Don Shirley You never win with violence, Tony. You only win when you maintain your dignity.
Played by Mahershala Ali 
Green Book (2018) · 21 quotes
Green Book (2018) · 21 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Green Book (2018): in 16 of its 21 quotes
Most scenes with: Tony Lip (13)
Yes, I live in a castle, Tony! Alone. And rich white people pay me to play piano for them because it makes them feel cultured. But as soon as I step off that stage, I go right back to being just another negro to them. Because that is their true culture. And I suffer that side alone, because I'm not accepted by my own people 'cause I'm not like them, either. So if I'm not black enough and if I'm not white enough and if I'm not man enough then tell me, Tony, what am I!?
More lines from Don Shirley
1 quote Don Shirley Scenes with Don Shirley
14 scenes Don Shirley I am not a medical doctor. I'm a musician. I'm about to embark on a concert tour in the Deep South. What other experience do you have?
Public relations.
You know, when you first hired me, my wife went out and bought one of your records. The one about the orphans?
Don Shirley Orphans?
Yeah. Cover had a bunch of kids sittin' around a campfire?
Don Shirley Orpheus.
...Yeah.
Don Shirley Orpheus in the Underworld. It's based on a French opera. And those weren't children on the cover, those were demons in the bowels of Hell.
No shit! They must've been naughty kids!
Dr. Don Shirley I’ve been looking for you.
Yeah, sorry. The guys were having a little game.
Dr. Don Shirley Next time you need extra money, just ask me.
It’s more fun winning it.
Dr. Don Shirley And what if you lost?
Craps and cards. I don’t lose, Doc. I don’t lose.
Dr. Don Shirley So stooping down in the gravel pitching dice for pocket change makes you a winner?
What are you giving me shit for? Everybody was doing it.
Dr. Don Shirley They didn’t have a choice whether to be inside or out. You did. Now, wipe off your knees. You have dirt on them.
Don Shirley Before we pull out, Tony, we need to have a talk.
Yeah?
Don Shirley Oleg told me what you did.
What'd I do?
Don Shirley You stole a jade stone from the store.
No I didn't.
Don Shirley He watched you do it.
I didn't steal no stone.
Don Shirley You picked it up and put it in your pocket.
I picked up a rock off of the ground. I didn't steal it from a box.
Don Shirley Now why would you pick up a rock off the ground?
I don't know. Cause it ain't stealing. It's just a regular rock.
Don Shirley And why would you want a regular rock?
To have. For luck, maybe.
Don Shirley A lucky rock.
Yeah.
Don Shirley Let me see it. [Don holds out his hand; reluctantly Tony hands him the rock] Mm-hmm. Take it back and pay for it.
[swears in Italian]
I told you that Kraut was a snake. Rats me out for something I didn't even do!
Don Shirley Pay for the stone, Tony; you'll feel better.
I feel fine! And I ain't paying for no regular rock I found in the dirt. [starts to drive]
Don Shirley Do not drive, Mr. Vallelonga. [Tony stops] Put it back.
Don Shirley [after a brief pause, Tony reluctantly goes to the box, puts the stone back, and goes back to the car]
Feel better?
No.
Don Shirley If you like, Tony, I'd happily buy you the stone.
Don't bother. You took all the fun out of it.
Don Shirley What on God's green earth are you doing?
A letter.
Don Shirley Looks more like a piecemeal ransom note. May I? "Dear Dolores"... D-E-A-R. [taps paper] This is an animal. "I'm meeting all the highly leading citizens of the town. People that use big words, all of them. But you know me, I get by. I'm a good bullshitter." Two Ts in bullshitter. "As I'm writing this letter, I'm eating potato chips, and I'm starting to get thirsty. I washed my socks and dried them on the TV. I should have... brung... the iron..." You know this is pathetic, right?
Don Shirley Could you put out the cigarette, please?
Why?
Don Shirley I can't breathe back here.
What are you talkin' about? Smoke's going down my lungs. I'm doin' all the work here.
Ain't they supposed to be following us?
Don Shirley They have the itinerary. As long as they get to the show on time, I'm not worried about it, and neither should you.
I ain't worried about nothin'... In fact, when you see me worried? You'll know.
Don Shirley Tony...
You'll know if I'm worried...
Don Shirley How 'bout some quiet time? Hmm?
[Shrugging]
Sure. [Chuckles] It's amazing you said that. "How 'bout some quiet time?" Dolores, my wife, used to say that all the time... Well, not all the time but, y'know, she says it when, when I come home from work sometime, you know, she been with the kids all day and she'll say, "Tony? How 'bout some quiet time?" Exactly like how you said it! I mean, it's amazing...
Don Shirley Tony! I'm sorry about last night.
...Don't worry 'bout it. I been working nightclubs in New York City my whole life. I know it's a... complicated world.
I dunno. Personally I think if you stuck to the classic stuff it would've been a big mistake.
Don Shirley A mistake? Performing the music I trained my entire life to play?
Trained? What are you, a seal? People love what you do! Anyone can sound like Beethoven or Joe Pan or them other guys you said. But your music, what you do? Only you can do that!
Don Shirley Thank you, Tony. But not everyone can play Chopin. Not like I can.
Don Shirley So where did this "Tony the Lip" moniker come from?
[laughs]
It's not "Tony the Lip", it's "Tony Lip". One word. I got it when I was a kid 'cause my friends said I was the best bullshit artist in the Bronx. [Chuckles]
Don Shirley [Horrified]
Why are you smiling?
What do you mean?
Don Shirley It doesn't bother you that your friends – the people closest to you – consider you a liar?
Who said liar? I said bullshit artist!
Don Shirley And what's the difference?
'Cause I don't lie! Ever! I'm just good at talkin' people into... y'know, doin' things they don't wanna do... By bullshittin' 'em. [Grins]
Don Shirley And you're proud of that?
Well, it got me this job.
You know, if this got out, it would kill your career.
Don Shirley OK Tony, I need you to stop it with the phony altruism and concern for my career.
The hell's that mean?
Don Shirley You were only thinking about yourself back there because you know if I miss a show it'd come out of your pocketbook.
Of course I don't want you to miss a show, you ungrateful bastard! You think I'm doing this for my health? Tonight I saved your ass! So show a little appreciation, maybe! Besides, I told you never to go nowhere without me!
Don Shirley ...I assumed you'd want this to be the exception.
Don Shirley Yes. It's a shame we don't have something to protect us on our journey. Oh, I know. Why don't you put your lucky rock up on the dash, Tony? Come on, Tony, we need all the help we can get.
Don Shirley [Tony puts the stone on the dash]
Thank you. I feel safer already.
You're a real prick, you know that?
You know, Doc, something's been eating at me this whole trip.
Don Shirley Hmm?
That Titsburgh was a major disappointment. I didn't notice any difference at all. Did you?
Don Shirley Good night, Tony.
Dolores Hello.
Don Shirley You must be Dolores.
Dolores Welcome!
Don Shirley Buon natale. Thank you for sharing your husband with me.
Dolores Thank you for helping him with the letters.
