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[A newspaper is reporting the collapse of Simon's constituency's wall]
Simon Foster: God, how ridiculous! And that's news, is it?
Malcolm Tucker: It's not ridiculous. It's not ridiculous at all. [beat] You're fired.
Simon Foster: What?
Malcolm Tucker: Over the wall. [Points at the paper] I mean, that's just not tolerable.
Simon Foster: It's a ****ing wall, Malcolm.
Malcolm Tucker: Look, The Telegraph has a cartoon of you teetering on the Great Wall of China. Suggesting that you're the only political ****-up visible from space. Look at this! Look at it! No one could survive this! The PM's very clear about this; you're sacked. Over the wall.
Simon Foster: No!
Malcolm Tucker: Yes!
Simon Foster: You haven't--you haven't even spoken to the Prime Minister!
Malcolm Tucker: I--I--I have.
Simon Foster: You ****ing haven't! I've been standing here right in front of you!
Malcolm Tucker: I have spoken to the Prime Minister. Whether it has happened or not is irrelevant, it is true! And he was very clear; you've got to go.
Simon Foster: [Laughs nervously] If you think I'm going quietly, Malcolm, you've made a mistake.
Malcolm Tucker: Well, if you want to try and turn this into some anti-war protest, expect to hear your "Mountain of Conflict" soundbite everywhere: from ringtones to, ****ing, a dance mix on YouTube. And I will marshal all the media forces of darkness to hound you to an assisted suicide. [Simon stands, stunned and terrified] Right-oh, let's just go and draft your "Dear Prime Minister, just a quick note to say thanks for giving me the sack" letter. Off we tot! Come on, young Simon!
Deleted scenes[edit] Simon Foster: I think the reason America is a superpower is because everyone who comes here to negotiate is out of their minds with jet-lag. If somebody offered me a pillow now, I'd happily give them Gibraltar.


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