stomp. [Zak mimics] Yeah, but kind of pop your head too. Just gives it more energy. Yea. Okay, that's good. Um, was there anything special in the video that you want me to teach you?

Zak

Uh, will you please show me the Atomic Throw? [Sam chuckles derisively]

Ah. Yeah, the Atomic Throw. Honestly, Zak, we just made that up. You know, it was smoke and mirrors. It was just a camera on my face. And then it looked like I was holding the guy up over my head, and then we'd cut to a guy getting thrown out of the ring. It's not possible to do. But I can show you a lot of other cool stuff. What do you think, Sam?

Sam

Might try to do a collar and elbow lockup. There you go, lockup. All right, now, what you do, you come in and boom, right there, boom. You know, boom, boom. But when you come in to do it, you got really, really, really slam... yeah. Yeah. Growl all you want, see? Then we kind of... now we move around a little bit, like this. You don't know what I'm going to do...

Eleanor

What are you going to do?

Tyler

What do you mean?

Eleanor

I mean, what are you going to do after all this is over?

Tyler

Well, I'm going to settle my debts with Duncan. Imma go up to Jupiter, Florida. Town called Jupiter up there is a small fishing town. It's on the Indian River and it opens up to this big estuary. It's the biggest estuary in America. I'm gonna get a boat and I'm gonna just live a good life. Run charters and take people sport fishing.

Eleanor

Hmm.

Tyler

You ever been to Florida?

Eleanor

Hmm-mm.

Tyler

No? You want to go?

Eleanor

to Florida?

Tyler

Yeah.

You know, certain things, it take years to learn. Like how to fall without hurting yourself. But then that stuff just comes with time. As you don't do the same move-

Sam

It takes time.

Yeah, it takes time, but as long as you don't do the same move in the same bout, you're good to go. You look real.

Zak

Oh, yeah, and I'm totally ready to do this.

You want to fight for real?

Zak

Yeah. For real-match.

For real?

Zak

Yeah.

You want to do a match?

Zak

Oh. Oh, yeah, seriously. Yeah. I love it.

That's great.

Sam

I don't think he's ready.

Oh, lookit, he can't be out here practicing all the time. He did great today. We can set that up. I mean, there's a card in Jacob's backyard tomorrow. I mean, you're fighting on that card.

Sam

Yeah.

Okay. Y'all two can fight.

Tyler

Hey! That's outstanding! A real match! [Pats Zak's shoulders] You want to fight Samson?

Zak

Hell, yeah.

Sam

Good.

Zak

Yes, I do. Tomorrow.

Tyler

Oh, man! Yeah, take on Sam.

Zak

Yo, um, please, don't mess with the Peanut Butter Falcon.

Peanut Butter Falcon in the house.

Eleanor

I see a problem here. Seems a bit soon.

Sam

He's great! Really!

Yeah! I'm going to be there! He's going to take care of him. It'll be like dancing.

Sam

Oh, yeah.

Sam? Really?

Sam

Yeah.

Oh, come on, man. He's in, he's in. He's grumpy. He's in. Just let him lead, huh? All right, yeah.

Tyler

I understand why you took me out of here, but there ain't no reason to be scared. We're talking about two different matches. You're talking about a hardcore match which was what you just sat through, and then Zak's gonna be doing, which ain't gonna be the same match.

Eleanor

No.

Tyler

He's going to do a couple moves, he's going to lay down, it's going to be simple, and that's going to be that. Zak's gonna win and we go home.

Eleanor

Tyler, they don't care about him.

Tyler

I care about him.

Eleanor

I know. We care about him. They don't.
Referee: Well, that was going to be the case but then, at the very last moment, an old friend stopped by.

Who?! Who was it?!
Referee: The Salt Water Redneck. The Salt Water Redneck stopped by and brought with him tonight a protégé.

Tyler

Okay.

Eleanor

Okay?

Tyler

Yeah. [Leans in and passionately kisses Eleanor] You want popcorn?

Eleanor

Tyler, oh my god. Tyler, what the... [Realises that Tyler tricked her in handcuffing her to the steering wheel]

Tyler

I'll get you popcorn.

Eleanor

Are you kidding me?!

Tyler

You're good.

Eleanor

Oh, my god!

Tyler

Nobody's gonna die today. I'll be right back.
Referee: May I present to you... the Peanut Butter Falcon! [Tyler bangs on door] Let's go! Let's go! [Zak comes out dressed as a falcon]

Tyler

Hey! Whoo! [All spectators silently stare unimpressed]

He's wearing a freaking cardboard box.

Tyler

Falcon time! Here we go, here we go. Fly around baby! Fly around baby! Whoo! [Zak starts slapping hands of front row spectators] The Falcon! Falcon! [Spectators start cheering] Whoo!

All right, Zak!

Peanut Butter Falcon!
Referee: Who's ready for some wrestling?!

Whoo!

Tyler

Come on Zak! [Zak faces Sam who puts hands on top of Zak who immediately falls over into a corner]

Zak, say something!

Sam

What do you think about that, huh?! I've been doing this for 38 years, and guess what?! This isn't Make-A-Wish Foundation!

Tyler

Kick out, Zak! Kick out that leg! Legs! Kick out! There you go, there you go. Get up, get up! Recover!

Sam

Oh, son! You messed up! [Zak wraps arms around Sam's waist] You want to play some more?! [Sam pounds Zak's back sending falling down]

Tyler

Get up, Zak, get up!

Samson.

Sam

The Peanut Butter Falcon?! Are you ser- How bout Tweety Bird? That's more like it! Tweety Bird!

Tyler

Get up. Get up bud. Fight!

Sam

You want to play some more? You know, I've never had enough of you. [Knocks down Zak with a running finisher]

Samson! We had an agreement!

Sam

Don't come to me and expect favors! [Picks up Zak and throws him down]

Bullshit.

Tyler

Get up. Get up, Zak.

Sam

What else you want? You stupid little punk. You're going down. ****, get up, man. Get your stinking ass out of the ring, man. [Zak rolls around in pain]

Eleanor

Oh, my god.

Tyler

Hey, hey, hey. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Hey, hey, look at me. Let me know, do you want to do this anymore? [Does double thumbs up with Zak doing a thumbs up] Then get up now!
Referee: Listen up, Sam. You're a piece of shit.

Say something, Zak.

Tyler

Come on, Zak! Come on, Zak! Come on! [Samson gives referee the finger in the style of a Jack-in-the-box]

Zak

Excuse me Samson!

Sam

What?!

Zak

You are not invited to my birthday!

Tyler

Go, Zak! Go, Zak! Run! Run! [Zak wraps arms around Sam's waist] Yeah! Go underneath! Up! Up! [Zak picks up Samson entirely starts walking to the ring edge with Duncan and Ratboy arriving with Eleanor in pursuit, Ratboy stares in awe when Zak throws Sam out of the ring, Duncan strikes Tyler's head with a tire iron]