Mack
And now for a bedtime story. Once upon a time, there was a beautiful pond. It was paradise! Everyone was happy there...well, not everyone, for two ducklings were suffering from a strange condition. They were bored, and they were eager to discover what lay beyond their cozy little pond. [as Dax] "Come on, let's have a look!" [as Gwen] "But Daddy says it's dangerous to leave the pond!" [as Dax again] "Pfft, we're brave and strong, we ain't scared of nothing!" So they decided to go for it, straight into the arms of... [in a suddenly violent manner] PREDATORS! They were surrounded, trapped! But the ducklings were not afraid. The tiny heroes attacked the predator, aaand... they died. The end.
Gwen
Th... that's all? They're dead?
Mack
Oh yeah, no survivors.
Gwen
But how?
Mack
Oh, you want details? Okay. So first, the heron cut them in half-
Pam
Woah, woah, woah, whoa, wait a second here! Your father got the story wrong, [to Mack, in annoyance] again. What really happened was, the heron saw that they were lost, so she offered to help them.
Mack
Pam, it's a heron, a psycho killer designed to eat ducklings!
Pam
Alright, fine, the heron was about to eat them, but, their parents arrived just in time, and saved them!
Mack
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, their parents arrived... but it was too late. [as himself] "Oh Dax, don't worry, it's going to be okay." [as Dax] "Really, Dad?" [as himself again] "Yeah, sure. Squished ducks, they can achieve great things too, as long as they stay in the pond, far from the dangers of the world, such as herons, and bears, and wolves, and storms, and cyclones, and tornadoes, and crocodiles, and poisonous mushrooms... [he continues to list off the dangers, acting out with a leaf model of Dax]
Dax
Okay, I really need to get to bed now.
Gwen
What happened to the other duckling? Was she squished too?
Pam
Oh, no, no, don't worry, Gwen, the ducklings were both safe. They just went on their way right back to the pond.
Mack
But another predator came in and-
Pam
And wished them good day! [chuckles] The end.
Mack
Pam
That’s it.
Mack
Gwen
Okay. Good night, Mom. Good night, Dad.
Pam
Good night.
Mack
Pam
Mack
What? (What's making you so upset?)
Pam
Every time you tell a story, Gwen wets her twig bed.
Mack
Does she? That's great. See? That means she's learning, Pam.
Pam
Oh, learning what? That she should never leave the pond?
Mack
Exactly. Trust me, I'm teaching her very valuable fears. I should know. I've lived with them my entire life.
