Get on that stool and put the rope around your neck. I have a different system, my friend; I don't shoot the rope, I shoot the legs from under the stool.
That could be cannon fire.
Thunder or cannon fire, it's all the same to you. Adios, Blondie.
I'll kill you.
If you do that... you'll always be poor... just like the greasy rat you are.
I'm an honest farmer! I’m innocent of everything!
Sheriff So you’re just an honest farmer. [unrolls wanted poster] You recognize this man?
Me?
Sheriff Yeah, it's you.
Who says so? You can't even read! Roll it up. Roll it up! I'll give you a good idea where you can put it!
I'm innocent! I'm an honest farmer!
Sheriff Come here, you! Just a simple farmer, eh? Who is this?
Me?
Sheriff Yeah, you.
Who says so? You can't even read! [the Sheriff rolls up the poster] Go ahead, roll it up! I'll give a good idea where to put it!
I'm very happy you are working with me! And we're together again. I get dressed, I kill him and be right back.
Listen, I forgot to mention... He's not alone. There's five of 'em.
Five?
Yeah, five of 'em.
So, that's why you came to Tuco. It doesn't matter, I'll kill them all.
The name of the cemetery is ... (hesitating) .. Sad Hill. Now it's your turn.
The name on the grave is ... Arch Stanton.
Arch Stanton? You sure?
Yeah. Sure I'm sure.
Wake up, you. There are troops coming.
Are they blue or gray?
Gray. They're gray like us. Let's say hello to them and then get going. [Shouting] Hurrah! Hurrah for the Confederacy! Hurrah! Down with General Grant! Hurrah for General— [to Blondie] What's his name?
Lee.
Lee. Lee! God's on our side 'cause He hates the Yanks, too! Hurrah!
What about our parents?
Pablo Only now do you think of them, to begin after nine years?
Nine years? So it's nine years. [laughs] Nine years!
Pablo Our mother has been dead a long time now. Our father died a few days ago. That's why I was away. He asked for you to be there, but there was only me.
You pig! You wanted to get me killed. When d'ya unload it?
Last night. You see in this world there's two kinds of people my friend - those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.
Union Captain Whoever has the most liquor to get the soldiers drunk and send them to be slaughtered, is the winner.
Glad they got him. A man guilty of all those crimes!
People with ropes around their necks don't always hang.
What do you mean?
Even a filthy beggar like that has a protecting angel.
A golden-haired angel watches over him.
God's with us because he hates the Yanks too!
God's not on our side because he hates idiots also.
Public official [reads off Tuco's crimes]: Wanted in fourteen counties of this state, the condemned is found guilty of the crimes of murder, armed robbery of citizens, state banks and post offices, the theft of sacred objects, arson in a state prison, perjury, bigamy, deserting his wife and children, inciting prostitution, kidnapping, extortion, receiving stolen goods, selling stolen goods, passing counterfeit money, and contrary to the laws of this state, the condemned is guilty of using marked cards. Therefore, according to the powers vested in us, we sentence the accused here before us, Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez...
Blondie [to himself]: ... known as the "Rat"...
Public official [continues]: ... and any other aliases he might have, to hang by the neck until dead. May God have mercy on his soul. Proceed!
