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Jeffrey 'The Dude' Lebowski quotes

Look, let me explain something. I'm not Mr. Lebowski. You're Mr. Lebowski. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. That or His Dudeness... Duder... or El Duderino, if, you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing...

Everything's a ****ing travesty with you, man!

Mind if I do a J?

(After being drugged) All the dude ever wanted... was his rug back.

(After he finds the Nihilists have set his car on fire) Well they finally did it, man...They killed my ****ing car.

Shit, I know that guy. He's a nihilist. Karl Hungus...

I've had a rough night and I hate the ****ing Eagles, man.

Mr. Treehorn treats objects like women, man!

(Trying to find a comeback) Yeah, well, you know that's just, like uh ...your opinion, man.

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

And what the **** was all that about Vietnam, man!? What the **** does anything have to do with Vietnam!? What the **** are you talking about!?

**** sympathy. I don't need your ****in sympathy. I need my ****ing johnson!

[Responding to a rhetorical statement by Maude Lebowski about where the plot of the porno was going to lead] He fixes the cable?

[On the phone to Walter] Of course the car made it home, you're calling me at home. No, Walter, it did NOT look like Larry was about to crack! Well That's your perception. You know, you're right, Walter, there is an unspoken message here. It's [Shouting] "**** YOU, LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE!" [Calm, resigned] Yeah, I'll be at practice.

No, you're not wrong, Walter, you're just an ASSHOLE!

You mean...coitus?

[While being shoved into a limo] Hey! Careful, man, there's a beverage here!

Stay away from my special... from my ****ing lady friend man.

Nice marmot.

[admiring a picture of Jeffrey Lebowski] This is Lebowski..on the left there? So he's a crip-uh..handicap..guy?

Yeah... I got a rash, man...

[in response to a thug holding a bowling ball and asking what it is] Obviously you're not a golfer

This is a very complicated case, Maude. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And uh, lotta strands to keep in my head, man. Lotta strands in old Duder's head.

My only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off.

Fortunately, I'm adhering to a very strict drug regimen to keep my mind limber...

Let me explain something to you about the Dude...

You brought the ****ing Pomeranian bowling?

The In-and-Out Burger is on Camrose

The Dude abides...

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