[to the other girls]
Well, if you really wanna be popular, consider two little words, "sex," "tape."
[Mindy shows up at the cafeteria in a pretty outfit by Brooke and the other girls]
Lois, you don't need these ass wounds. If I can dress like them, so can you. [she hands Lois the money] It's a gift...from some drug dealer who went missing.
Just because you dress like us doesn't mean you can be like one of us.
It doesn't matter what costume I wear, yours or mine, I'm a superhero. That's who I am. [she sits down]
Okay, Captain Muffin-Muncher, have fun playing make-believe.
This? This is all make-believe, Brooke. The reality is you're an evil bitch who's just as bad as the worst criminal scum. [the other girls realize what Mindy has said, and they stare at Brooke in shock]
[insulted]
You wanna get real, Mindy? In the real world, I win. I go to an awesome college, I marry a hot guy and I make adorable babies for my nanny to take care of while we vacay in Paris. My life is gonna rock, and yours is gonna suck. And no matter how slutty you dress, no boy is ever gonna wanna kiss that hole you call a mouth. So why don't you spare us all the whining and slit your wrists now? 'Cause the only thing that's gonna ruin my day is looking at your face one more second.
Told her.
Damn.
[Mindy pulls out a device from her purse] [mocking in shock]
What's that? A ghetto cell phone? Gonna call for help with a come-back? [she and her friends giggle in disbelief]
Actually, my daddy bought this from a disgruntled DARPA employee. You see, it was designed for crowd control, but deemed too severe. It emits a pulse that creates spontaneous nausea and diarrhea. He called it "the sick stick."
Either your daddy got ripped off or you're back in make-believe land, sweetheart, because we feel fabulous.
Not for long. [she uses the device, touching Harlow, causing her to vomit, as Brooke and Lois scream in shock, and as she touches Lois, she vomits on Brooke's face, humiliating herself]
[in shock]
OH...MY...GOD!!!! [she gets up, attempting to leave, but immediately stops and turns to Mindy] You get away from me. Please, [smiles] you win.
[as Brooke's smile disappears]
I don't wanna win. I just want to make the world a better place. [she uses the device once more, and it touches Brooke, causing her to vomit. Everyone gasps in shock as they see Brooke regurgitating on both ends, vomiting and pooping. Mindy smiles slyly]
