(About Jovanovich)
Now, this guy has a lot of money. He's the king of caviar, and he's gonna save our asses!
Michael Cromwell
Tim Allen · 47 quotes
Mimi Siku
Sam Huntington · 30 quotes
Richard Kempster
Martin Short · 19 quotes
Charlotte
Lolita Davidovich · 12 quotes
Ian
Dominic Keating · 5 quotes
Patricia
JoBeth Williams · 5 quotes
Langston
Bob Dishy · 4 quotes
Jovanovic
3 quotes
Karen
Leelee Sobieski · 3 quotes
Most scenes together: Michael Cromwell & Mimi Siku (22), Michael Cromwell & Richard Kempster (13), Michael Cromwell & Charlotte (11)
Jungle 2 Jungle quotes
Page 1 of 5(Referring to New York)
This your village, Baboon? (Michael: Yep, this is my village) It's big.
Is it working?
It's pretty effective.
I'll get some champagne.
And I'll change into something more comfortable.
[playing around with a blowgun, he accidentally shoots Coco the cat; gasps as Coco falls asleep while purring]
Huh? [Coco meows and falls to the floor] [imitating Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor; grunting] Oh, no! [normal voice] Oh, girl. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. [sits on the couch] That was an accident. [picks up Coco] Come here. Come on. Ooh. Oh. Oh. [pulls sleeping dart out of Coco] Ah. Coco, Coco. Come on. Coco? Coco?
Michael, I was thinking about taking tomorrow morning off.
[frantically puts Coco on his lap and pets Coco]
Yes, that-- Oh, that's a great idea, whatever you'd like to do. 'Cause then it would-- It would be just you and me, wouldn't it? [holds up Coco] Coco? Coco, Coco. [Coco's head falls back, and Michael pulls Coco forward] Here. Snap out of it. [sprinkles water in Coco's face] Come on. Come on, Coco. You're killin' me. Wake up. Coco! What's that? It's a mouse! Go get it! [drops Coco, who lands on the floor] Oh. [holds up Coco with head and arms splaying backwards] Coco, Coco, Coco. Coco? Coco?
The rainforest is a very hot issue. Being associated with this, uh, jungle bloke, it can only help you.
Where's the rain forest?
Brian, find out where the rainforest is.
Brian
Right.
Mimi Siku, this is Charlotte, and, uh, Charlotte, this is Mimi Siku.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Mimi Siki.
Mimi Siku.
Mimi Siku.
This your female, Baboon?
This is my female.
And as his female, I'd like to invite you to dinner tonight with Fiona Gluckman. She's the fashion editor of Elle magazine. Very major. [to Michael] She wants to see the sketches for my wedding trousseau. [to Mimi] And if you're available, I'd love for you to join us. Is there anything special you like to eat?
Lizard guts.
Lizard guts?
Yes, but very lean.
Great earrings. [spots Mimi attempting to urinate in potted plant; shocked gasp] Honey!
[runs over to Mimi]
Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Mimi, Mimi, Mimi. Do you remember what we talked about, using the toilet on the airplane? Let's continue to do that. [to Charlotte] I will find the men's room for him, and we will see you tonight. [to Mimi] Come on, Mimi.
Will he be wearing the loin cloth to dinner?
I'll get him some clothes.
Michael, you're back!
We're here, but we're not "here," okay? Try to think of us as, uh, furniture.
Just act natural. So, did you miss me, darling?
I missed you very much.
My pieces in the show were such a hit that Ian-- Michael Cromwell, this is Ian Finch-Chumley.
Good to meet you, Ian.
Hi, Michael.
He's doing a profile on me for the Fashion Channel. He'll be following me from now through the spring collection, and he'll be covering the wedding as well. Isn't that fabulous?
[uses finger to turn Michael's head]
Forget the camera. Just talk to me. They're furniture. Now, honey, did you get everything settled?
Yeah.
Yes! Oh!
Actually, um, actually...Patricia was, was very reasonable.
So... what did you bring me?
Cameraman
[Michael pushes cameraman down]
Ow!
Cromwell! Cromwell, coffee's up another two points! My boys, I never doubted you for a minute. What do you say we go to the trading floor with those certificates and make money? Money is honey.
