Johnny Dangerously quotes

31 total quotes

Danny Vermin
Johnny Dangerously
Ma Kelly
Others
Roman Moroni

View Quote (Ma Kelly pours herself a drink from a flask in her purse)
Tommy Kelly: Mom, it's prohibition!
Ma Kelly: Oh, shut up! Stop acting like some **** choir boy!

View Quote And you know for you kids out there who are thinkin' about smokin', don't start. And if you started, stop. Smokin' don't make you look tough kids. It makes you look stupid. If you gotta put something in your mouth, make it a stick of chewing gum. Sure, thats what Johnny does. Smoking is the worst thing you can do to your body.

View Quote Bless the saints, it's an ashtray! I've been thinking of taking up smoking. This clinches it!

View Quote Dames are put on this earth to weaken us, drain our energy, laugh at us when they see us naked.

View Quote Diversification. Yes, sir. We're constantly exploring new and exciting areas of crime. And I tell ya somethin'. We better, because there a couple Japanese gangs out there that are going to do it faster and cheaper.

View Quote I enjoy collecting protection money, putting whores to work, loan-sharking. I enjoy planting bombs in people's cars. These are a few of my favorite things.

View Quote I know what you can't say. You wanna get laid. You wanna hump your brains out. Vavoom, vavoom, vavoom!

View Quote I never should have picked a name like that. A name like that you gotta live up to.

View Quote I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes... like yourselves.

View Quote I've fulfilled a lot of people's predictions about me. I've become a real s****bag.

View Quote The Lower East Side. This really sucks.

View Quote The name's Dangerously. Johnny Dangerously.

View Quote With a father like "Killer" Kelly, it's a wonder neither of you turned out to be a piece 'o shit criminal.

View Quote You fargin sneaky bastage. I'm gonna take your dwork. I'm gonna nail it to the wall. I'm gonna crush your boils in a meat grinder. I'm gonna cut off your arms. I'm gonna shove 'em up your icehole. Dirty son-a-ma-batches!

View Quote You shouldn't hang me on a hook, Johnny. My father hung me on a hook once... Once.