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N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Elle: Chutney, why is it that Tracy Marcinko's curls were ruined when she got hosed down?
Chutney Windham: Because they got wet.
Elle: Exactly. Because isn't it the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you're forbidden to wet your hair for at least twenty-four hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the ammonium thioglycolate?
Chutney Windham: Yes.
Elle: And wouldn't somebody who's had, say, thirty perms before in their life be well aware of this rule? And if in fact, you weren't washing your hair, as I suspect you weren't because your curls are still intact, wouldn't you have heard the gunshot? And if in fact, you had heard the gunshot, Brooke Windham wouldn't have had time to hide the gun before you got downstairs. Which would mean that you would have had to found Mrs. Windham with a gun in her hand to make your story plausible. Isn't that right?
Chutney Windham: She's my age! Did she tell you that? How would you feel if your father married someone who was your age?
Elle: You, however, had time to hide the gun, didn't you, Chutney? After you shot your father.
Chutney Windham: [in tears] I didn't mean to shoot him! [points at Brooke] I thought it was YOU walking through the door!
[Courtroom audience gasps]
Judge: Order, order! Order!
Elle: Oh, my god.
Brooke: Oh, my god.
Judge: Oh, my god. Bailiff, take the witness into custody where she will be charged for the murder of Heyworth Windham. In the matter of The State vs. Brooke Windham, this case is dismissed. Mrs. Windham, you are free to go.
[Courtroom audience cheers. Guards grab Miss Windham by the arm and arrest her.]
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