If Cromwell should bother to call, put him through to my office immediately! Has anybody seen that idiot Kempster around here?! Kempster!
[hiding under desk]
Michael, you have got to get back here tomorrow. Langston is going insane. Where are you?
I'm staying in the middle of Nightmare on Bodega Street.
If you don't get here, do I sell the coffee or do I hold it?
No, no, no, no. Do not sell the coffee till I give you the go-ahead. Call me on the uplink as soon as London opens, all right?
All right. Okay.
Kempster!
[Looking out window]
You know, it's got to be 15 years since I really stopped to looked at that statue.
Charlotte's mad. She doesn't like me.
No, no, no, no. Come on. It's not you at all. It's me. She's afraid of change.
Why did Paliku leave you, Baboon?
Boy, um.. I probably took her for granted.
So, now you're with Charlotte?
Yes, I am.
Many females in your village, Baboon.
Mm-hmm.
Why you pick only one?
Well, when you pick one to love, it's very different. It's like there's a big picture of her in front of your face at all times. And the picture's so big you can't see any other females.
Well, I try harder to make Charlotte like me.
Hmm?
How would you feel about Mimi being in the wedding?
I thought he was gonna be gone by then. [Michael's cell phone] Remember, it's just you and me.
No business, no Mimi.
[on the phone talking to Richard]
What is it, Richard? I can't-- Stop, stop, stop, stop. What? Oh, my God. [puts hand on face and reels back] Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Don't panic, please.
[walks out of restroom and bedroom]
Now should we go out for breakfast, or do you think we should stay in? [sees empty couch] Michael?
No, no, no. A dog is a pet, Michael. A cat is a pet! Although for your son, a cat is a dietary supplement as well!
We'll just keep him out on the balcony.
How do you know it hasn't already laid eggs in the apartment?
I'll have the place fumigated.
[rhetorically]
What if they miss one and it grows up and crawls into my ear while I'm sleeping one night, and lays its eggs in my brain?
Is Charlotte all right? Look, if something dramatic has happened, it should be on film.
[appears in foyer]
I have a shoot tomorrow which I was unable to prepare for, because I was trapped in the bathroom all day by his son's pet spider. So, I'll be spending the night at the loft to make up for lost time.
So, the appearance of little Mowgli is straining the relationship?
Ian, you're furniture, and furniture doesn't talk.
Furniture may not talk, Michael, but it listens, better than you do. I'm an artist, Michael. You look at something and see what it is. I look at something and see what it can be... [elevator bell dings and the door opens] ...and who can wear it. [she leaves]
Charlotte.
[walking in street with Mimi]
And on top of everything else, didn't I tell you to wait in the apartment--
I want to see Statue of Liberty.
I said we'd do that tomorrow.
Always tomorrow! You're too busy for Mimi Siku! I want to see Statue to Liberty, I go.
Look, Mimi, I've got a life here. I can't change everything just because you showed up.
Then why you bring me here?
I was obligated.
Mimi. [runs off and alongside traffic with Michael in pursuit] Mimi? Mimi! Mimi, come here! Stop! Come back here! Whoop! Mimi, I didn't mean that!
You said "obligated"!
I didn't mean that. Now, stop! Look out! Mimi, come on! [vehicle almost hits Mimi and Michael grabs him] Get out of the street! Come on! Get out of the street! [pulls Mimi to sidewalk]
I want to go home. You not want Mimi Siku here!
I want you here. I'm sorry. Look, stop, stop. Look. [pants heavily from all the running] Sorry I said that stuff. I was just angry.
You always angry at me. "Don't do this! Don't do that!"
This is New York. This is a dangerous jungle.
Mimi Siku not scared. Mimi Siku a man.
No, you're not a man. You are an adolescent.
Adolescent?
Yes. An adolescent. But you don't have a wife. [exhales] You don't have a family to support. You are free to do whatever you want.
You're an adolescent.
What?! No, no, no, no! I am not an adolescent. I'm a man.
I'm a man too.
Not here you're not a man. You're a 13-year-old boy running around in a loin cloth.
I'm a man, too!
Okay, okay. You're right. You are a man. But you're gonna have to learn what men do in my jungle.
