****, this hurts so much.
I know it hurts. But it's life, and it's real. And sometimes it **** hurts, but it's life, and it's pretty much all we got.
Andrew Largeman (Large)
Zach Braff · 22 quotes
Sam
Natalie Portman · 18 quotes
Mark
Peter Sarsgaard · 9 quotes
Most scenes together: Andrew Largeman (Large) & Sam (7), Andrew Largeman (Large) & Mark (3)
Garden State quotes
Page 1 of 3Hey Albert
Albert Yeah?
Good luck exploring the infinite abyss.
Albert Thank you, and Hey, you too .
I think we've corrupted this innocent girl enough for one day!
I'm not innocent.
Yes, you are. That's what I like about you, okay? And I don't want this guy taking you to some sketchy quarry in the middle of Newark to find crack whores huffing turpentine or pit bulls raping each other, or whatever else is down here!
Man, that's the most worked up I've ever seen you.
He's protecting me.
So?
He likes me!
Don't be cute.
He's my knight in shining armor.
Don't talk about knights around Mark. it's a sore subject.
I'm gonna kill that mother****er.
Pun intended?
So what were you really doing there?
Charging. I'm a robot.
Do you lie a lot?
What do you consider a lot?
Enough for people to call you a liar.
People call me lots of things.
Is one of them liar?
I could say no, but how would you know I'm not lying?
I guess I could choose to trust you.
You can do that?
I can try.
You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your shit that idea of home is gone.
I still feel at home in my house.
You'll see when you move out. It just sort of happens one day, one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I don't know maybe it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start. It's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.
You're a cop, Kenny?
Kenny Yeah, I know.
Why?
Kenny I don't know, man. Had nothing better to do. Plus, the benefits are great, you know? If I get shot on the job, I'm like, ummmm... rich!
But Kenny, the last time I saw you, you were doing coke lines off a urinal.
Kenny I know, I know, man... but it was time for me to grow up, you know? Plus, I wasn't making shit at that fish market. No one knew who I was. I couldn't get laid. Yeah, it's a much better situation for me now.
Diego Raise your hand if you just saw some titties
Diego [Mark, Largeman and Sam raise their hands tentatively]
Ok. Now everybody calm the **** down!
Kenny Your mom just died! ..... I mean, that's why you're home.
Oh, you mean Gymnastics Tina? How did she do it?
I don't know. She isn't Jewish, I didn't bury her.
Karl Benson I think it was painkillers. Or that car in the garage thing.
Oh, guys, don't stay in here all day. I had to take the batteries out of the carbon monoxide detector. It was beeping all night.
Dr. Cohen You know, our bodies are capable of doing some very funny things when they're consumed by stress and anxiety. I found my ex-best friend's cufflinks in my wife's purse. I couldn't get an erection for a year and a half...for example.
Tim By the way, it says "Balls" on your face.
My mom did it.
Jesse Dude, maybe you should stay over by the steps. I don't know CPR.
You look like a wet beaver.
Diego Who just saw some titties?
Diego [Mark, Largeman and Sam raise their hands tentatively]
Ok. Now everybody calm the **** down!
Rude Girl Customer
I'll have a Ketel Cosmo, with Red Bull, and some bread, ASAP.
We don't have bread.
Rude Girl Customer
What do you mean you don't have bread, how can you not have bread?
We're a Vietnamese restaurant. We just don't have bread.
Rude Girl Customer
Well, you're not Vietnamese.
No, I'm not.
Rude Girl Customer
Can I have something to chew on? ****, bamboo! Whatever!
I'll see what I can find.
I haven't even lied in like, the past two days.
Is that true?
No.
We're not gonna make out or anything, okay?
What?
Oh, I'm sorry. I just totally ruined that moment, didn't I?
Well, don't try anything funny, 'cause my uncle's a bounty hunter and he can have you tracked and killed.
You're such a liar.
Mark's Mom: Don't be shy, Tim, tell them what you said to me last night.
Tim No...
Tell us what you said to her last night!
Tim [In Klingon]
Kiteeki maru, al fooksu.
You have got to be kidding me.
Mark's Mom: It means "I like to mate after battle."
Tim That isn't what I said.
Mark's Mom: Yeah...
Tim NO, that isn't the one I said! This one means "Kill Kirk".... and also, "hallelujah", depending on the context...