New Jersey quotes from Buckaroo Banzai (1984)

Rawhide

Dr. Banzai is using a laser to vaporize the pineal tumor without damaging the quadrigeminal plate. Subcutaneous microphones are gonna allow the patient to transmit verbal instructions to his own brain.

Like, "Raise my right arm"?

Rawhide

Or "Throw the harpoon". People are gonna come from all over. This boy's an Eskimo.

Buckaroo Banzai

You ever thought about joining me full-time?

New Jersey

Do you have an opening?

Buckaroo Banzai

Uh huh. Can you sing?

New Jersey

A little. Yeah. I can dance...

I don't care if you walked through a mountain in Texas. This is New Jersey, and when you play my... [distracted by someone walking past him] ...when you play my joint, you're just another act. I want some music out'a you characters!

You want it, Artie? You got it.

Dad! Dad! Buckaroo's in trouble!

Say what?!

Don't embarrass us.

Buckaroo Banzai

Have I ever?
[about the thermo-pod] Buckaroo Banzai: It flies like a truck.

John Parker

Good. [pause] What is a truck?
[as the thermo-pod is in free-fall] Buckaroo Banzai:: Can't you fly this thing?

John Parker

I'm a diplomat! I failed flight school!

Mr. President, I am a soldier. And I'm a damn good one. I've got enough decorations to snap a Christmas tree. All I'm trying to say is, and I hope I speak for everyone in this room, is that I am scared. I'm barely holding my... fudge, right now.

Stop acting like a goddamn schoolgirl, General, and pull yourself together!

President Widmark

I'm glad someone has the balls to face facts!

New Jersey

Where are we?

Buckaroo Banzai

I'd hate to tell you.

New Jersey

Why is there a watermelon there ?

I'll tell you later.

Get away from that car, or I'll drink your blood!

Whatcha got there, son? That's not... real, is it?

Get 'em up!

Lord John Whorfin

Full speed ahead! And may I remind you, to fasten your-a seat belts, and esstinguish all smoking material.

John Bigboote

We haven't a CHANCE! Your overthruster's for SHIT! We'll lose...

Lord John Whorfin

One more WORD out of you, Bigbooty...

BIG-BOO-TAY! TAY! TAY!

Buckaroo, the White House wants to know is everything OK with the alien space craft from Planet 10 or should we just go ahead and destroy Russia?

Buckaroo Banzai

Tell him yes on one and no on two.

Which one was yes, go ahead and destroy Russia... or number 2?

{As New Jersey and Reno are making their way through the lab, New Jersey notices a watermelon held in a pneumatic compression device}

New Jersey

Why is there a watermelon there?

{after a pause} I'll tell you later.

{New Jersey and Buckaroo are in an operating room, performing brain surgery}

New Jersey

See, this is the part where for me it started to look like a problem. You know, I wanted to sacrifice the Precentral vein to order to get some exposure, but because of this guy's normal variation I got excited and all of a sudden I didn't know whether if I was looking at the Precentral vein or one of the internal cerebral veins or the vein of Galen or the Basilar vein of Rosenthal. So on my own, me, at this point I was ready to say, "That's it. Let's get out."

Buckaroo Banzai

See, you can check your anatomy all you want, and even though there may be normal variation, when you get right down to it, this far inside the head, it all looks the same. {pause} No, no, no, no. Don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to.