Most scenes together: Ira Kane & Harry Block (5)
Dr. Allison Reed There's something I've been wanting to tell you, but I don't know exactly how.
Well, we're all adults here, and we're all about to die a very horrible death anyway, so?
Reed I would've rocked your world.
You already have.
Keep your chin up. You know she wanted to give you some, didn't you?
Were you even in that courtroom?
Getting barbecued like baby back ribs? It's all foreplay, baby.
Forget the foreplay. We just got screwed!
Ira Kane, head of the science department, Glen Canyon Community College.
Harry Block, United States Geological Survey.
Wayne Grey Wayne Grey. Did some chemistry in high school.
Dr. Allison Reed What do we do?
Dr. Paulson We might have to amputate.
Nurse Tate Saw.
Whoa, Doc, don't take my leg! Ira, don't let them take my leg.
Isn't there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete.
Nurse Tate Wait, doctor, look.
Paulson Ooh. [looks in bug inside, crawling] It's headed for his testicles.
Take it, take it! Take the leg!!
Reed Wait, wait, wait!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Reed It's going the other way.
Paulson Alright, give me some forceps. I might be able to catch it in his colon.
Reed How are you going in?
Paulson Rectally.
NOOOO!
Tate I'll get the lubricant.
Paulson There's no time for lubricant.
THERE'S ALWAYS TIME FOR LUBRICANT!!
Snag one?
Yeah, snag one and put it in the bucket.
I've seen this movie, the black dude dies first. You snag it.
Wayne! I think we've established that "Ca-caw, ca-caw" and "Tookie, tookie" don't work.
Wayne Grey Right. Sorry. [starts singing into the mike] You are so beautiful to me.
Step back, Harry, I'm gonna shoot him.
Uh-uh, stand down. I'm taking this one out myself.
Grey You are so beautiful to me.
Wayne, would you please stop? You're embarrassing me.
Let's shampoo us some aliens!!
All she needs is a good humping. [mocks Reed while "demonstrating" sex] Oh Ira! I-i-i-i-ra...OOOH IRA!
Allow me to share something with the entire class. Last night as I was grading papers, I came across two gems both entitled "Cells are Bad" and both with just one paragraph which I unfortunately committed to memory: "Cells are bad. My uncle lives in a cell. It's ten foot by twelve and he has to read the same old, boring magazine everyday. The end". And although my standards are nowhere near where they used to be, I still could not bring myself to put an "A" on top of those beauties. I hope you understand, guys.
