[after Max scared off some teen Whos]
Well done, Max! Serves them right, those yuletide-loving... sickly-sweet, nog-sucking cheer mongers! [picks up an onion] I really don't like 'em. Mm-mm. No, I don't. [eats the onion] MAX! [Max whimpers] Get my cloak. [Max runs back inside] I've been much too tolerant of these Who-venile delinquents, and their innocent, victim-less pranks. [rubs his pits with the onion] So they wanna get to know me, do they? [throws away the onion] They want to spend a little quality time with the Grinch. [turns to the camera] I guess I could use a little... social interaction. [shows off a sinister-looking smile; the scene fades to Whoville with a view of Max and the Grinch's feet]
WB Whoville Bike Men
Merry Christmas!
Oh, yeah. You bet, and ho, ho, ho, and... stuff. [The bikers fall down, blocking traffic.] Oh, my. Someone has vandalized that vehicle. You see, Max? The city is a dangerous place.
Narrator The Grinch hated Christmas. The whole Christmas season.
WO Who Officer
Top of the day.
Narrator Now, please, don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
[gives two Who girls a bandsaw]
Hey, kids. Here's a present for ya. Be sure to run real fast with it now. All right, come on. Double time. Let's go! Move, move, move, move, move!
Narrator It could be that his head wasn't screwed on just right. Or it could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all...
Narrator ...May have been that his heart was 2 sizes too small.
WH Whoville Hat Salesman
Hey, stranger! Won't let you go until you buy a chapeau! [The Grinch pulls off his mask, loudly belches, blows odor on him, making him fall. The Grinch pulls his mask back on, and laughs evilly.]
[as Max sneezes]
Gesundheit.
C Cindy
[Max growls; this causes Cindy Lou to see the Grinch and Max, and she screams, and the Grinch screams back; drops down to the ground and snorts.]
You're the, the, the, the…
[imitating Cindy]
"The, the, the, the…" [normal voice; loudly] THE GRINCH!
C Cindy
Aah! [falls down a mail shaft] Help!
...That worked out nicely.
C Cindy
Help! [big stamp stamps fragile on present; muffled] Help me! Somebody!
[to Max]
Max, let's go. Our work here is finished. [chomps] Sheesh!
C Cindy
Help me! Please! Help!
[sees Max biting his own cloak]
That is not a chew toy! Stop it, Max! Get that out of your mouth! You have no idea where it's been!
C Cindy
[Cindy screams, and a whistle blows]
Help!
[scowls; annoyed]
Ohhh... Bleeding hearts of the world, UNITE!
[saves Cindy]
There. [takes back his goofy mask] Give me that! DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE THINGS THAT DON'T BELONG TO YOU?! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU, YOU SOME KIND OF WILD ANIMAL?! HUH?!
C Cindy
[shaking her head]
Uh-uh.
[to Max]
Let's go. [heads to the exit]
C Cindy
Thanks for saving me.
[screeches to a stop, fingers scrape against glass, turns around angrily]
Saving you? Is that what you think I was doing?
[wags finger]
Wrong-o. [grabs wrapping paper] I merely noticed that you were improperly packaged, my dear! [begins wrapping Cindy Lou wildly in wrapping paper] DRAT! Hold still! [stops wrapping, to Max] Max, pick out a bow! [resumes wrapping Cindy Lou in wrapping paper, stops] Can I use your finger for a second?
LL Lou Lou Who
[enters back room]
Cindy?
C Cindy
Dad. [Lou sees her covered in gift wrapping that the Grinch wrapped her up with earlier] Daddy! Daddy!
LL Lou Lou Who
What the hey? Honey? Cindy?
C Cindy
[removes gift wrapping]
Dad, it was amazing!
L Lou
You've been practicing your Christmas wrapping. Honey, I'm so proud of you.
L Lou
Now that's holiday!
Narrator Sweet little Cindy didn't know what to do. In her head bum-tumbled a conflict or two; "If the Grinch was so bad, then why did he save me? Maybe he wasn't so bad."
L Lou
Come on, let's go home.
Narrator "Maybe. Just maybe."
Narrator So whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes, he stood outside his cave( on Christmas Eve)... hating the Whos.
