N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

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View Quote [Muffled sound of Mrs. Connelly's very loud TV] I saw myself in the mirror and I thought it was my mother's tush.
View Quote Tara: God, you're such a good squeezer, Nancy.
View Quote Herman: I don't want it tickety boo, I want it tickety now!
View Quote Officer Dan: It's my experience that wives don't accidentally shoot their husbands in the penis.
View Quote Nancy Kendricks: Besides, do you realize how much the duplex is going to be worth once we get both floors?
Alex Rose: I know how much it costs.
Nancy Kendricks: Well it's going to be worth like a bazillion times that.
Alex Rose: Really? A bazillion? That's an incredible return.
View Quote Alex Rose: We brought you this little housewarming gift. [Gives Mrs. Connelly a bottle of wine]
Mrs. Connelly: Oh, that's very kind of you, thank you. I'll open it for you. I don't drink myself, it's a sin.
Alex Rose: [To Nancy] Irish Catholics don't drink?
Mrs. Connelly: Sit down, dears, sit down! I brought ya a little something to nibble on as well.
Alex Rose: Oh, Bugles. Wow, I didn't realize they even still made Bugles.
Mrs. Connelly: [Offering Alex a Bugle dipped in French onion dip] Come along, dear, it's French onion.
[Alex nibbles it while looking at the box of Bugles. The expiary date reads 'October 1997']
Alex Rose: Magnificent parrot.
Mrs. Connelly: It's not a parrot, dear. He's a macaw. He's named after my late husband, Richard. I've had Little Dick for forty years.
[Alex and Nancy smile]
Mrs. Connelly: Now tell me about yourselves. What do you do, Allen?
Alex Rose: [Correcting her] Alex.
Nancy Kendricks: Alex is a writer.
Mrs. Connelly: Oh, a writer. I always thought of that as more of a hobby than a real job. I suppose I'm forgettin' about Joyce.
Alex Rose: Joyce, James Joyce, of course. Wonderful writer.
Mrs. Connelly: He died drunk and penniless.
Nancy Kendricks: Well, Alex's first novel was published in hardback, and he's just about to finish his second one.
Mrs. Connelly: Oh, what's it about?
Alex Rose: Well, I like to call it an urban epic. It's about three generations of this family in New York that own a printing press, and I tell a story mainly about...
Mrs. Connelly: [Bored, cutting him off] Oh, that's nice. Let me give you a refill. Big Dick had the taste, too. He was a seaman. The drink took him from me in 1963. We'd been married for 58 years.
[Nancy counts silently]
View Quote Alex Rose: I wonder how old she is.
Nancy Kendricks: My guess is that she's somewhere between 95 and 105.
View Quote Alex Rose: I'm sorry, I don't hear anything.
'Mrs. Connelly: It was very distinctive. The pipes went 'bang bang, bangety bang bang... bang, bang.
View Quote Herman: Nancy, did you finish the Celebrity Scene page?
Nancy Kendricks: Oh, tickety boo.
Herman: I don't know what that means.
Nancy Kendricks: It means you'll have it soon.
Herman: Well if you mean I'll have it soon, then why don't you say 'I'll have it soon'? I mean, 'tickety boo' is just confusing, for everybody!
View Quote Nancy Kendricks: Were you napping?
Alex Rose: No! I was... I was just rearranging my book collection.
Nancy Kendricks: In the dark?
Alex Rose: And then I just shut my eyes, for a second...
Nancy Kendricks: Look! I got a pea****!
Alex Rose: What does it do?
Nancy Kendricks: It's there to be decorative and look pretty and be aesthetically pleasing.
View Quote Herman: And what do you do, Chick?
Chick: I'm a pornographer. Let me give you my card, you know, just in case.
View Quote Mrs. Connelly: I always thought it was strange, your husband staying home while you were out there, providin'.
Nancy Kendricks: Well, he's a writer.
Mrs. Connelly: [laughs] Writer? The man naps more than a newborn pup. What's he writing about, sheep?
Nancy Kendricks: Is there something, Mrs. Connelly?
Mrs. Connelly: Oh, I guess ya could say there was something! I've got 'something' on display in my kitchen.
[Cut to a scene in Connelly's kitchen]
Nancy Kendricks: That is not a mouse dropping, it's a raisin.
Mrs. Connelly: That is the leavings of a mouse.
Nancy Kendricks: It's a raisin!
[Nancy puts the raisin in her mouth. Her expression turns to disgust as she hacks up the raisin]
Mrs. Connelly: I spayed it with Lysol.
View Quote Mrs. Connelly: [Regains consciousness and notices Nancy's hands on her chest] What are ya doin'?!
Nancy Kendricks: You were choking on a chocolate.
[Connelly looks at Alex, who has lipstick on his lips from when he was reviving her]
Alex Rose: You choked on a chocolate.
Mrs. Connelly: Awww!
[Cut to the police station]
Officer Dan: Go on, Mrs. Connelly.
Mrs. Connelly: The last thing I remember, I ate one of their chocolates. When I woke up, he was havin' his way, and she was holdin' me down!
Alex Rose: No, no, I was trying to save her life!
Mrs. Connelly: He stole my drawers once. For sniffin'!
Alex Rose: That's ridiculous! She was choking on a chocolate so I gave--
Officer Dan: DO... shut up.
View Quote Nancy Kendricks: Come on, come on. We don't have much time.
Alex Rose: I know, she's running errands. That only gives us twelve hours.
View Quote Nancy Kendricks: Poor Mr. Peabody!
Alex Rose: He took one for the team.
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