N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z #

[Renfield is having breakfast with Dr. Seward. He sees a bug on the table and eats it]
Dr. Seward: I was just telling Ma—what was that?
Renfield: Huh?
Dr. Seward: You just grabbed something from the table.
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Seward: Yes you did, I saw you, you put it in your mouth. I think it was an insect.
Renfield: [thinks of an alibi] Oh, that was a raspberry.
Dr. Seward: Raspberry? We're not serving raspberries.
Renfield: Then it must have been a raisin. I guess it fell off the muffin. See? There's one missing.
[The two men laugh. Renfield sees a spider coming towards him, and he quickly eats it up]
Dr. Seward: How silly of me! It must have been my imagin—there, you did it again!
Renfield: Huh?
Dr. Seward: You just put a bug in your mouth. I think it was a spider!
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Seward: Yes, you did.
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Seward: Yes, you did.
Renfield: I did not.
Dr. Seward: [shouts] I tell you I saw you snatch a spider right out of the air and eat it!
Renfield: A spider?
[Swallows the spider in his mouth]
Renfield: How absurd!
[A grasshopper jumps onto the patio. He intentionally throws his fork]
Renfield: Oh! Dropped my fork! [gets on all fours and scrambles under the table for the insect]
Dr. Seward: Mr. Renfield, what are you doing down there? This is most unseemly!
Renfield: Fork found! [Comes back up] Sorry for the delay.
[The grasshopper's leg is sticking out of Renfield's mouth, and wriggling about]
Dr. Seward: My God, man! You're eating insects right from the ground!
Renfield: ...What makes you say that?
Dr. Seward: I can see one trying to get out of your mouth!
Renfield: Out of my mouth?
Dr. Seward: Yes, out of your mouth! Your very own mouth and it's wriggling about!
Renfield: Don't be ridiculous! Wriggling!
Dr. Seward: I'm not ridiculous at all! It's wriggling all over the place! The poor thing, it's fighting for its life!
[Renfield eyes the grasshopper's leg, which has fallen from his mouth and quickly scoops it up]
Renfield: I don't know what you're talking about. If you insist on ranting like this, I'm going to leave!
Dr. Seward: Me, ranting? You're the ranter!
[Renfield spots a fly]
Renfield: [to the fly] Hello, little darling!
[Grabs the air in attempt to catch the fly]
Renfield: Don't be afraid!
[Laughs in a strange tone]
Renfield: I won't hurt you! All I want is your life!
[Renfield does a body slam across Dr. Seward's lap, and knocks everything off the table. Renfield is soon grabbed by two asylum attendants.]
Dr. Seward: That's it! Put him in a straight jacket and give him an enema! Wait! Wait, wait... Give him the enema FIRST. THEN put him in a straight jacket.

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