Father Joseph Dyer Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
Played by Ed Flanders 
The Exorcist III (1990) · 30 quotes
The Exorcist III (1990) · 30 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in The Exorcist III (1990): in 11 of its 30 quotes
Most scenes with: Lieutenant Kinderman (4)
Go in peace, my child. May the Schwartz be with you.
More lines from Father Joseph Dyer
5 quotes Father Joseph Dyer Father Joseph Dyer I've been standing out there for centuries. Four new popes have been elected. That's a lot of white smoke.
Father Joseph Dyer I once spent a year hearing childrens's confessions and I wound up a lemon drop junkie. The little wierdos keep breathing it on you along with all that pot. And between the two of them, I've got a feeling it's probably addictive.
Father Joseph Dyer We're going to live forever, Bill. We're spirits.
Father Joseph Dyer No, Bill. I'm not dreaming.
Scenes with Father Joseph Dyer
5 scenes
Man
Joey, what did you say to that defendant Tom Lowery? He's our biggest benefactor.
Father Dyer Oh, yes.
Man
What did you say to him?
Father Dyer "Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole."
The whole world is a homicide victim, Father. Would a god who is good invent something like death? Plainly speaking, it's a lousy idea. It's not popular, Father. It's not a winner.
Father Dyer There you go, blaming God.
Who should I blame? Phil Rizzuto?
Father Dyer You wouldn't want to live forever.
Yes, I would.
Father Dyer No, you wouldn't. You'd get bored.
I have hobbies.
In the meantime, we have cancer and mong***id babies and murderers, monsters prowling the planet, even prowling this neighborhood. Father... right now, while our children suffer, and our loved ones die, and your god goes waltzing blithely through the universe like some kind of cosmic Billie Burke.
Father Dyer Bill, it all works out right.
When?
Father Dyer At the end of time.
That soon?
Father Dyer No, we're going to be there. We're going to live forever, Bill. We're spirits.
How I would love to believe that.
Father Dyer It's that kid that got killed on the dock, isn't it? I heard it on the news. You want to talk about it? You knew him.
Little bit. Police boys club. His name was Thomas... Thomas Kintry. Black boy, about 12 years old. The killer... drove an ingot into each of his eyes, then cut off his head. In place of his head was the head from a statue of Christ, all done up in blackface, like a minstrel show, you know, the eyes and the mouth painted white. Mr. Bones... The boy had been crucified... on a pair of rowing oars.
You know, I wonder if both of us are dreaming this.
Father Dyer No, Bill. I'm not dreaming.
Father Dyer There isn't, my brother Eddie had these same stupid symptoms for years.
Your brother Eddie died at the age of 30.
Father Dyer So what? He got killed in Vietnam.
There could have be some connection.
Father Dyer A connection?
Are you sure this isn't serious, Joe?
Father Dyer Well, with Eddie, there was--
Will you shut up about Eddie?!
Father Dyer With my brother, it was nerves.
You make a lot of people nervous.
Father Dyer Only sinners.
EVERYBODY!
Nurse Blaine Is everything all right in here, guys?
WE'RE FINE!
Father Dyer Well, call the desk and book a room.
I brought you a hamburger, father.
Father Dyer I'm not hungry.
Eat half, it's from Clyde's.
Father Dyer Where'd the other half come from?
Space, your native country.
Nurse
[out in the hallway]
WHO STUCK THIS GUY?!
Father Dyer Nice and peaceful here, isn't it?
Idyllic.
