Christian Markelli quotes

View Quote I don't like to brag, but I can suck the engine block through the tailpipe of a '58 Chevy.

View Quote How come if God talks to Joseph Smith, he's a prophet, but if God talks to me I'm schizophrenic?

View Quote Maybe you could try and reach down in your Bible geek soul and be cool for just two seconds?

View Quote Ok asshole, the way I see it you've got a big mouth and only one arm to back it up. So's how's it gonna look when a big flamer kicks the shit out of you?

View Quote Dammit, what's wrong with you? You want revelations engraved in gold and angels trumpeting down from heaven. But what if this is it instead? Me telling you I love you, right here, in the snow? I think that's pretty miraculous.

View Quote I mean, LA is a city where everyone dances with one eye on the door, like we're all waiting for something better to walk in. But would we ever recognise it if we did? It might be nice to stop circling. it might be nice to stop equating sex with a handshake. It might be nice to have it mean something.

View Quote Could be worse, could be raining. Oh yeah: it IS raining. ...
Christian: Well, apparently poor Pam Anderson has had her breast implants taken out and put back in so many times that her entire chest is collapsing. Ohh, they have bikini pictures. [gasps] They're horrible!
Keith: Shut up.
Christian: No, they are, seriously, they're down to her knees.