Ghost World quotes
29 total quotes
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Rebecca: Hey, you see that guy over there?
Enid: Which one?
Rebecca: The blond guy over there. [Enid spots him and rolls her eyes] He gives me, like, a total boner.
Enid: He's, like, the biggest idiot of all time.
Reggae fan: [walking past with his friends] You guys up for some reggae tonight?
Rebecca: [after Enid lifts her hand, as if to say "See what I mean?"] OK, you're right.
Enid: Which one?
Rebecca: The blond guy over there. [Enid spots him and rolls her eyes] He gives me, like, a total boner.
Enid: He's, like, the biggest idiot of all time.
Reggae fan: [walking past with his friends] You guys up for some reggae tonight?
Rebecca: [after Enid lifts her hand, as if to say "See what I mean?"] OK, you're right.
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Rebecca: Oh, it's that comedian I was telling you about. [turns up the volume on her television, which is showing an odd-looking man performing stand-up comedy]
Joey McCobb: [on the TV] ...I still live with my mother people think I'm peculiar.
Rebecca: He's the absolute worst.
Joey McCobb: So what if she's been dead for fifteen years?
Rebecca: See? That's barely even a joke.
Joey McCobb: Well, it's like I always say—take my life... please.
TV announcer: Joey McCobb, the weirdest man in show business.
Enid: If he's so weird, how come he's wearing Nikes? [switches the TV off] Joey McCobb is our god.
Rebecca: I want to do him.
Enid: I bet. Actually, he kind of reminds me of that one guy you went out with, Larry. God, what look was he going for, a gay tennis player from the '40s?
Rebecca: **** you.
Enid: You dated him.
Joey McCobb: [on the TV] ...I still live with my mother people think I'm peculiar.
Rebecca: He's the absolute worst.
Joey McCobb: So what if she's been dead for fifteen years?
Rebecca: See? That's barely even a joke.
Joey McCobb: Well, it's like I always say—take my life... please.
TV announcer: Joey McCobb, the weirdest man in show business.
Enid: If he's so weird, how come he's wearing Nikes? [switches the TV off] Joey McCobb is our god.
Rebecca: I want to do him.
Enid: I bet. Actually, he kind of reminds me of that one guy you went out with, Larry. God, what look was he going for, a gay tennis player from the '40s?
Rebecca: **** you.
Enid: You dated him.
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Rebecca: Oh, look, there he is.
Enid: As always.
Rebecca: Waiting for the bus that never comes.
Enid: I wonder if he's just totally insane or he really thinks the bus is coming?
Rebecca: Why don't you just ask him?
Enid: Hi. What's your name?
Norman: Norman.
Enid: Are you waiting for a bus?
Norman: Yes.
Enid: I hate to tell you this, but they canceled this bus line two years ago. There are no more buses on this street.
Norman: You don't know what you're talking about.
Enid: As always.
Rebecca: Waiting for the bus that never comes.
Enid: I wonder if he's just totally insane or he really thinks the bus is coming?
Rebecca: Why don't you just ask him?
Enid: Hi. What's your name?
Norman: Norman.
Enid: Are you waiting for a bus?
Norman: Yes.
Enid: I hate to tell you this, but they canceled this bus line two years ago. There are no more buses on this street.
Norman: You don't know what you're talking about.
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Rebecca: You should check out the personals. Maybe our future husbands are trying to contact us.
Enid: Here we go. "Windsurfing doctor, Mensan IQ, maverick Sagittarius. Let's hit the clubs, make each other laugh."
Rebecca: You can have that one.
Enid: Jesus, listen to this one. "Do you remember me, airport shuttle, June 7? You, striking blond with yellow dress, pearl necklace, brown shoes. I was the bookish fellow in the green cardigan who helped you find your contact lens. Am I crazy, or did we have a moment?"
Rebecca: God, that's so pathetic. I mean, she probably didn't even notice him.
Enid: I know, and he's, like, psychotically obsessing over every little detail.
Rebecca: We should call him and pretend to be the blond.
Enid: Oh, we totally have to.
Enid: Here we go. "Windsurfing doctor, Mensan IQ, maverick Sagittarius. Let's hit the clubs, make each other laugh."
