John Milton A woman's shoulders are the front lines of her mystique, and her neck, if she's alive, has all the mystery of a border town. A no-man's land in that battle between the mind and the body.
Most-quoted character in The Devil's Advocate (1997): in 34 of its 43 quotes
Most scenes with: Kevin Lomax (16), Alice Lomax (15)
Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, don't swallow. Ahaha. And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, ****in' ass off. He's a tight-ass. He's a sadist. He's an absentee landlord. Worship that? Never.
More lines from John Milton
15 quotes John Milton John Milton Who, in their right mind Kevin, could possibly deny the twentieth century was entirely mine?
John Milton Freedom, baby... is never having to say you're sorry.
John Milton Guilt is like a bag of ****in' bricks. All ya gotta do is set it down.
John Milton The worst vice is advice.
John Milton Vanity, definitely my favorite sin.
John Milton I nursed him through two divorces, a cocaine rehab, and a pregnant receptionist. God's creature, right? God's special creature. I've warned him, Kevin. I've warned him every step of the way. Watching him bounce around like a **** game. Like a wind-up toy. Like pounds of self-serving greed on wheels. The next thousand years is right around the corner. Eddie Barzoon... take a good look because he's the poster child for the next millennium. These people, it's no mystery where they come from. You sharpen the human appetite to the point where it can split atoms with its desire. You build egos the size of cathedrals. Fiber-optically connect the world to every eager impulse. Grease even the dullest dreams with these dollar-green gold-plated fantasies until every human becomes an aspiring emperor, becomes his own god. Where can you go from there? As we're scrambling from one deal to the next, who's got his eye on the planet? As the air thickens, the water sours, even bees honey takes on the metallic taste of radioactivity... and it just keeps coming, faster and faster. There's no chance to think, to prepare; it's buy futures, sell futures.. when there is no future. We got a runaway train, boy. We got a billion Eddie Barzoons all jogging into the future. Every one of them is getting ready to fist**** God's ex-planet, lick their fingers clean, as they reach out toward their pristine, cybernetic keyboards to tote up their **** billable hours. And then it hits home. You got to pay your own way, Eddie. It's a little late in the game to buy out now. Your belly's too full, your dick is sore your eyes are bloodshot and you're screaming for someone to help. But guess what, there's no one there! You're all alone, Eddie, 'CAUSE YOU'RE GOD'S SPECIAL LITTLE CREATURE. (Calming down). Maybe it's true. Maybe God threw the dice once too often. Maybe He let us all down.
John Milton Free will, it is a bitch.
John Milton I'm the hand up Mona Lisa's skirt. I'm a surprise, Kevin. They don't see me coming: that's what you're missing.
John Milton Free will. It's like butterfly wings: once touched, they never get off the ground. No, I only set the stage. You pull your own strings.
John Milton Call me Dad.
John Milton There's this beautiful girl just **** me forty ways from Sunday... we're done, she's walking to the bathroom, she's trying to walk, she turns... she looks... it's me. Not the Trojan army just **** her. Little ol' me. She gets this look on her face like: "How the hell did that happen?"
John Milton Don't get too cocky my boy. No matter how good you are don't ever let them see you coming. That's the gaffe my friend. You gotta keep yourself small. Innocuous. Be the little guy. You know, the nerd... the leper... shit-kickin' serf. Look at me. [He stops and pauses.] Underestimated from day one. You'd never think I was a master of the universe, now would ya?
John Milton Law is the ultimate backstage pass. There are now more students in law schools than lawyers walking the streets.
John Milton You've got to marshal your strength. Prioritize. Conserve your energy.
Scenes with John Milton
18 scenes
"Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven", is that it?
John Milton Why not? I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began. I've nurtured every sensation man's been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him. Why? Because I never rejected him, in spite of all his imperfections. I'm a fan of man. I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist.
Eddie Barzoon Just this room.
And a bedroom?
Eddie Barzoon No bedroom.
Where does he sleep?
Eddie Barzoon Who said he sleeps?
Where does he ****?
John Milton [coming up to them]
Everywhere.
Are we negotiating?
John Milton Always.
John Milton Are we negotiating?
Always.
John Milton YEAH!!!!!
What about love?
John Milton Overrated. Biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate.
John Milton It's your wife, man. She's sick, she needs you; she's got to come first. Ah, wait a minute, wait a minute. You mean the possibility of leaving this case has never even entered you mind?
You know what scares me? I quit the case, she gets better.... and I hate her for it. I don't want to resent her, John, I've got a winner here. I've got to nail this ****er down, do it fast, and put it behind me. Just get it done. Then- Then- put all my energy into her.
John Milton I stand corrected.
What are you?
John Milton Oh, I have so many names.
Satan.
John Milton Call me Dad.
John Milton [Chanting in Latin]
Diaboli virtus in lumbas est. Diaboli virtus in lumbas est. [continues the chant in English] The virtue of the devil is in his loins.
In the Bible you lose. We're destined to lose, Dad.
John Milton Well consider the source, son.
Lose? I don't lose! I win! I'm a lawyer, that's my job, that's what I do!
John Milton I rest my case.
John Milton Your vanity is well-placed. Your son will sit at the head of all tables.
The Anti-Christ?
John Milton [laughing]
Whatever....
John Milton What about you? Your family, you gotta miss 'em.
John Milton [Mary Ann shakes her head no.]
No?
Mary Ann Lomax
I told Kevin the only thing worse than not having a father was having mine.
John Milton I can relate. I can, believe me.
John Milton Are we treating you good?
