Casey Conner quotes from The Faculty (1998)

Casey Conner

If you were going to take over the world, would you blow up the White House, Independence Day style, or sneak in through the back door?

Casey Conner

You wouldn't have liked it here anyway.

Casey

Everyone's been acting really weird, especially the faculty.

Stokely

Tell me about it, it's like they've all turned into **** pod people or something.

Casey

Into what people?

Stokely

Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Small town gets taken over by aliens... That was a joke.

Casey. Man, the only person in this school whose an alien is you.

Casey

**** you, Zeke.

Stokely

Body Snatchers is a story somebody made up, dingus. It's located in the fiction section of the library.

Casey

Yeah, so is Schindler's List.

Stokely

What are we going to do with the police not being an option?

I could call my dad, he'd know what to do.

Casey

If he's really your dad anymore.

Casey

God, you can be such a...

What?

Casey

Pretty cool human being when you're not being a first class grade A bitch.

Are you hitting on me Casey?

Casey

No. No, I just think that you can be cool. Sometimes. This not being one of them.

Hey yo, pisswad, you're in my way.

Casey

I'm sorry. I was breathing here.

Yeah, that's the problem. You're occupying my air, you anal probe.

Stokely

So they've just been setting us up over the years with their E.T.'s and their Men In Black movies, just so no one would believe it if it ever happened.

Casey

I think so.

Marybeth

You know, in my world Casey, there were limitless oceans as far as the eye could see. Beautiful, huh? Till it started to dry out. So I escaped, came here, and I met you, all of you. And all of you were different from the others. You were lost and lonely, just like me. And I thought that maybe I could give you a taste of my world. A world without anger, without fear, without attitude. Where the underachiever goes home at night to parents who care. The jock can be smart, the ugly duckling beautiful, and the class wuss doesn't have to live in terror. And the new girl, well - the new girl, she can just fit right in with anybody. People who are just like her. You see Casey, even Marybeth's feelings can be hurt by a bunch of pathetic, lost, little outcasts who truly believe that their disaffected lonely life is the only way they can survive. I can make you a part of something so special, Casey, so perfect, so fearless... Don't you want that, Casey?

Casey

I'd rather be afraid!

Marybeth

Fine. All right. Have it your way! 'Cause this is where your land of fiction gets it right: we win. End of story!