Mr. Parker
It's a clinker! That blasted, stupid funace.
Mr. Parker
[walks down the stairs and falls the rest of the way down]
Dadgummit! Damn skates! For Christ's sake, open up the damper, will you? Who the hell turned it all the way down again? Ah, blasted! You beast!
Ralphie (as an adult)
In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obscenity that, as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.