Yeah, everything's been great.
John Milton We kill you with kindness, that's our secret.
John Milton You were right about one thing. I have been watching. Couldn't help myself. Watching, waiting, holding my breath. But I'm no puppeteer Kevin, I don't make things happen. Doesn't work like that.
What did you do to Mary Anne?
John Milton Free will, It's like butterfly wings. One touch and it never gets off the ground. I only set the stage. You pull your own strings
What did you do to Mary Anne?
John Milton A gun? In here?
Goddammit what did you do to my wife!
John Milton Well, on a scale of one to ten -ten being the most depraved act of sexual theatre known to man, one being your average Friday night run-through at the Lomaxes' household.... I'd say, not to be immodest, Mary Ann and I got it on at about.... seven.
**** you! (shoots his gun at him)
John Milton Whoa! Got me! Damn! Yeah! .... Come on! Step on up son! Come on that's good! Yea, you got to hold on to that anger, you got to hold on to that fury. That's the last thing to go, that's the final hiding place, it's the final fig leaf.
Who are you?
John Milton Who am I? Who are you? Never lost a case. Why? Cause you're so ****in' good. Yeah? But why?
Cause you're my father.
John Milton I'm a little more than that, Kevin. Awfully hot in that courtroom wasn't it? What's the game plan Kevin? It was a nice run, Kevin. Had to close out some day. Nobody wins them all.
What are you?
John Milton Aww, I have so many names
Satan?
John Milton .... Call me Dad.
Mary Anne, she knew it. She knew it so you destroyed her.
John Milton You blaming me for Mary Anne? Oh I hope you're kidding. Come on, Mary Anne in New York? You could have saved her anytime you wanted. All she wanted was love. Hey, you were too **** busy. Face it, you started lookin' for a better deal than her the minute you got here.
You don't know that, you don't know what we had.
John Milton Hey, I'm on your side
You're a liar!
John Milton Wait Kevin, there's nothing out there for ya. Don't be such a **** chump; stop deluding yourself. I told you to take care of your wife. I told you the world would understand. What did you do? [imitates Kevin's voice] "Ya know what scares me John, I leave the case, she gets better, and then I hate her for it." Remember?
It was a test! Your test!
John Milton Who told you to pull out all the stops on Mr. Gettys?
You set me up!
John Milton And Moyez, the direction you took. Popes, Swamis, Snake Handlers all feeding from the same trough. Whose ideas were those?
It's entrapment- you set me up!
John Milton And Cullen! Knowing he was guilty! Seeing those pictures! What did you do? You put that lying bitch on the stand (laughs)
You PLAYED me!
John Milton What did I say to you? WHAT WERE MY WORDS TO YOU? Maybe it was your time to lose. You didn't think so.
Lose? I don't lose! I win! I win! I'm a lawyer, that's my job, that's what I do!
John Milton I rest my case. Vanity is definitely my favorite sin. Self-love, it's so basic. It's look like you didn't care for Mary Ann, Kevin. You're involved with someone else: Yourself.
You're right. I did it all. I let her go.
John Milton Don't be too hard on yourself, Kevin. You wanted something more.
I let her go and I'm just going to keep moving.
John Milton You cannot keep on punishing yourself, Kevin. It's awesome how far you've come. I didn't make it easy. Not for you.... [Christabella Andreoli appears] or your sister. Half-sister, to be exact.
Why the law? Cut the shit, Dad! Why the lawyers? Why the law?
John Milton Because the law, my boy, puts us into everything. It's the ultimate backstage pass. It's the new priesthood, baby. Did you know there are more students in law school than lawyers walking the Earth?
Milton You cannot keep punishing yourself, Kevin. It's awesome how far you've come! I didn't make it easy. Couldn't. Not for you… [Christabella appears] or your sister. Well, half-sister, to be exact.
Christabella Surprise.
Milton Some scene, huh, Kevin?
Christabella Don't let him scare you, eh?
Milton Kevin, I've had so many children, I've had so many disappointments, mistake after mistake. And then there's you—the two of you.
What do you want from me?
Milton I want you to be yourself. You know, I'll tell you, boy: guilt, it's like a bag of **** bricks. All you gotta do is set it down.
Christabella Hey, I know what you're going through. I've been there. Just come here. Come here, yeah. Let it go, yeah…
I-I can't do that.
Milton Who are you carrying all those bricks for, anyway? God? Is that it? God? Well, I tell you, let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do? I swear, for His own amusement—His own private, cosmic gag reel—He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. "Look, but don't touch." "Touch, but don't taste!" "Taste, don't swallow." [laughs] And while you're jumping from one foot to the next, what is He doing? He's laughing His sick **** ass off! He's a tight-ass! He's a sadist! He's an absentee landlord. Worship that? Never!
"Better to reign in Hell, than to serve in Heaven", is that it?
Milton Why not? I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began! I've nurtured every sensation man has been inspired to have. I cared about what he wanted, and I never judged him. Why? Because I never rejected him, in spite of all his imperfections! I'm a fan of man! I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist. Who, in their right mind, Kevin, could possibly deny the 20th century was entirely mine? All of it, Kevin! All of it. Mine. I'm peaking, Kevin. It's my time now. It's our time.
Milton Virtue of the Devil is in his loins.
What about love?
Milton Overrated. Biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate.
Other characters in The Devil's Advocate
More Al Pacino characters
Tony Montana
Michael Corleone
Michael Corleone
Michael Corleone
Vincent Hanna
Carlito Brigante
Frank Slade
Ricky Roma