[brings out a Whoville phone book]
Alphabetically. [raises finger, hits against name in book] Aadvarkian Abakenezer-Who, I... [bellows down] HATE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!!! [stops] Aaron B. Benson Who, I hate you. [pointing at various names] Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double hate. [pause, widens eyes; venomously] LOATHE ENTIRELY!! [hears music playing in Whoville] Nutcrackers! [closes the book] It's their Whobilation!
Narrator ...He snarled with a sneer.
[shocked gasp]
Tomorrow is Christmas.It's practically here.MAX! FETCH ME MY SEDATIVE! [inside his cave; with a hammer] Now, to take care of those pesky memories. [hits himself with the hammer and falls over, moaning]
CO Clock Operator
Only 4 hours till Christmas!
Narrator Yes, the Grinch knew.Tomorrow all the Who girls and boys would wake bright and early and rush for their toys.
And then, all the noise!All the noise, noise, noise, NOISE!!They'll bang on tong-tinglers.They'll blow their floo-flounders.They'll crash on jang-jinglers and bounce on boing-bounders!
Narrator Then Whos young and old would sit down to a feast.And they'll feast, and they'll feast.
And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast!They'll eat their Who pudding, and rare Who roast BEAST... which is something I just cannot stand in the least.Oh, no. I'm speaking in rhyme! Aah! [drops to his knees] BLAST YOU, WHOS! [sobs]
Narrator And the more the Grinch thought of what Christmas would bring, the more the Grinch thought...
I must stop this whole thing.Why, for year after year, I've put up with it now!I must stop this Christmas from coming, but how? [gasps] I mean, "In what way?". [gags, disgusted; as he goes inside his cave, he sees Max dancing right behind the doghouse; to Max, snickering] Are you having a holly... jolly... Christmas? [record needle scratches] WRONG-O! [throws Max and his doghouse out. He peers over the edge at the dog-shaped hole in the snow as Max whimpers] Hmph! [jumps to the hole, and picks up Max, who is covered in snow] If you're not going to help me, then you might as well– [sees snow covering Max's face, looking like Santa Claus' white beard]
Narrator Then he got an idea; an awful idea. The Grinch got a wonderful... awful idea.
I know... just what to do. [smiles sneakily and points his pointer finger up with a "Ding!" sound effect; the scene cuts to the Grinch cutting a coat-shaped hole in the red fabric, and sewing the fabric]
Narrator The Grinch laughed in his throat...
Narrator ...and he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
[loud crunch] [alarmed]
Oh-ho-ho! [sees his fingers sewn to the red fabric later]
Narrator And he chuckled and clucked... [the Grinch faints in shock and pain] ...at this great Grinchy trick.
[admires himself in the mirror, dressed in the finished outfit]
With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick! Ho, ho, ho! [singing] ♪ You're a mean one… Mr. Grinch! ♪♪ You really are a heel. ♪
JC Jim Carrey
♪ You're as cuddly as a cactus, and as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch! ♪You're a bad banana with a... ♪ greasy black peel! ♪ [scene cuts to the Grinch riding ziplines] ♪ Just face the music, you're a monster, Mr. Grinch. ♪Yes, you are!
[singing]
♪ Your heart's an empty hoooooooole! ♪
J Jim
♪ Your brain is full of spiders and you got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch. ♪Mmm…♪ I wouldn't touch you with a… 39 1/2 foot pooooooooole! ♪
[Max brings the Grinch a "5/8" spanner]
I asked for 3/4, not 5/8. Stay focused! [The Grinch brings the 5/8 spanner back to Max.]
C Carrey
You know if you asked every Who's Who of Whoville…♪ No one would deny it. ♪ [holds note as Max presses the button, making the Grinch launch faster, until it hits the "HIT HERE" sign, making Jim Carrey cough]
Ow. [lifts his head up after a dummy crash test] Airbag's a little slow. [Airbags come out] But that's what these tests are for! [Max barks, and the Grinch lets his head drop back down] ♪ You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile. ♪
C Carrey
♪ You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch. ♪
G Grunch
♪ Given the choice between you, I'd take the... seasick crocodile! ♪ [holds note while spinning around but yells and holds his mouth as he grunts.]
SC Santa Claus
[heartly]
Ho-ho-ho!
Fat-boy should be finishing up anytime now. Talk about a recluse. He only comes out once a year, and he never catches any flak for it! Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes.
S Santa
[flying with his reindeer, lead by Rudolph]
Merry Christmas!
Oopsie. Forgot about the reindeer. (All I need is a reindeer.)
