Abigail
If your husband dies?
Lady Sarah
Did you not sacrifice your **** for a fatty German to save your father?
Abigail
Yes.
Lady Sarah
There is always a price to pay. I am prepared to pay it.
Abigail
Obviously you still have some anger issues. I will allow it this once.
Lady Sarah
Congratulations on your wedding night.
[Abigail snorts dismissively]
Abigail
My dear friend and cousin, how good to see you've returned from...
Lady Sarah
Hell. I'm sure you shall pass through it one day.
Abigail
You should lie down.
Queen Anne
You shall speak when asked to! I feel dizzy, I need to hold on to something.
[she grabs Abigail's hair]
Abigail
You're so beautiful.
Queen Anne
Stop it, you mock me.
Abigail
I do not. If I were a man, I would ravish you!
Lady Sarah
Abigail has done this. She does not love you.
Queen Anne
Because how could anyone? She wants nothing from me. Unlike you.
Lady Sarah
She wants nothing from you. And yet somehow she is a lady. With 2000 a year, and Harley sits on your knee most nights.
Queen Anne
I wish you could love me as she does!
Lady Sarah
You wish me to lie to you? "Oh you look like an angel fallen from heaven, your majesty." No. Sometimes, you look like a badger. And you can rely on me to tell you.
Queen Anne
Why?
Lady Sarah
Because I will not lie! That is love!
Lady Sarah
Anne, you are too sensitive.
Queen Anne
And you are too mean and uncaring, some days.
Lady Sarah
Some days I'm quite lovely though. Let's think on them!
Lady Sarah
None for the queen.
Queen Anne
What?
Lady Sarah
Well you cannot have hot chocolate. Your stomach, the sugar inflames it.
Queen Anne
Abigail, hand me that cup!
Lady Sarah
Do not.
Abigail
I'm sorry I do not know what to do.
Lady Sarah
Oh fine, give it to her. And you can get a bucket and mop for the aftermath.
Queen Anne
They were all staring, weren't they? I can tell even if I can't see. And I heard the word fat! Fat and ugly!
Lady Sarah
Anne, no one but me would dare and I did not.
I wish to make a statement to the queen.
Lady Sarah
State it to me. I love a comedy. Is there cake?
Obviously you have chosen to keep the particulars of your dismissal from me. I shall leave a gap in the conversation for you to remedy that.
I do not know of women and their feelings, but I know they nurse their hurts like wailing newborns.
Lady Sarah
Godolphin, I have a surge of desire to see your nose broken. Your point?
Lady Sarah
If you do not go, I will start kicking you and I will not stop.
Lady Sarah
Your mascara is running. If you want to fix yourself we can discuss this later.
Abigail Hill
As it turns out, I'm capable of much unpleasantness.
Queen Anne
Did you just look at me? Did you!? Look at me. Look at me! [the servant looks at her] HOW DARE YOU!? CLOSE YOUR EYES!