What's your name?

What's yours?

Claire.

Ka-Laire?

Claire. It's a family name.

Oh, it's a fat girl's name.

Well, thank you.

You're welcome.

I'm not fat!

Well, not at present but I could see you really pushing maximum density. You see, I'm not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people. There's fat people that were born to be fat, and then there's fat people that were once thin but they became fat, so when you look at them you can sorta see that thin person inside! You see, you're gonna get married, you're gonna squeeze out a few puppies and then, uh...

[He mimes becoming fat, making noises. Claire gives him the finger.]

Oh...obscene finger gestures from such a pristine girl!

I'm not that pristine!

Are you a virgin? I'll bet you a million dollars that you are! Let's end the suspense! Is it gonna be...a white wedding?

Why don't you just shut up?

Have you ever kissed a boy on the mouth? Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off...hoping to God your parents don't walk in?

Do you want me to puke?

Over the panties, no bra, blouse unbuttoned, Calvin's in a ball on the front seat past eleven on a school night?