Scenes with Jeremy
6 scenes
Junkman What is this heap of old iron doin' here?
BC Bill Coggins
Old iron?
Junkman I'll give ya ten bob for it.
BC Bill Coggins
Please do not be daft. This was once such a great car; it won the British Grand Prix three years running.
Junkman (chuckles greedily)
So it's a car eh it? (touches the broken wheel)
Jeremy Certainly it is a car!
It's a racing car and we're winning!
Jeremy And you are in the way!
Junkman (rudely)
And you are in the way of a belt wrapped around your ear young man, if I have any more of your lip!! All right. I will give ya 15 bob for it.
BC Bill Coggins
Make it 30 and she is yours.
(shocked)
Mr. Coggins, you are not selling her, are you!?
Junkman (furiously)
Of course he's goin' to sell her!! Whattaya think he is runnin' here?! A children's playground or something?!! All right 30 bob. I will pick her up Wednesday.
Jeremy And I'm Jeremy.
That's a very pretty name.
Now, where is your house?
Jeremy Oh, we don't live in a house.
We live a castle. On top of a hill.
[laughs]
A castle? I didn't know there were any castles around here.
Well, it isn't a castle exactly.
Jeremy That's what Daddy calls it. He says King Alfred used to live there hundreds of years ago.
And does your Daddy know you aren't in school?
Oh, he won't mind. He never does.
Jeremy Anyway, he's awful busy.
Is he? Well, he'll have to find time to see me because I have a few things to say to him.
The nerve of that woman! Coming in here and telling me how to raise my children! Do I need someone telling me how to raise my children? Do I? Where is my cardigan?
Under-. Yes. Self-righteous busy body. Well, she won't be bothering us anymore.
Jeremy So did I. She was very pretty.
She certainly was. Do you think your father's a crackpot?
Jeremy Your cardigan's inside out.
What? Oh. Do you think I'm a lunatic? Wasting my time on a lot of silly inventions?
But they aren't silly! They're wonderful!
Jeremy Nobody else can think of them.
That's right! That is right! Nobody else can think of them.
Jeremy Daddy made it.
[laughs]
Oh? And it actually goes?
It's called Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
That's a curious name for a motorcar.
But that's the sound it makes. Listen.
Jeremy He's terrible!
Not only that, he isn't even nice!
And after that, Vulgaria became a free country and all the children laughed and played in the sunshine, and they were very, very happy. And Chitty flew high over the mountains back to England, everyone safe and sound, and...
And Daddy and Truly were married.
Jeremy And lived happily ever after.
Is that how the story ends?
[pauses]
It's getting late. We'd better be getting back. [gets out to restart the car]
Other characters in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
