General Li Shang
[General Li Shang rubbing the back of his head and peeking his head in Fa Mulan's room]
Mulan? Seems your grandma invited someone to help us celebrate the engagement.
FM Fa Mulan
[making a face]
Really?...Who?
General Li Shang
[both looking outside at a whole crowd of people in Fa Mulan's front yard]
China.
C Crowd
CONGRATULATIONS! [cheers and applause]
GF Grandmother Fa
Isn't it wonderful? Sorry, it's sort of slapdash. Took us by surprise, you know. [Fa Mulan and General Li Shang laugh] Make way for the happy couple.
General Li Shang
[They bows to them]
Now this is a battlefield.
M Mulan
What's our strategy, General?
General Li Shang
Divide and conquer.
[They both start to laugh again]
WI Woman in Crowd 1
[after the people of China who being asked them who would if their wedding is going to be big celebration]
So tell me, will it be a big wedding?
General Li Shang
Oh ho, no! Absolutely not.
WI Woman in Crowd 2
Children?
General Li Shang
As many as possible.
FM Fa Mulan
Maybe one or two.
General Li Shang
We'll think about it.
General Li Shang
Blue.
General Li Shang
Mild.
General Li Shang
Yes!
FL Fa Li
Oh, dear. Did you hear that?
FZ Fa Zhou
Not exactly a harmonious couple, are they?
FL Fa Li
What should we do?
FZ Fa Zhou
Perhaps we should give our gift to the children now.
General Li Shang
[to the Emperor]
This mission does not call for force, but finesse. I know just the men.
FM Fa Mulan
China's most honored and noble soldiers.
M Matchmaker
[In the next shot, Ling, Chien-Po, and Yao, stumble clumsily out the front steps of the Matchmaker's house]
AND STAY OUT! I've found wives for HUNDREDS of men, but the Golden Dragon of Unity himself COULDN'T make love matches for YOU three! COME BACK WHEN YOU GET PERSONALITIES!
L Ling
Well, that's a fine way to treat China's greatest heroes. [Matchmaker throws the pot on his face]
FM Fa Mulan
Well, then, maybe we should just forget the map and wing it.
General Li Shang
We can't wing it. We need a new plan. We have three days. What if we get lost?
FM Fa Mulan
Then we pull over and ask directions.
General Li Shang
We don't need to pull over and ask directions. We have a map.
FM Fa Mulan
What is it with men and asking directions?
General Li Shang
What is it with women and maps?!
FM Fa Mulan
Shang, I'm sorry. You're in charge of the mission.
General Li Shang
No, I'm the one who should be sorry. A good leader is opened up to new ideas. Forgive me?
FM Fa Mulan
[takes his hand and smiles]
Ah, there's nothing to forgive.
Mushu
[doing a perfect voice imitation of Fa Mulan on a dummy outside General Li Shang's tent]
General Shang? General Hardhead, that's what they should call him! Everything's got to have a strategy!
General Li Shang
[barely awake]
Mulan?
Mushu
[still sounding like Fa Mulan]
The man won't brush his teeth without a backup plan!
General Li Shang
[awakening slightly]
Huh?
Mushu
[still imitating]
I blame myself. I fell for those broad shoulders. I didn't realize there wasn't much sittin' on top of 'em! [the dummy's head falls off accidently, then he gasps as he places it back on] Oh, except for that garlic breath... [no longer imitating] Ooh-whee! That boy can peel paint! Oops. [covers his mouth]
General Li Shang
[gasps and covers his mouth, then angrily steps out of his tent to find Fa Mulan]
THAT'S ENOUGH! Where is she?
Mushu
[chuckles]
I am good!
General Li Shang
[angrily storming over to Mulan]
MULAN!
FM Fa Mulan
Why hello, General. Out on night maneuvers?
General Li Shang
General Hardhead? [makes a silly yet glaring face] Brushing my teeth?
FM Fa Mulan
[curious]
Um, is something wrong?
General Li Shang
[angrily scolding Mulan]
I heard you, Mulan. Every word. [covers his mouth]
FM Fa Mulan
[confused]
Every word of what?
General Li Shang
Don't play coy, I saw you outside my tent.
FM Fa Mulan
What? I haven't left my post.
General Li Shang
And I suppose you weren't gossiping about me with the princesses?
FM Fa Mulan
Shang, did that dip in the river get you water-logged? And - why are you talking with your hand over your mouth?
General Li Shang
I wouldn't want to PEEL your PAINT! [angrily storms off while Mulan looks on, shocked]
Y Yao
[watching General Li Shang angrily leave]
Changing of the guard.
General Li Shang
[furiously stops and angrily turns back to Mulan]
And next time, DON'T LEAVE YOUR POST! [angrily storms off again]
Y Yao
What's with him? [Fa Mulan angrily growls and leaves in frustration] What's with her? Who'm I talkin' to?
