Dante Monkey, go karate chop that elephant!
Played by Peter Dante 
Grandma's Boy (2006) · 143 quotes
Grandma's Boy (2006) · 143 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Grandma's Boy (2006): in 29 of its 143 quotes
Most scenes with: Shilo (4), Alex (3)
I'll smoke it with you bro, we'll go to the looney bin together. I don't give a ****!
More lines from Dante
23 quotes Dante Dante Holy Shit! I am naked... Come on in!
Dante Suck those jugs, kid!
Dante The phone is for you. I think it's the Devil!
Dante Dude anyone can get past a dog, but nobody ****s with a lion!
Dante I'm not brown... I'm bronzed!
Dante Dude, you know you can't talk that loud when the lion comes!
Dante So I looked up in my tree, and there was the ****in king of the jungle. So I called the five-O!
Dante It's called the Brown Bomber. It'll get you so stoned you'll shit your pants!
Dante What is that ringing? Do I have a tumor?
Dante Drive monkey, DRIVE!!!!
Dante I'm way too baked to drive to the Devil's house!!!
Dante This shits ****in crazy!!!
Dante You mean by girlfriend that piece of rabbit fur you rub on your dick at night?
Dante Dude, that party was off the hook kid, your girl can drink her ****in face off!!!!!
Dante I got my yellow belt, monkey got his red belt....he's a quick learner!
Dante Shut up monkey, i've got company dude!
Dante You look like a bag of shit. You sure you don't wanna borrow my birthday suit?
Dante I feel like Tom Cruise in cocktail!
Dante It's tequila! It's supposed to **** you up!
Dante Oh my God! I am naked... Come on in!
Dante Hey, chill, bro. You know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion is here!
Dante This shit's ****in' crazy!
Scenes with Dante
5 scenes Dante That is pure **** insanity.
Yeah, he got addicted to hookers.
Dante No, I'm talking about the guy who threw your bong. You should never throw a bong kid... EVER!
Dante Oh hey Alex, I was just puttin up my Christmas tree.
Dude, it's July.
Dante Get the **** outta here, it is?!
Dante Where do you get your weed?
From you Dante!
Dante Oh yeah! What's up Mr. Cheezle!
Barry Hey Dante my girlfriend and I caught you on the news the other night...
Dante No shit And by Girlfriend do you mean that piece of rabbit fur you rub on your dick every night?
Barry [Laughing]
... yes... [Starts to cry]
Dude, why don't you pick up your phone? I've been calling for the past half hour!
Dante Sorry bro, I was putting up my Christmas tree.
Dude, it's the middle of July.
Dante Get the **** outta here! It is?!
Dude, why are you naked?
Dante Oooh shit, I am naked! Come in.
Your ass is tanner than my face.
Dante It's not tan, kid. It's bronzed.
