[Bilbo regains consciousness and sees Gollum dragging and attacking a goblin that he fought. In the process, Gollum dropped a golden Ring. As Gollum drags the goblin away, Bilbo gets up, goes to the Ring, picks it up, and puts it in his pocket. He sees Gollum eating the goblin. Bilbo hides behind a rock, his sword's light dims out. Gollum quietly rides his boat across the river and pops out from over the rock, Bilbo is hiding and jumps in front of Bilbo]
Bless us and splash us, precious! That's a meaty mouthful! [Bilbo points his sword at Gollum's throat, Gollum notices the blade] Gollum! Gollum!
Back! Stay back. I'm... warning you. Don't come any closer.
It's got an elfish blade.
But it's not a elfs.
Not an elfs, no. What is it, precious? What is it?
My name is... Bilbo Baggins.
[confused]
Bagginses? What is a Bagginses, precious?
I'm a hobbit from the Shire.
Oh! [laughs a little] We like goblinses, batses, and fishes, but we hasn't tried hobbitses before!
Is it soft? Is it juicy?
[swings his sword]
Now... Now, keep... keep... keep your distance! I'll use this if I have to! [Gollum screams] I don't want any trouble! Do you understand!? Just show me the way to get out of here and I'll be on my way!
Why? Is it lost?
Yes. Yes, and I want to get un-lost as soon as possible.
Oh! We knows! We knows safe paths for hobbitses! Safe paths in the dark-
Shut up!
I didn't say anything.
Wasn't talking to you!
Well, yes, we was, precious. We was.
I-I don’t know what your game is, but I...
[ecstatic]
GAMES?! Oh, we loves games! Doesn't we, precious? Does it like games? Does it, does it, does it like to play?
Maybe.
What has roots as nobody sees, Is taller than trees. Up, up, up it goes, And yet never grows?
Yes! Yes! Oh, let's have another one, huh? Yes, yeah, go, do it again! Do it, do it again! Ask us!
No! No more riddles! Finish him off! Finish him now! Gollum! Gollum!
No, no, no, no. I-I want to play. I do. I want to play. I can see you are very good at this. So, why don't we have a game of riddles? Yes, just-just-just you and me.
Yes. Just-just-just us.
Yes. Yes! And if I win, you show me the way out, yes?
Yes, yes!
And if it loses, what then?
Well, if it loses, precious, then we eats it! [to Bilbo] If Baggins loses, we eats it whole.
[Long pause]
Fair enough. [puts his sword away, Gollum looks at the sword, then Sméagol looks up at him innocently.]
But Baggins first.
[thinks for a moment]
Thirty white horses on a red hill. / First they champ, then they stamp, / Then they stand still.
[Pause, Sméagol thinks for a long moment]
Teef? [Teeth] [Bilbo has a look of defeat] TEEF! [Laughs] Oh, yes, my precious! But we... we only have...
Nine. [Shows his teeth, Bilbo shows a disgusted look] Our turn. Voiceless it cries / Wingless flutters / Toothless bites / Mouthless mutters.
Just a minute.
Oh! Ooh! We knows! We knows!
Shut up!
[snarls]
Very clever, hobbitses. Very clever...!
[pulls out his sword to prevent Gollum from attacking him]
A-a-a-a-a-a box without hinges, key, or-or lid / Yet golden treasure inside is hid.
Um... No, uh... Box. Uh, uh, uh, um... Box, a lid and a key...
Well?
It's nasty.
Box... Key, lid, and...
Do you give up?
Give us a chance, precious! Give us a chance! [strains his memory] EGGSES! Eggses! Wet, crunchy little eggses, yes! Grandmother taught us to suck them, yes! Yes!
We have one for you. All things it devours, birds, beasts, trees, flowers. Gnaws iron, bites steel, grinds hard stones to meal. Answer us.
[nervously]
Give me a moment, please! I gave you a good long while. [muttering to himself] Birds, beasts... Beasts? Trees, flowers... [out loud] I don't know this one.
Is it...tasty? [singsong voice] ♪Is it scruuuuumptiooooooooouuuuuuus??♪ [grabs Bilbo from behind] Is it crunchable?!
[Tries to think of the answer, but is stumped. Gollum grins.]
It's stuck. Bagginses is stuck... [pause] Time's up. [starts to crawl down]
[realizing]
Time. Time... [louder] The answer...is time. [Gollum groans in frustration] Ahem. Actually, it wasn't that hard.
Last question. Last chance. [picks up a rock]
'Bilbo': Okay... [thinks]
Ask us. [pause] ASK US!!
Yes, yes. All right. [he thinks, putting his hand in his pocket, he speaks to himself] What have I got in my pocket?
[believing Bilbo asked him a riddle]
That's... That's not fair. It's not fair! That's against the rules! [throws the rock down upset] Now ask us another one!
[realizing]
No. No, no, no. You said ask me a question. Well, that is my question. What have I got in my pocket?
Three guesses, precious. It must give us three. [holds up only two fingers]
Three guesses. Very well. Guess away.
Handses!
[searching through bones sitting by him]
Fishbones, goblins' teeth, wet shells... Bat wings... Oh... [paws the ground, groaning in frustration] KNIFE!!!
Oh, shut up!
Wrong again. Last guess.
String!
Or nothing.
Two guesses at once. Wrong both times. [Gollum tips over, falls, and starts crying] So... come then. I won the game; you promised to show me the way out.
Did we say so, precious? Did we say so? [looks at Bilbo suspiciously] What has it got in its pocketses?
That's no concern of yours. You lost.
"Lost"? "Lost"? "Lost"?! [reaches into his pocket for the Ring, but panics to find it missing]
Where is it? Where is it?! No! Where is it?! NOOOOO!!!!! No! Lost! Curse us and splash us, my precious is lost!
Mustn't ask us! Not its business! NO!!! Gollum! Gollum! [cries for a moment, Bilbo starts to feel pity for him, Gollum looks at his reflection in the water and his sadness slowly turns to anger]
What has it got in his nasty... little... pocketses?
[Bilbo holds the ring behind his back and points his sword at Gollum, who realizes that Bilbo has the ring]
He stole it. He stole it! AHHHH!!! HE STOLE IT!!!!! [throws a rock at Bilbo, who reflects it with his sword and runs off with Gollum on his tail]
