Newscaster
I'm not wearing any pants. Film at eleven.
Tied for most-quoted character in The Kentucky Fried Movie (1977): in 7 of its 33 quotes
A line from NewscasterThe popcorn you are eating has been pissed in. More at eleven.
More lines from Newscaster
3 quotes
Newscaster
Moscow in flames, missiles inbound, film at 11:00
Newscaster
Moscow in flames, missiles headed to New York, film at eleven.
Scenes with Newscaster
3 scenes
A.M. Newscaster
It's 19 minutes after the hour, and now it's time for our daily feature The Astrological Hour. A quick reminder these reports are not intended to foster belief in astrology, but merely to support people who cannot take responsibility for their own lives.
Newscaster
Rams plagued by fumbles as earthquakes rock Los Angeles. Film at eleven.
If you were thrilled by "The Towering Inferno," if you were terrified by "Earthquake," Then you will be SCARED SHITLESS at the Samuel L. Bronkowitz production of "That's Armageddon!"
A.M. Newscaster
In the meantime this is A.M. Today. It's 18 minutes after the hour and time for our daily feature of debate: Count/Pointercount. Once again here are John Fitzsimmons and Sheila Hamilton.
John Fitzsimmons [alternately to Sheila and camera]
Well Sheila, I guess even you and your liberal cronies have found the light at the end of love with our beloved president. The intellectuals have been much agitated and now, having gotten the presidency by exploiting the problems they themselves have manufactured, he has done his best to fuel their anxieties about him. Sheila. Will you and your pack of bleeding heart liberals never learn that expanding welfare roles only accelerate inflation and inevitably hurt most those they purport to help?
Sheila Hamilton
Why John, you old stick in the mud. [to camera] I've been listening to that horse shit of yours for months, and you can take that crap and blow it out your ass. And for good measure, sit on THIS [flips the bird] John.
