TV customer [watching a black and white television program in the showroom]
Is this show in color, or is there something wrong with the set?
'Shrevie' Schreiber
Daniel Stern · 3 quotes
Timothy Fenwick, Jr.
Kevin Bacon · 3 quotes
Billy Howard
Tim Daly · 2 quotes
Modell
Paul Reiser · 2 quotes
Eddie Simmons
1 quote
Diner quotes
TV customer 
Beth You know, Elyse's mother is very upset with Eddie. You see, they picked out this yellow-and-white motif for the wedding. You know, like we did - napkins, tablecloths, bridesmaids, maid-of-honor, the whole bit. Anyway, Eddie objected. He wanted blue-and-white, Colts colors. Refused to give in.
So?
Beth Well, you know how stubborn Eddie is.
Could've been worse. Could've been black-and-gold, Steelers colors.
Boogie You know I got plans.
Bagel Always a dreamer, hey, Boog?
Boogie If you don't have good dreams, Bagel, you got nightmares.
OK, now ask me what's on the flip side.
Beth Why?
Just, just ask me what's on the flip side, OK?
Beth What is on the flip side?
Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey!, 1958. Specialty Records.
[Beth nods blankly]
See? You don't ask me things like that, do you? No! You never ask me what's on the flip side.
Beth No! Because I don't give a shit. Shrevie, who cares about what's on the flip side about the record?
I do! Every one of my records means something! The label, the producer, the year it was made. Who was copying whose style... who's expanding on that, don't you understand? When I listen to my records they take me back to certain points in my life, OK? Just don't touch my records, ever! You! The first time I met you? Modell's sister's high school graduation party, right? 1955. And Ain't That a Shame was playing when I walked into the door!
Stripper
[about marriage]
You?
Stripper
No girl?
Not really. Just in love.
Stripper
Does the girl know?
Yeah, I told her about it.
Stripper
Told her? Didn't you show her?
[to his older brother]
It's funny. You know, when I was a little kid I always wanted a brother. I told that to mom once and she said, "You have a brother". I said, "Oh, so that's who the asshole in the other bed is".
All I did was I parked the car on a nice lonely road, I looked at her, and I said **** or fight.
Do you ever get the feeling that there's something going on that we don't know about?
I'll hit you so hard, I'll kill your whole family.
If you want to talk, you always have the guys at the diner. You don't need a girl if you wanna talk.
We all know most marriages depend on a firm grasp of football trivia.
When you're dating, everything is talking about sex. Where can we do it? Why can't we do it? Are you parents gonna be out so we can do it? Everything is always talkin' about getting sex, and then planning the wedding, all the details. But then, when you get married... it's crazy, I dunno. You can get it whenever you want it. You wake up in the morning and she's there. You come home from work and she's there. So all that sex planning talk is over with. And so is the wedding planning talk, 'cause you're already married. So... ya know I can come down here and we can bullshit the entire night away but I cannot hold a 5 minute conversation with Beth. I mean it's not her fault, I'm not blaming her, she's great... It's just, we got nothing to talk about... But it's good, it's good.
You know what word I'm not comfortable with? Nuance. It's not a real word. Like gesture. Gesture's a real word. With gesture you know where you stand. But nuance? I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong.