Otto [Repeatedly]
Don't call me stupid!
Most-quoted character in A Fish Called Wanda (1988): in 32 of its 41 quotes
Most scenes with: Ken (2)
Well, Ken... I'm going to ask you some questions, while I eat my chips. First, who was the philosopher who developed the concept of the superman in Also sprach Zarathustra? No? That's a chip up the nose, I'm afraid.
More lines from Otto
29 quotes Otto Otto It's K-K-K-Ken, coming to k-k-kill me!
Otto What was the middle thing?
Otto Asshole!
Otto I used to kill for the C.I.A.
Otto A pound says you won't kill her.
Otto Are you thinking or are you mid-stutter?
Otto Hey! Great fish! A little squeeze of lemon, some tartar sauce - perfect!
Otto So the old lady's gonna m-m-meet with an accident, eh, K-K-Ken?
Otto I had a good friend in the CIA, had a stutter. Cost him his life, damn it.
Otto I mean, what the **** are you doing robbing your own house?
Otto It's a Buddhist meditation technique, focuses your aggression. The monks used to do it before they went into battle.
Otto I don't believe in jealousy. It's for the weak. One thing, though. Touch his dick and he's dead!
Otto Now, about my sister. Look, she's a very sexy girl. I understand you wanting to play around with her. It's OK, I was wrong. I'm sorry I was jealous. Just go ahead. Pork away, pal. **** her blue.
Otto Disappointed!
Otto You're the Vulgarian, you ****! Now apologise.
Otto We did NOT lose Vietnam it was a tie.
Otto I love looking at your ass when you walk is that beautiful or what?Don't go near him, HE'S MINE!!!
Otto Come on Wanda. Gullet time.
Otto The British contribution to world cuisine, the chip. What do the English eat WITH chips to make them more interesting? WAIT A MOMENT, it's FISH isn't it?
Otto (singing in the middle of sex)
VOLARE!!!!
Otto Hello K-K-K-Ken's P-P-P-Pet's. Hey wake up, WAKE UP LIMEY FISH!!!
Otto Oh you English are SO superior aren't you. Well would like to know where you'd be without US the good old USofA to protect you? The smallest **** province in eastern Europe thats where, so DON'T call me stupid lady just THANK me. If it wern't for us you'd all be speaking German, singing Deustchland Deutstchland uber alles.
Otto To be honest I hate them with their stupid phoney accents. Not you Ken you have a beautiful speaking voice, when it works.
Otto (to Ken at various times)
Hello Honey!
Otto You spineless Bimbo.
Otto Excuse me sir. Airport security can I see your passport please, and boarding card... Oh look the Queen. (Man turns to look Otto knocks him out)
Otto You English! You think you're so superior, don't you? Well you're the filth of the planet! A bunch of pompous, badly dressed, poverty stricken, sexually repressed football hooligans!
Otto Oh look, it's K-K-Ken! C-C-Coming to k-k-kill me! How you gonna c-c-catch me, K-K-Ken?
Scenes with Otto
2 scenes
Are you really Italian?
Otto Absolutamente. Sì. My name is Otto. It means 'eight'.
But you think you're an intellectual, don't you, ape?
Otto Apes don't read philosophy.
Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it! Let me correct you on a few things; Aristotle was not Belgian! The central message of Buddhism is not "Every man for himself!" And the London Underground is not a political movement! Those are all mistakes. I looked them up.
Otto tried to k-k-k-kiss me.
I thought he might.
I'm sorry about my brother, Ken. I know he's insensitive. He's had a hard life. Dad used to beat him up.
Good.
Otto You know your problem? You don't like winners.
Winners?
Otto Yeah, winners.
Winners, like North Vietnam?
Otto Shut up. We didn't lose Vietnam. It was a tie.
[Cowboy-like drawl]
I'm tellin' you, baby, they kicked your little ass there. Boy, they whooped yer hide real good!
Otto No they didn't.
Oh Yes they did.
Otto Oh no they... SHUT UP! Goodbye Archie.
Gonna shoot me Otto?
Otto Er Yes. Yes friad so old chap sorry.
Otto You're really sorry?
I'm really really sorry. I apologize unreservedly.
Otto You take it back?
I do. I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.
Otto OK.
Otto You really like animals, don't you Ken? What's the attraction?
Because you can t-t-trust them, and they don't sh-sh-sh...
Otto Shit on you?
Show off all the time.
And when he heard your daughter's name was Portia...
Yes?
He said, why did they name her after a car?
There's something f-f-funny going on.
Otto Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. You don't even know why you're excited.
I saw...
Otto Ken, Ken, Ken! I didn't wanna say anything with George here, but isn't it time you faced reality? Come on! You're a very attractive man, Ken. You're smart. You've got wonderful bones, great eyes, and you dress really interestingly.
Wh-what...
Otto We could have fun together, you and I. And I think we'd be really good for each other. What do you say?
You must be j-j-j...
Otto May I kiss you?
No, you **** can't!
Otto Just a peck! No tongue! Ken!
No!
Otto Guess I'll have to ask you an easy one, eh, Ken? OK. Um... Let me think, let me think. Um... Where are the diamonds? I'll give you a clue. Somewhere around the airport.
I'm n-n-n...
Otto No hassle. There's plenty of time. I'll just sit here and eat my chips till you tell me. The English contribution to world cuisine: the chip. What do the English usually eat with chips to make them more interesting? Wait a moment! It's fish. Isn't it? [Dipping into the fish tank with a net] Oh! Here, boy. Down the hatch. [Eats the fish] Delicious!
You b-b-b...
Otto Better eat the green one? OK. What's this one's name? Well, not Wanda, anyway. I'm going to call her Lunch. Hello, Lunch. Hello! [Eats the fish] Ew! Avoid the green ones - not ripe yet.
Shut up and think. Where's he moved it?
Otto [Fires his gun into the empty safe]
What are you doing?
Otto I'm thinking!
Otto When you say "friendly", what are we talking about here? Cordial? Courteous? Supportive? What?
I don't know. Let's just see what happens.
Otto So, "friendly" might include actual, uh, what? Penetration?
[Puts the gun in Otto's back and pushes him to the wall]
Otto OK, OK, OK, OK. Don't get excited. OK, OK, OK. Oh, it's you! I was actually worried there.
Keep your hands up.
Otto No!
Put 'em up!
Otto I'll make a deal with you. I'll put one up.
Put the other one up!
Otto Which looks better?
I'm warning you, Otto.
Otto What are you gonna do? Shoot me? Gun me down in cold blood like a dog? Hey! If you wanna settle something with me, why don't you fight me? You're a man, aren't you? Let's fight like men! Come on!
How come a girl as smart as you has a brother who's so...
Otto Don't call me stupid.
Wendy Goodnight Archie, GOODNIGHT ARCHIE!
Goodnight Wanda.
What's h-happening?
Otto Well, Ken. I'm going to ask you a series of questions while I eat my chips. First, who was the philosopher who developed the concept of the Superman in Thus Spake Zarathustra?
(dumbstruck)
Otto No? That's a chip up the nose, I'm afraid. (sticks his chips up Ken's right nostril) Friedrich Nietzsche! Next. In which book did Nietzsche claim that all almost all higher culture is based on cruelty?
(opens mouth)
Otto Are you thinking or in mid-stutter?
You're m-m-mad.
Otto (sticks a chip up Ken's other nostril)
Beyond Good and Evil! Guess I'll have to ask you an easy one, eh, Ken? OK. Um... Let me think, let me think. Um... Where are the diamonds? I'll give you a clue. Somewhere around the airport.
I'm n-n-n...
Otto No hassle. There's plenty of time. I'll just sit here and eat my chips till you tell me. The English contribution to world cuisine: the chip. What do the English usually eat with chips to make them more interesting? Wait a moment! It's fish. Isn't it? [Dipping into the fish tank with a net] Oh! Here, boy. Down the hatch. [Eats the fish] Delicious!
You b-b-b...
Otto Better eat the green one? OK. What's this one's name? Well, not Wanda, anyway. I'm going to call her Lunch. Hello, Lunch. Hello! [Eats the fish] Ew! Avoid the green ones - not ripe yet.
