N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

[While Jerry is screen testing to play Al in My Friend Irma]
Hal Wallis: [after watching Jerry's test footage] Well, we're all friends here, so lets speak frankly. Jerry, your not an actor.
Jerry Lewis: I can do better.
Director: I worked with him as much as I could, Hal. We shot nine tests. He just doesn't have it.
Jerry Lewis: [offended] Fellas, I'm here in the room with you.
Hal Wallis: Jerry, don't take this personally.
Jerry Lewis: How?
Director: Jerry, this shows been on the radio for years. It has millions of fans. If someone who's not right plays Al, the audience will kill us.
Jerry Lewis: What about Dean?
Hal Wallis: Dean's great. He's very natural, he'll be perfect as Steve.
Director: Here's what Hal is thinking. We're gonna write a part just for you. We'll call him Seymour, a really wacky sidekick to Dean. You can just be yourself and have fun. It'll be perfect.
Jerry Lewis: [angrily] You listen to me, Mr. Wallis. Jerry Lewis plays Al like it says in my contract.
Hal Wallis: You listen to me, Jerry Lewis. I don't give a damn what it says in your contract. You're not right for Al, you're not playing Al. That's it, that's all.
Jerry Lewis: [angrily] I'm not playing Seymour. I'm playing Al. I can do it.
Hal Wallis: You don't wanna play Seymour, Jerry. I'll tell you what, you sit this picture out. We'll go for Dean to play Steve, we'll get a real actor to play Al, and you? Well, you can go back to New York.
Jerry Lewis: You can't do that! Dean and I are partners, we're a team. I don't like you, Hal Wallis.
Hal Wallis: Ahh, now you went and hurt my feelings. Abby, calm your client down.
Abby Greshler: Jerry, Dean is not exclusive to you. There's nothing stopping Hal from offering him a picture outside the seven pictures as a team.
Hal Wallis: Listen, I got a dozen other cry babies in this lot I gotta take care of, so what's it gonna be?
Jerry Lewis: [short pause] Alright, you win this time, Mr. Wallis. [walks away]
Hal Wallis: Hey, kid. The money always wins.

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