[Brian is caught graffiti-ing a wall]
What's this then? "Romanes eunt domus"? "People called Romanes, they go the 'ouse"?
No it doesn't. What's Latin for "Roman"? [Brian hesitates.] Come on, come on!
"Romanus"?
Goes like...?
"Annus"?
Vocative plural of "annus" is...?
"Anni."
[writing]
"Romani". "Eunt"? What is "eunt"?
"Go".
Conjugate the verb "to go".
Ire, eo, is, it, imus, itis, eunt.
So "eunt" is...?
Third person plural, present indicative. "They go".
But "Romans go home" is an order, so you must use the…?
Which is…?
Uh, uhm, "i"! "I"!
How many Romans?
Aah! Plural, plural! "Ite"! "Ite"!
[writing]
"Ite". "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home", this is motion towards, isn't it, boy?”
Dative? [centurion draws his sword and holds it to Brian's throat] Ah! Not dative! Not the dative, sir! Ah! Ah! Oh! Accusative, accusative! "Domum", sir, "ad domum".
Except that "domus" takes the…?
The locative, sir?
Which is…?
"Domum"!
"Domum". [writing] "Um". Understand?
Yes, sir.
Now write it out a 'undred times.
Yes sir, thank you sir, Hail Caesar sir. [calming down]
Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.
Oh thank you sir. Thank you sir. Hail Caesar and everything sir.
Right. Now don't do it again.
[Brian climbs down the ladder, steps back and surveys his handiwork. Three Roman centurions appear, look at the wall, then turn to Brian in anger. Brian looks at them; his eyes widen in realisation as he runs away and they give chase]