Narrator (The Grinch looked around, but since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.)
Did that stop the old Grinch?No. The Grinch simply said...
If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead. [reaches for Max, who whimpers and runs away] Oh, Maaaaaa-AAAAAAX!!
Narrator So he called his dog Max.Then he took some red thread… and tied a big horn... on top of his head.
[The Grinch dresses Max with reindeer antlers and a red nose as Rudolph. He claps his hands, makes a gleeful noise and puts on a director's cap, mimicking Ron Howard, the director.] [to Max as Rudolph]
Alright, you're a reindeer. Here's your motivation - your name is Rudolph, you're a freak with the red nose and nobody likes you. Then one day, Santa picks you and you save Christmas. [Max stares at him blankly] No, forget that part. We'll improvise, just keep kind of loosy-goosy. You hate Christmas, you're gonna steal it! Saving Christmas was a lousy ending. Way too commercial. [sits down on director's chair and holds up megaphone; amplified] ACTION! [Max pops off the red nose; jumps out of seat, ecstatic] BRILLIANT!! You reject your own nose because it represents the glitter of Commercialism! Why didn't I think of it?! Cut, print, check the gate, moving on.
[arrives on the roof with Max]
Come on, Max. It's our first stop.
Narrator ...The old Grinchy Claus hissed, and he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. [the Grinch prepares to go down the chimney with rope on his feet]He'd slide down the chimney, a rather tight pinch.But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
[imitating sports announcer]
He's planning a double-twisting interrupted by forward-flying 2 1/2 with a combo tuck and pike. High degree of difficulty. [jumps high in the air as bungee jumping while vocalizing] Whoo! [leans closer to the chimney] ♪ LAA-LAAA-LAAAAAAA!! ♪ [lands in the chimney upside down, and gets stuck since he gained a couple of pounds from the Whobilation]
Narrator He got stuck only once... for a moment or two.
Blasted water weight. Goes right to my hips. [struggles his arms to free himself as he slides down and lands and hits his head by the fireplace] Ow! Gee! [looks at the view of the living room]
Narrator Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue...
[to the narrator; breaking the 4th wall again]
Shh! A little more stealth, please.
Narrator [quietly]
...Where the little Who stockings are all hung in a row.
Narrator [normal voice]
He grinned.
...Are the first thing to go. [picks out a jar of moths] Okay, fellas. Chow time. [frees the moths, sticks his head back up just as the moths eat the stockings. Then, the Grinch lowers a hose, and sucks everything into his bag, as he laughs evilly]
Narrator Then he slunk to the icebox. [The Grinch hugs the fridge into place.]
Slunk? [opens up the fridge] Eee.
Narrator He eyed the Whos' feast.He took the Who-Pudding. [The Grinch throws a plate of Who pudding away.]He took... the Roast Beast.
[imitating football quarterback]
HIKE! [tosses the Roast Beast in a football hike position]
Narrator [as the Grinch messes everything up the fridge]
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.Why, that Grinch, he even took their last can of Who-Hash. [The Grinch opens up the cupboard to reveal a last can of Who-Hash inside in it just as Cindy opens her bedroom door.]Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
Narrator Grinned The Grinch.
[snatches the tree]
...I'll stuff up the tree.
Narrator And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove!When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
Eee! [stops and hides behind the tree]
Narrator The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughterwho'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
Santa Claus, what are you doing with our tree?
Narrator But you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick...[Grinch coughs]...He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick.
[imitating Santa]
Why-hy-hyy, my sweet little tot...
Narrator The fake Santa Claus lied.
...There's a light on this tree that won't... light on one side, so I'm taking it home to my w-wo-orkshop, my dear. [laughs and Cindy giggles]I'll fix it up there… and I'll bring it... back here.
Santa, what's Christmas really about?
[pops out through the tree, startling Cindy]
Vengeance! Er, I mean... presents... I suppose.
Hmm. I was afraid of that.
Narrator And his fib fooled the child.Then he patted her head, and he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.
Don't forget the Grinch. I know he's mean and hairy and smelly. His hands might be cold and clammy… but I think he's actually kinda... sweet.
"Sweet"?! You think he's sweet?
(Mm-hm.)
Merry Christmas, Santa.
Narrator [Grinch flinches, covers his ears and groans, but Cindy Lou goes back to bed.]
And when Cindy Lou went up with her cup...
