Hot Rod quotes

View Quote Marie Powell: It's nice to see him smiling again.
Rod Kimble: Yeah, but you know what won't make him smile? [yelling] WHEN I MURDER HIM! [slams door and shatters window on door] And I'm genuinely sorry about the window!

View Quote Rod Kimble: [to Kevin] You're the next Douglas Bubbletrousers!

View Quote Rod Kimble:[Opens up the box with the new stuntman uniform] No Way!
Kevin Powell: You're gonna look like a champion Rod.
Rod Kimble: You guys, this thing is NUMBER ONE!!
Kevin Powell: Wait Rod, there's more.
Dave: Ye-ye-yeah uh, we were uh, worried that the moped might not be uh, fast enough to clear the jump so uh, [pulls back curtain to reveal motorcycle]
Rod Kimble: No way. Whoa, Dave, this thing is NUMBER ONE!!
Dave: Now I know she doesn't look like much, but trust me man, shes got some kick, a lot.
Rod Kimble: Alright.
Rico: There's one more thing Rod. I know how you like explosions and showmanship and stuff, so I rigged the whole jump with fireworks.
Rod Kimble: Cool!
Rico: And I got you this rock [presents him with a small rock wrapped in a bow] to represent ALL my hard work.
Rod Kimble: [less enthused] Oh, cool Rico. [grabs rock from Rico's palm] that's number one.
Rico: Yeah, you could pretty much just toss that after the fireworks go off, it's cool.
Rod Kimble: Thanks, thanks all of you.

View Quote Rod Kimble: [waves to a taco while he's wandering through white nothingness] Hi. [a grilled cheese sandwich walks up to the taco and starts to fight with it] Ho, ho! Ho yeah! Yes! Yeah! [the taco is beating the grilled cheese sandwich with a folding chair] Finish him! Finish him! Yeah-heh-ha! [grilled cheese sandwich lies motionless with blood oozing out of the back of its head]
Denise: [distantly] Rod? Rod!
Rod Kimble: Denise? [wakes up gasping] Hoobastank!

View Quote Rico: Oh shit!
Denise: Rod! Are you okay?
Rod Kimble: Ooohhh...the safety word didn't help.

View Quote Furious Boss: You're a terrible stuntman.
Rod Kimble: What?
Furious Boss: [louder] You're a terrible stuntman.
Rod Kimble: What?
Furious Boss: [screaming] You're a terrible stuntman!
Rod Kimble: Haha, I'm just kidding. I could hear you. It was just really mean.

View Quote Rod Kimble: [whispering] Frank. I know you're sleeping but I just wanted you to know the training is going really great. My reflexes are sharp, I'm crazy agile, and I have a date. So, anyways, that's the update. Sleep tight. [turns around]
Frank Powell: Who're you talking to?
Rod Kimble: Haaah! Haaaaaah!

View Quote Rico: I hope you enjoy the show.
Frank Powell: I can assure you I won't.

View Quote Rod Kimble: All great men have mustaches!
Frank Powell: Yeah, but real men actually grow them!
Rod Kimble: You know I have a hormone disorder!
Frank Powell: Ooh!

View Quote Richardson: There is no tool in this pool.

View Quote Rod Kimble: Whoa, whiskey! Whiskey! Whiiskeeeeeeeeeey! Whiskeeey! Whiskeeeeey! [crashes into a parked RV]

View Quote Rod Kimble: We're gonna jump 15 buses.
Rico: Whoa, come on, Rod. That's nearly as many as Evel Knievel jumped.
Rod Kimble: It's actually one more than Evel Knievel jumped, Rico. I know. I checked. Online.

View Quote Scrooge: Ho-ho-ho! A cooked goose for everyone! Ha-ha-ha!
Barry: It's Ebenezer Scrooge!
Scrooge: Yes! A cooked goose! Ha-ha-haaaaa!

View Quote Rod Kimble: [after finding out his dad wasn't a stuntman] So how did he die?
Marie Powell: He choked on some pie.
Rod Kimble: What? Come on! Seriously?
Marie Powell: He wanted to win that contest so badly...

View Quote Rod Kimble: Your video made me look like an idiot.
Kevin Powell: I didn't mean to.
Rod Kimble: What was it Kev? Jealousy? You couldn't take everyone loving my stunts and thinking you're short?
Kevin Powell: I'm not short...
Rod Kimble: YES, YOU ARE.
Kevin Powell: NO, I'M NOT!