Get a Clue (2002) · 7 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Get a Clue (2002): in 6 of its 7 quotes
Most scenes with: Lexy (6)
Hedda who?
Jack You call yourself a writer. You should know. She was the most famous gossip columnist ever.
I am not a gossip columnist. I give advice. The article in the Daily Examiner is a human interest piece.
Jack Right. Sure it is.
Oh, no. That detective thinks that Miss Dawson has something to do with Mr. Walker's disappearance and it's my fault.
Jack Don't flatter yourself. She's the lead suspect without your big mouth.
The only thing she is guilty of is loving him.
Jack That's definitely a crime. Why can't you tell it like it is? She threatened him. We both heard it.
She didn't. She said this school wasn't big enough for the two of them. Besides, she's too petite to murder.
Jack Well, didn't you ever hear of Lizzie Borden?
I think I've heard of Dizzie Borden.
Jack I'm not scared. I didn't wanna upset the detective. He seemed kinda strange.
That's because he was not a detective.
Jack What? And you know this because?
Because a New York detective could never afford a platinum watch, a Pumoni suit and alligator boots.
Jack Besides, how can you tell a Pumoni suit from across the room?
Trust me, I can spot a knockoff from a mile away and that was the real thing. Same with the watch. The best. Platinum band, 18-carat accents and mother-of-pearl dials that allow you to check any two time zones simultaneously. It's the ultimate in chic. Just call it my New York sensibility hard at work.
Jack Wow, who'd of thought that your insane obsession with material objects would come in handy?
I'll take that as a compliment.
Jack Look, Brooklyn's not fancy like the Upper East Side, okay? I like it here. Everybody's cool. I bet you don't know your neighbors, right?
We don't have neighbors. We own the whole floor, but I did meet the people below us when I overflowed the bathtub once.
Jack Right. Overflowed the bathtub.
Jack I like to bowl.
I hear that you have to wear shoes that other people have worn.
Jack Real bowlers have their own shoes. I'm not sure, but I think they have their own socks and underwear too, but that's the really good bowlers.