Nice kid. Bad judge of character.
Narrator ...He went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up. [the Grinch stuffs the tree up the Chimney, grabs the Christmas lights and goes up the chimney] (Then he went up the chimney himself, the old liar.)And the last thing he took was the log for their fire.On their walls, he left nothing but some hooks and some wire.And the one speck of food that he'd left in the house was a crumb, that was even too small for a mouse.Then he slithered and slunk with a smile most unpleasant, around each Who home, and he took every present.
[uses a saw to cut a hole with a Christmas tree on top of it, and it falls down as the he emerges from the hole]
Clearance sale. Everything must go. [sucks up Christmas stuff even a cat on a chair, and takes it out.] What... now? [a cat attacks his face]
[The scene cuts to the Grinch snatching the ring in a box away from Martha, then forms an oval on the window with hands pressed by the glass while sucking on it. He opens the bedroom door to the Mayor of Whoville, and chortles in amusement, but quickly covers his mouth as Augustus talks in his sleep]
Martha, have you ever kissed a man who lost his tonsils twice?
[imitating Martha May Whovier]
No, silly. [picks up Max] But it's an experience that I've always longed for. Kiss me, you fool! [This makes Max's grow big eyes, making the Mayor holding up bright teeth as the Grinch puts a hook on the bottom of the bed.]
[noticing the sleigh had ran out of gas because the bag is full; Max barks]
Hmm. What are you laughing at... Rudolph? [later on Mt. Crumpit] It's all you, Maxie!
Narrator 3,000 feet up.Up the side of Mt. Crumpit.He rode with his load to the tip-top to dump it.
Okay, whoa! WHOOOAA!! [gets off the sleigh] We... DID IIIIIIIIITTTTTTT!!! [chanting] We did it, we did it! That wasn't so bad, was it, Max? [Max now whimpers once again] They'll be waking up now. [spots at the bottom of the edge view of Whoville] And I know just what they'll do.All those Whos down in Whoville, will all cry... [The Whos were now singing "Boo Hoo" sober about stolen Christmas]
OH Officer Houlihan
What an embarrassment! I've been robbed! [heads inside the police car, making the Mayor's bed come loose]
MM Mayor May Who
Whoa! Whoa! [the bed stops]
Office Houlihan [gasps] Mayor May Who? Oh, dearest me!
MM Mayor May Who
Well... I wonder who could have done this. [Ones of the Whos help the Mayor put a robe on. He puts the robe on] tell you people one thing: Invite the Grinch, destroy Christmas. [starts pounding the bed in frustration] INVITE THE GRINCH, DESTROY CHRISTMAS! But did anyone listen to me?
MM Mayor May Who
[ignoring Whobris]
No. You chose to listen... [laughs sarcastically] ...To a little not-to-be-taken-seriously [seriously] ...GIRL, who hasn't even grown into her nose yet. [looks at Cindy] Cindy, I hope you're very proud of what you've done.
Now, for the final note in my symphony of downright nasty not-niceness, the crescendo of my odious opus! [starts pushing the sled] Oh, the wailing and the gnashing of teeth. The bellowing of the bitterly bummed out! It'll be like music to my ears! [strains harder, and stops to hear faint singing] (Hmm...?)
Narrator Then the Grinch heard a sound rising over the snow.It started in low.Then it started to grow.
Narrator But the sound wasn't sad.Why, this sounded merry...but it was merry. Very.Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small was singing without any presents at all.He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming.It came.
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
[looking up at the Grinch's sled]
Mr. Grinch!
Narrator And the Grinch, with his Grinch feet ice-cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling.
How could it be so?It came without ribbons.It came without tags.It came without packages, boxes or bags!
Narrator And he puzzled and puzzled, 'till his puzzler was sore.Then the Grinch... thought of something... he hadn't before.
Narrator He thought.
...Doesn't...come from a store.Maybe Christmas...perhaps... [warmly] ...Means a little bit more. [gets a sudden thump in his chest] Max, help me! I'm... feeling! [wheezes, and sees his small heart growing]
Narrator And what happened then?Well, in Whoville they sayThat the Grinch's small heart... grew 3 sizes... that day.
[puts his hand by his body, sits up, begins crying, and bawls]
What's happening to me? [stops crying, and notices the sun rising] I'm all... toasty inside. [feels a tear] And I'm leaking. Oh, Max. I love ya!
