Dotty -- this is not "a guy.". This is a "syndrome." It's called Early Midlife, About-To-Marry, Hanging Onto The-Bottom-Rung Dear-God-Don't-Let-Me-Be-Alone, I'll-Call-My-Newly Long-suffering-Assistant-Without Medical-For-Company Syndrome. And if, knowing all that, you still allow him to come over, more power to you.