N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

Kelly: Crapgame?
Staff Sergeant "Crapgame": Whaddya want?
Kelly: I want to talk to you for a few minutes.
Crapgame: What about?
Kelly: I have this deal I've been working on. I thought you might be interested in helping me out.
Crapgame: What kind of deal?
Kelly: A private deal.
Crapgame: Hey, Harry, go get yourself a haircut. [Harry leaves] I hear Maitland's got himself a yacht and taking it to Paris. There's money in yachts. What does he want a yacht for?
Kelly: Who cares, as long as it keeps him out of our hair for a few days?
Crapgame: Okay, Kelly. What is it? What is it you want?
Kelly: Well, I want 15 Thompsons, two .30-caliber machine guns, two bazookas, two field radios and enough supplies and ammunition to last a platoon of men in the field for three days.
Crapgame: [sarcastic] Oh. Is that all?
Kelly: Nope! I want this Intelligence report for this whole sector and I need it in the next two hours.
Crapgame: That's nice. What's in it for me?
Kelly: A piece of the action.
Crapgame: What kind of action?
Kelly: [takes out a gold bar] This kind of action.
Crapgame: Oh, wow! Hello, Izzy? Yeah, it's me, it's me. Listen, get me a quotation for gold on the Paris market. Yeah, now and hurry it up! How much more where this came from?
Kelly: Fourteen thousand bars.
Crapgame: Fourteen thousand bars! Fourteen thousand bars! Fourteen thousand! Oh, wow, wow! Hey, sweetheart, have yourself a bottle of booze, you're beautiful! That's beautiful! Where is it?
Kelly: In a bank.
Crapgame: In a bank? You're getting pretty ambitious, aren't you? You think you could blow a bank and get away with it?
Kelly: It's behind enemy lines.
Crapgame: Behind enemy lines. [realizes] That could be the perfect crime.
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