Rebecca: You can have that one.
Enid: Jesus, listen to this one. "Do you remember me, airport shuttle, June 7? You, striking blond with yellow dress, pearl necklace, brown shoes. I was the bookish fellow in the green cardigan who helped you find your contact lens. Am I crazy, or did we have a moment?"
Rebecca: God, that's so pathetic. I mean, she probably didn't even notice him.
Enid: I know, and he's, like, psychotically obsessing over every little detail.
Rebecca: We should call him and pretend to be the blond.
Enid: Oh, we totally have to.
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Roberta: [looking at a drawing of a man smashing another man's head in with a sledgehammer] What can you tell us about your piece, er... Phillip?
Phillip: Er... it's about The Mutilator.
Roberta: My goodness!
Phillip: It's a really great video game about a guy who kills people with a big hammer.
Roberta: Oh. I thought maybe this was supposed to be your father. [gives a little laugh. Phillip looks confused]
Phillip: Er... it's about The Mutilator.
Roberta: My goodness!
Phillip: It's a really great video game about a guy who kills people with a big hammer.
Roberta: Oh. I thought maybe this was supposed to be your father. [gives a little laugh. Phillip looks confused]
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Seymour: So, was that your boyfriend?
Enid: Josh? He's nobody's boyfriend. He's just this guy that Becky and I like to torture.
Enid: Josh? He's nobody's boyfriend. He's just this guy that Becky and I like to torture.
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Sidewinder boss: Hey! Hey, you! How many times I tell you? No shirt, no service! Get the hell out of my store! What do you think this is, Club Med?
Doug: It's America, dude. Learn the rules.
Sidewinder boss: Learn the rules? No, you learn the rules! We Greeks invented democracy!
Doug: You also invented homos.
Sidewinder boss: **** you!
Doug: You wish. You'll buy me dinner first!
Doug: It's America, dude. Learn the rules.
Sidewinder boss: Learn the rules? No, you learn the rules! We Greeks invented democracy!
Doug: You also invented homos.
Sidewinder boss: **** you!
Doug: You wish. You'll buy me dinner first!
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Weird Al: Hi. My name is Allen and I'll be your waiter this afternoon.
Enid: Hi, Al.
Rebecca: Can we call you "Weird Al"?
Weird Al: I'd imagine so.
Enid: Hi, Al.
Rebecca: Can we call you "Weird Al"?
Weird Al: I'd imagine so.
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Zine-O-Phobia creep #1: Whoever told you that bullshit about boiling is out of his mind. Carpet beetles are the only way to get flesh off a corpse.
Zine-O-Phobia creep #2: I'm just telling you what he said.
Enid: [having just walked into the store] Don't you creeps ever talk about anything nice? Don't you ever talk about fluffy kittens or the Easter Bunny?
Zine-O-Phobia creep #1: [looking at Enid's green hair and leather jacket] Look who's talking, Little Miss Badass.
Zine-O-Phobia creep #2: Yeah, nice outfit. Who are you supposed to be, Cyndi Lauper?
Enid: Blow me, doofus.
Zine-O-Phobia creep #2: I'm just telling you what he said.
Enid: [having just walked into the store] Don't you creeps ever talk about anything nice? Don't you ever talk about fluffy kittens or the Easter Bunny?
Zine-O-Phobia creep #1: [looking at Enid's green hair and leather jacket] Look who's talking, Little Miss Badass.
Zine-O-Phobia creep #2: Yeah, nice outfit. Who are you supposed to be, Cyndi Lauper?
Enid: Blow me, doofus.
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[At the graduation ball]
Todd: Hey, Rebecca.
Rebecca: Oh, hi.
Todd: So, we finally—
Enid: What about me? Am I not even here?
Todd: Hey. Hey, Enid. [turns back to Rebecca] So, we finally made it, huh?
Rebecca: Yeah.
Todd: So, uh, where are you... uh, where are you gonna go to college?
Enid: We're not.
Todd: Really? Both of you? Why not?
Enid: Just because.
Rebecca: Yeah, we made other plans.
Todd: I guess I should have figured that you two would do something different.
