Hello, hello. Here we are.
Happy to see us?
[the group of kids sit silently looking unamused]
Oh, look how they're screaming and yelling.
Hey, you want to tone it down a little?
Looks like a midget Nuremberg trial.
Dean Martin
Jeremy Northam · 27 quotes
Jerry Lewis
Sean Hayes · 24 quotes
Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis
20 quotes
Abby Greshler
Scott McCord · 3 quotes
Lou Perry
Conrad Dunn · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Dean Martin & Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis (19), Jerry Lewis & Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis (18), Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis (17)
Martin and Lewis quotes
Page 2 of 3Is Jackie in here? Hey, Jackie, how are you?
[Jackie Gleason is seen sitting at a front table, smoking a cigar, nods]
Everybody protect your food!
[Jerry is lying in bed in hospital after falling off the stage at the Paramount Theatre. Dean is sitting by his side]
You know, I hate to be alone.
Yeah.
Hey, Dean, remember that time in Chicago? Maybe it was Philly. Somewhere there was a bar or somewhere. You were laughing about something, and you threw your arm around my shoulder, and you kept it there while I took a drink, and everybody was looking at us and it was then, that I knew, this is what it must be like to have a brother. I'll never forget that feeling. That's the beautiful thing about show business, Dean. The thing I love the most. Never to be lonely again. Right, Dean?
Right, Jerry.
It's very nice of you to sit here with me.
Well, I'm not here, Jerry. You're dreaming. I'm sitting at the bar at the Copa, checking out the joint, smelling the perfume. Wondering whose gonna make the trip home with me tonight. Not thinking about tomorrow, not thinking about yesterday, not thinking about you.
You're such a tough guy. I know you feel it too. I know you do.
Oh why, is there one missing?
How come you make so many mistakes?
I got up early.
Ahh, get outta here!
Hey, Abby?
What?
Try stay out of the sun.
Get the hell outta here.
Betty Martin
How much longer can we do this? This is a disgrace, Dean.
It's a good thing. It's a clean slate.
Betty Martin
You have two kids and maybe you noticed a third on the way. Going bankrupt is a good thing?
Things will turn around.
Betty Martin
Why don't you come back to Philly? Get a job with my father? Be a regular person?
Betty, I'm not gonna do what you, or what anybody else wants me to do, you understand that?
Betty Martin
You just don't care, do you?
How come I sing less songs than usual?
Hal Wallis Jerry wanted to sing in this one.
What?
Hal Wallis He wanted a song. We gave him a song. No big deal.
No, you listen to me. [angrily] Maybe you didn't notice, but I just had a hit record. Now I made offers to do movies without Jerry. MGM, they want me to do Ten Thousand Bedrooms, and you - you wanna - you wanna waste me? Doing crap like this?!
Hal Wallis You listen to me. You can do Ten Thousand Bathrooms for MGM for all I care! All I know is you're doing 3 Ring Circus for me. What the hell are you so worried about anyway, huh? People come to see Jerry roll around the floor and you, don't wink and sing. Since when do you care about the script?
Ernie Glucksman Dean?
Yeah. [noticing the strap on his shoulder] Is that Jerry's?
Ernie Glucksman Yeah, well he only got the one though. Listen, I'm sorry about what happened back there.
Not your fault.
Ernie Glucksman How do you put up with it?
Hey, it doesn't bother me. I get paid the same whether I'm funny or whether the boy's funny.
Ernie Glucksman Yeah, but I mean the stomach aches. I've never seen anyone so desperate for attention. We all think it stinks.
Ernie Glucksman Yeah, I'd love to have a drink with you some night or maybe dinner? I'd like to get to know you more so I can tell the writers how to work for you better.
Nobody gets to know me better. Not even my wife.
[walks away]
Jeanne Biegger
Have you always been a singer?
Sure. Except for the time I was working in a steel mill, and the time I was a boxer, and the time I was a stickman in a casino.
Jeanne Biegger
All this and Steubenville?
They called it Little Chicago.
Jeanne Biegger
I just wish they could see what I see.
I want you to stay here, in LA. My band leader has a guest house.
Jeanne Biegger
What's gonna change?
You know how it is. What it is.
Jeanne Biegger
I do now, although it would have been nice of you to let me know you were married when you first took me out.
Don't you read the gossip columns?
Jeanne Biegger
I wouldn't let you be alone, you know that. Aren't you tired of being alone?
It's complicated.
Jeanne Biegger
No, it's simple. You need somebody who's always gonna be there. Who knows the truth and is never gonna lie to you. I'm just like you, Dean. I don't care about anything in this world except what's in front of me, and that's you. You've never been loved that way before, I know it. [pause] What do you want, Dean? What do you want to happen here?
Jeanne Martin
[reading a newspaper article as Dean sits relaxed watching a western]
"For all it's madness, there is method in the Lewis artistry". Oh, and here's the important part, [continues reading] "Mr. Martin is a competent straight man". [throws the newspaper] The Lewis artistry?
The boy is talented.
Jeanne Martin
Why doesn't anybody see that you're the spine of the act? Jerry would be nothing without you. I'll tell you one thing, there's not a woman in the world who would watch if you weren't there.
Jeanne Martin
I'm glad you think this is funny! How can you let him take over!? He rolls right over you!
Hey, do me a favour, don't tell me my business, okay? He wants to be a mogul, he wants to be an artist. What do I care? I'm happy the way things are.
Jeanne Martin
No, you’re not!
[angrily]
Now you’re gonna tell me how I feel too!? Great! Let me know when I'm hungry! Now get something to eat! [sits back down]
Jeanne Martin
He's holding you back! You could be the next Sinatra!
I can't hear the television if you go on talking!
Jeanne Martin
You know something, Dean? When we met, I told you there was something missing! I finally figured out what it is! You! You're missing there's just no one there!
[to Patti]
They'll hate me. Why can't I just get up on stage and be funny and then get famous and then get rich? Or the rich part first. I don't care. Is that too much to ask?
Patti Lewis
You should do it.
But I'm scared.
Patti Lewis
[kisses him on his forehead]
Do it anyway.
Patti Lewis
Come on, let's eat.
Don't forget, we got dinner with Dean and Jeanne on Friday.
Patti Lewis
Speaking of something I don't wanna do.
Well, get over it, cause we're going. We never do anything with them anymore.
Patti Lewis
I'm still friends with Betty. Do you have any idea how awkward this is?
I don't care. Dean's my best friend.
Patti Lewis
Dean is nobody's best friend, Jerry!
Who stayed with me all night at the hospital, huh? My father? Lew Wasserman? No, Dean did. You don't understand these things.
Patti Lewis
I understand better than you do. He's not gonna give you what you want. He can't. When are you gonna see that?
Alright, just stay out of it.
Patti Lewis
The invitation's never gonna come...
Alright, that's enough! You will go to dinner with us! Dean is my friend and you will go!