Ted
[Using his ghost powers on his father]
I totally possessed my dad!
Most-quoted character in Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (1991): in 7 of its 13 quotes
Most scenes with: Bill (5)
This is not like I expected at all! We got totally lied to by our album covers.
More lines from Ted
1 quoteScenes with Ted
5 scenes
Ted
Your probably noticed we havent given you our gifts yet.
That's because...
Ted
Um...
Um...
Bill and Ted
'cuse us dude.
[Bill and Ted take their girlfriends to oposite sides of the pool] [Takes out a folded piece of paper from his pocket]
I wrote this myself.
Ted
[Also takes out a folded piece of paper from his pocket]
I wrote this last night.
Ted
[Begins to read]
Elizabeth.
[The two talk simultaneously]
As I wander through this dark and lonely forest of life, surrounded by various beast, Bears, vipers, squirrels. Not to mention small tree growing lichen, woodpeckers, slugs, gila monsters. Oh no, that's the desert.
Ted
As I swim through this dark and fearful sea of existance, surrounded by various creatures, sharks, eels, yellowtail, and also barnacles, and algae, man-o-wars, starfish, blowfish, catfish. Uh oooh, that fresh water.
The point is, I know we promised you a better life.
Ted
What mean is we told you the future had some really good stuff.
But all that stuff hasn't happened.
Bill and Ted
But it will, I hope.
Ted
The day after tomorrow, if things workout.
What I mean is....
Bill and Ted
[Turn to each other and give a shrug. Then turn back to their girlfriends.]
Ted
Will you...
...Marry us.
Elizabeth
Theodore...
Joanna
...I'd love to.
Bill and Ted
[Smile, take out a plastic pink and purple heart ring. Holds it up for the other see that they suceeded, and then places it on their respectible girlfriend's finger. The then give a quick air guitar to the other, and recieve a kiss on the cheek by their girlfriends.]
Grim Reaper
I believe Colonel Mustard did it in the study with a candlestick.
Sorry, death, you lose! It was Professor Plum!
Grim Reaper
I said Plum!
Dead Ted
No way! You said Mustard! Can we go back now?
Grim Reaper
Uh, best three out of five!
Dead Ted
I don't believe this guy!
Hey Ted. Don't fear the reaper.
Grim Reaper
[air guitar]
I heard that!
Ted
Your probably noticed we haven't given you our gifts yet.
That's because...
Ted
Um...
Um...
Bill and Ted
'scuse us dude. [take their girlfriends to opposite sides of the pool]
Ted
[Also takes out a folded piece of paper from his pocket]
I wrote this last night.
Ted
[Begins to read]
Elizabeth.
[The two talk simultaneously]
As I wander through this dark and lonely forest of life, surrounded by various beasts... Bears, vipers, squirrels. Not to mention small tree growing lichen, woodpeckers, slugs, gila monsters. Oh no, that's the desert.
Ted
As I swim through this dark and fearful sea of existence, surrounded by various creatures... Sharks, eels, yellowtail, and also barnacles, and algae, man-o-wars, starfish, blowfish, catfish. Uh oooh, that's fresh water.
The point is I know we promised you a better life.
Ted
What mean is we told you the future had some really good stuff.
But all that stuff hasn't happened.
Bill and Ted
But it will, I hope.
Ted
The day after tomorrow, if things work out...
What I mean is....
Bill and Ted
[Turn to each other and give a shrug. Then turn back to their girlfriends.]
Ted
Will you...?
...Marry us?
Elizabeth
Theodore...
Joanna
I'd love to. [Bill and Ted smile, take out a plastic pink and purple heart ring. Holds it up for the other see that they succeeded, and then places it on their respective girlfriend's finger. They then give a quick air guitar to the other, and receive a kiss on the cheek by their girlfriends.]
Ted
[Bill and Ted take up Death's challenges, with one game being Clue]
What's he doing?
I don't know.
Death
I believe Colonel Mustard did it in the study with a candlestick.
[Opens case envelope and shows card]
Sorry, Death. You lose. [shows card] It was Professor Plum.
Death
I said "Plum."
Ted
[stands in protest]
No way. You said "Mustard"! Can we go back now?
Death
Best 3 out of 5.
Ted
[angry]
I don't believe this guy!
Ladies and gentleman, we've been to the past, we've been to the future.
Ted
We've been all around the afterlife.
And you know?
Ted
The best place to be is here...
...And the best time to be is now, and all's we can say is...
Bill and Ted
...Let's rock!