Enid: So, Todd, what are you gonna be when you grow up?
Todd: Well, I'm majoring in Business Administration and thinking of minoring in Communications, so—
Enid: See, that's exactly the type of thing we're trying to avoid. [pulls Rebecca away] Look at this. Is Stacy Himmler going out with Rod Harbaugh?
Rebecca: Oh, God. How perfect.
Enid: He'd better watch out or he'll get AIDS when he date-rapes her.
Todd: Hey, Rebecca.
Rebecca: Oh, hi.
Todd: So, we finally—
Enid: What about me? Am I not even here?
Todd: Hey. Hey, Enid. [turns back to Rebecca] So, we finally made it, huh?
Rebecca: Yeah.
Todd: So, uh, where are you... uh, where are you gonna go to college?
Enid: We're not.
Todd: Really? Both of you? Why not?
Enid: Just because.
Rebecca: Yeah, we made other plans.
Todd: I guess I should have figured that you two would do something different.
Enid: So, Todd, what are you gonna be when you grow up?
Todd: Well, I'm majoring in Business Administration and thinking of minoring in Communications, so—
Enid: See, that's exactly the type of thing we're trying to avoid. [pulls Rebecca away] Look at this. Is Stacy Himmler going out with Rod Harbaugh?
Rebecca: Oh, God. How perfect.
Enid: He'd better watch out or he'll get AIDS when he date-rapes her.
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[Enid and Rebecca try to call on Josh at his apartment, but there's no answer at the door]
Enid: I bet he's in there jerking off.
Rebecca: I bet he never jerks off.
Enid: Yeah, he's beyond human stuff like that.
Rebecca: Should we leave a note?
Enid: Yeah. You got a pen?
Rebecca: Yeah. [pulls out a pen]
Enid: [takes a tag left on Josh's door handle and starts writing on it, leaning on Rebecca's back] "Dear Josh, we came by to **** you, but you were not home. Therefore, you are gay. Signed Tiffany and Amber." [puts it back on Josh's door handle]
Rebecca: You're gonna leave that?
Enid: Why not?
Enid: I bet he's in there jerking off.
Rebecca: I bet he never jerks off.
Enid: Yeah, he's beyond human stuff like that.
Rebecca: Should we leave a note?
Enid: Yeah. You got a pen?
Rebecca: Yeah. [pulls out a pen]
Enid: [takes a tag left on Josh's door handle and starts writing on it, leaning on Rebecca's back] "Dear Josh, we came by to **** you, but you were not home. Therefore, you are gay. Signed Tiffany and Amber." [puts it back on Josh's door handle]
Rebecca: You're gonna leave that?
Enid: Why not?
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[In a cafe, a shy young man has just given them a flyer, telling them that his band is playing there on Friday night]
Enid: God, what a dork.
Rebecca: You're just jealous.
Enid: Trust me, at this point, I'm past the fact that every single guy likes you better than me.
Rebecca: Oh, face it. You just hate every single guy on the face of the earth.
Enid: That's not true. I just hate all these extroverted, obnoxious, pseudo-bohemian losers.
Enid: God, what a dork.
Rebecca: You're just jealous.
Enid: Trust me, at this point, I'm past the fact that every single guy likes you better than me.
Rebecca: Oh, face it. You just hate every single guy on the face of the earth.
Enid: That's not true. I just hate all these extroverted, obnoxious, pseudo-bohemian losers.
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[Seymour is trying to interest a fellow collector in a record he's selling]
Paul: It has a large center hole and a hair crack.
Seymour: But the crack is so tight, it's completely inaudible.
Paul: But a tight hair crack is just that—a crack. I don't collect cracked records. I only pay premium on mint records. Seymour, you know that. Please.
[Paul walks away. Enid, who has been listening, goes up to Seymour]
Enid: So, what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?
Paul: It has a large center hole and a hair crack.
Seymour: But the crack is so tight, it's completely inaudible.
Paul: But a tight hair crack is just that—a crack. I don't collect cracked records. I only pay premium on mint records. Seymour, you know that. Please.
[Paul walks away. Enid, who has been listening, goes up to Seymour]
Enid: So, what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?