And you have to learn how to breathe when you run. [Michael gives him a "Point taken." look]
Okay, first lesson. Ooh! You wanna go someplace in my village, all you gotta do is wave your arm. Wave your arm. [Taxi pulls over]
Magic.
You know, magic would be if he understands English. Fulton Fish Market on the double.
Taxi driver
Okay. [speaks foreign language]
Charlie, I got a great idea. What do you say you and I get the hell outta here? Tomorrow. Just the two of us. Head out to our favorite spa, that big suite. Get to know each other again?
Me, neither.
I really want to film all that, but I've got an appointment with my chiropractor this weekend. You know much my bloody back affects my work.
Oh, I know. We could do it a week Friday.
That's not good for me.
It's good for Ian.
Well, whatever's good for Ian.
I suggest a following Wednesday.
Wednesdays are good.
Come on, come on, come on.
I am starving. [takes plate and reacts in extreme disgust] Ohhh.
It's yellow-eared bat, a Pinare specialty. It's made from the bladder.
Oh, bat bladder. [digusted] Holy Kaopectate, I don't think so.
Yeah, right.
Chicken.
I would prefer that. Thanks. Ready. Okay, okay. Excuse me. [to Pinare kid throwing rocks] Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Michael, I have to talk to you.
Patricia, let's not, okay?
There's something that you don't know.
Yeah, like why you left me.
Because of the fifth phone line.
What is that supposed to mean?
One morning some guy showed up at our apartment to install a fifth phone line. He asked if I was the receptionist. And I realized that I had lost you somehow. So, I packed my things, and I left you alone. I figured you'd be happier that way.
You thought this would make me happy?
How long before you noticed I was gone?
Why didn't you talk to me?
Talk to you? I spent six months telling you I was unhappy.
It was a crazy time for me. I just started working at L.T.G. I had a straddled position in sugar.
The price went up, it skyrocketed...
Michael!
...I'm shorted--
Michael!
What?!
It's very hard for me to tell you this, so please listen.
Well, what choice do I have? I'm stuck here with you and the Village People... till you celebrate Banana-fana-fo-fana.
Attractive woman on computer
Hello, you.
Villagers
Ooh.
Excuse me. The real world calls. [walks to computer and hums]
Attractive woman on computer
Hello, you. [Michael types on his laptop]
What I'm trying to say is that...
Look, I was right. I was right!
...I wasn't exactly alone when I left you.
Michael. Michael.
I'm with ya. Coffee has gone crazy.
I didn't know it at the time, but I was...
97¼, 97, 97. Am I greedy? I'm feeling pretty greedy.
...pregnant with your son.
I'm gonna wait till 97½. 'Cause it's gonna happen. Waitin'. Papa is waitin'. Come to Papa, come to Papa. [Patricia walks away] 97½, 97½. Sold for a tidy $300,000 profit. God, it's good to be good! [to Pinare Man] What'd she say?
Pinare Man
Hello, you.
[walking after her]
Patricia-- ["Confirm transmission!" appears on laptop screen] All right, Patricia. What did I do?
I just told you that you had a son, and you didn't even hear me.
What are you talking about? What son?
Your son. [points to Mimi Siku] The boy sitting next to the fire over there is your son.
I must have started a thousand letters to tell you, but every one of them started with, "I know you never wanted children."
This is nuts. This is nuts. This is unbelievable.
I was confused--
You know what you just said to me?! This is unforgivable!
I'm not asking you to forgive me, but he didn't do anything, so don't blame him.
That's my son?
His name is what?
Mimi Siku.
Mimi Siku.
Roughly translated, it means... "Cat Piss."
He picked the name "Cat Piss"?
He was six years old at the time. It's a territorial thing.
You sure he's mine?
Positive. He's got your nose, and he thinks he's never wrong.
Villagers
Hello, you.
No, no, no! Get away! No-no-no, don't touch that! Don't touch that! No, don't touch that! Huh? [laptop shuts down due to low battery power] Ohhh. [holds up power cord] You wouldn't happen to have a place where I could stick that, would you?
Pinare man
Hello, you.
I should take some pictures of Mimi.
You can never have enough pictures of your kids. We have, like, 400 albums. I've never looked at them, but they exist. It's good. Come on. Let's go.
Maddy
Michael, you have a call.
I told you to hold all calls.
Maddy
Richard, it's the police.